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Beha'aloscha- True Humility
For this year’s Parsha Lesson I will be focusing on a chinuch (parenting/educational) lesson that can be derived from the Dvar Torah.
Background
In this week’s Parsha we have a few of the most extraordinary statements of the entire Torah. During the episode of Miriam and Aharon, Moshe Rabbeinu’s older siblings, discussing something which they perceived to be problematic with Moshe’s behavior, Hashem Himself enters the fray and proclaims at first that Moshe ‘is the most humble man on the face of the earth’. Hashem then continues and rebukes Miriam and Aharon for daring to criticize Moshe by saying- that his (Moshe’s) level of prophecy is far beyond yours, and any other prophet’s, level of prophecy.
Hashem continues, and testifies about Moshe, that he is ‘trusted in my entire house’. Moshe, Hashem says, can speak with Me as one does to a friend, and Moshe sees and perceives Me clearly. And finally, Hashem concludes, how could you not have been afraid to speak badly of him!?
Wow! The pinnacle of all of humanity, testified as so by Hashem Himself! As the Rambam explains in his introduction to Pirkei Avos, Rambam’s Eight Chapters, (beginning of chapter 7) the ability for Man to be able to ‘see’ G-d, is directly correspondent to their level of perfection in both knowledge and character- the true measures of man. Moshe, about whom Hashem testified, that he was able to ‘see’ Hashem clearly, reached the highest level of human perfection possible.
Question
Being that this was so, and being that this was testified by Hashem in the Torah that Moshe himself wrote down for the Jewish people, how then is it possible for Moshe to have been the most humble of all men!? There is no greater approbation than that of G-d Himself! If Hashem is saying that Moshe is the ultimate, greatest person of all time, how could Moshe also be the most humble person of all time!?
Answer
The Ramchal in his classical work, Mesillas Yesharim, explains that true humility, or lack thereof, is not a question of the person recognizing themselves to be great, but rather what the result is of one’s greatness. If I am great in a certain area, does this mean that I am therefore deserving of praise and for others to think highly of me? If someone feels that way, then they are arrogant and not humble. If, on the other hand, a person recognizes that they are great but that does not confer on them any ‘right to praise and adulation’ then that person is humble.
If a person thinks of themselves as being great in a certain area, that now presents them with a challenge to be arrogant about themselves because of this extraordinary quality that they have, but this does not necessarily mean that they will be arrogant. To be haughty means for one to feel that others should recognize and praise their abilities, someone who properly recognizes their strengths will not necessarily fall victim to this.
The important thing to keep in mind about humility is that the source and question of whether or not someone is truly humble is a question of what is in their heart. The ‘show’ of humility and the behaviors which we associate with humility, are just that- an outer show of humility and not necessarily indicative of the real thing. In fact, the Mesillas Yesharim says, there are many haughty and arrogant people, who wish for others to give them praise and adulation for their highly developed character and for others to recognize them as humble people!
Meaning, they are arrogant and haughty, and want others to praise them for being humble! They will, therefore, often act with an exaggerated humility in order to show others how humble they are. The Mesillas Yesharim concludes that with time, a discerning person will be able to recognize the ‘real deal’ humility from the fraudulent one. The question being- is this person always making a show of humility and are they publicizing and eager for others to recognize their humility or not? As Benjamin Franklin so honestly admitted- “I cannot boast of much success in acquiring the reality of this virtue [humility], but I had a good deal with regard to the appearance of it.”
Chinuch Lesson
Why is humility so important? Isn’t this just one of the many character traits that a person should develop themselves in?
The Orchos Tzaddikim, in the first chapter of his book, says that ‘it is most fitting to begin with the discussion of arrogance, for this is what leads to many evils and we do not see any other character trait as bad from all of the character traits.’ A person who harbors arrogance in their heart will insidiously do much evil. Perhaps in a sly and wise fashion, but the damage that they will effect is great. A humble person, on the other hand, will effectuate great good, in a very fundamentally effective and well grounded manner.
You see, at its heart, an arrogant person is enslaved to the opinions and approbation of others- their yearning for praise and adulation demands this of them. They are therefore, NEVER able to truly judge a situation for what is just and correct and will ALWAYS be coming up with rationalizations in accordance with what they perceive will be praised by others. Good and bad to the arrogant person is not relevant. The only question is what will others think.
A humble person, on the other hand, is free to behave in a manner consistent with what they recognize as being correct and proper. Their judgment is free of being tainted and sullied by concern of what others will think and will therefore be much more proper and correct.
How important it is then to encourage such strength of character and ‘freedom’ in ourselves and in our children and students. To rise above ‘peer pressure’ ourselves, and to convey to our children, that the only thing which is important is the values and principles of the Torah (the real, fundamental good- so being, as they are those of G-d Himself), we will be freeing ourselves and our children from living a life looking over our shoulders desperately concerned with what others think of us. The key to all of this is humility and realizing that we are not deserving of praise and adulation for our strengths, and therefore the flipside- our shortcomings in the eyes of others is of no consequence as well. We only need to be concerned with where we stand in the eyes of the ultimate, true, judge: Hashem Himself.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
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