Dear TBZ community:
This Shabbat we are having our first in-person service in the sanctuary, but
you are not invited nor welcome to come
. Tomorrow, it will be the first time since Purim that we will hold a service at TBZ, and
it is not physically open to all.
I write these words, while my tears come down through my face. You are not welcome to come and we are having services this Shabbat, but we are not open to all. This is the opposite of what we want our community to be. A place with wide open doors, open to all, where you can come as you are and know you are welcome. This is your place, this is your home.
Not having pews in our sanctuary has given us the possibility to experiment with seating arrangements. Over the years, I have been thinking a lot about how to enhance our experience of prayer by bringing us closer physically. My favorite arrangement is our monthly Shabbat Nariya with chairs circling the sanctuary, all of us sitting close to one another. I cherish the sense of belonging and community that wells up when we are close to each other, when our voices surround us. I want to be close, and I want to see you and hear you.
Joey Weisenberg,
founder of the
Hadar Rising Song Institute
leads an exercise that I have experienced in his leadership workshops. Joey invites the participants of the workshop, first to sing from wherever you are standing or sitting. Then he asks the participants to move farther and farther and farther, inviting us to reflect on the physical experience of being afar -- on the sound from further apart, and how the singing experience itself is different. Then he invites us to stand very close to each other. He asks us to squeeze in, to look around, then to close our eyes and sing. Although getting so close can be uncomfortable, the closer we are the more powerful the singing and the experience.
But this week, we did the opposite in preparation for Shabbat: We moved all our chairs to the side, and set up 13 chairs, for the 13 people that will come tomorrow to Arlan’s Bar Mitzvah. We set them up by pods and created distance between them.
As I get ready for tomorrow, I think the hardest will be for me not to be able to walk around during the service, nor to be able to embrace Arlan when blessing him, but instead blessing him wearing a mask from behind a thick plexiglass screen we put in the bimah and podium.
It is all about perspective. It is all about values. Though tomorrow, nothing will be the way that we are used to, or the way that we would want, everything about our first live Shabbat service since the pandemic started, will be about who we are and the values that we hold dear. It will feel different and at moments strange. It will be empty of chairs, but filled with Torah and celebration.
My best teacher this weekend is Arlan Zbarsky, whose day this is and whose Bar Mitzvah is our shared celebration.
Nothing about this weekend is the way that Arlan imagined it the day we set up his Bar Mitzvah date, or when he started the B’nei Mitzvah group or studying with his tutor. And he is approaching this day, with joy and excitement, recognizing that what is, is, and that the choices we are making to keep us safe are not diminishing the celebration, but in a way are enhancing them.
In this week’s Torah portion, Shelach Lecha, scouts are sent into the Promised Land to bring back a report to the people of Israel. The story is known. At the end of forty days the scouts returned.
Numbers 13: 25-33 read:
וַיָּשֻׁ֖בוּ מִתּ֣וּר הָאָ֑רֶץ מִקֵּ֖ץ אַרְבָּעִ֥ים יֽוֹם
At the end of forty days they returned from scouting the land.
וַיֵּלְכ֡וּ וַיָּבֹאוּ֩ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֨ה וְאֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֜ן וְאֶל־כָּל־עֲדַ֧ת בְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֛ל אֶל־מִדְבַּ֥ר פָּארָ֖ן קָדֵ֑שָׁה וַיָּשִׁ֨יבוּ אוֹתָ֤ם דָּבָר֙ וְאֶת־כָּל־הָ֣עֵדָ֔ה וַיַּרְא֖וּם אֶת־פְּרִ֥י הָאָֽרֶץ
They went straight to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the wilderness of Paran, and they made their report to them and to the whole community, as they showed them the fruit of the land.
וַיְסַפְּרוּ־לוֹ֙ וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ בָּ֕אנוּ אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֣ר שְׁלַחְתָּ֑נוּ וְ֠גַם זָבַ֨ת חָלָ֥ב וּדְבַ֛שׁ הִ֖וא וְזֶה־פִּרְיָֽהּ
This is what they told him: “We came to the land you sent us to; it does indeed flow with milk and honey, and this is its fruit.
אֶ֚פֶס כִּֽי־עַ֣ז הָעָ֔ם הַיֹּשֵׁ֖ב בָּאָ֑רֶץ וְהֶֽעָרִ֗ים בְּצֻר֤וֹת גְּדֹלֹת֙ מְאֹ֔ד וְגַם־יְלִדֵ֥י הָֽעֲנָ֖ק רָאִ֥ינוּ שָֽׁם
However, the people who inhabit the country are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large; moreover, we saw the Anakites there.
עֲמָלֵ֥ק יוֹשֵׁ֖ב בְּאֶ֣רֶץ הַנֶּ֑גֶב וְ֠הַֽחִתִּי וְהַיְבוּסִ֤י וְהָֽאֱמֹרִי֙ יוֹשֵׁ֣ב בָּהָ֔ר וְהַֽכְּנַעֲנִי֙ יֹשֵׁ֣ב עַל־הַיָּ֔ם וְעַ֖ל יַ֥ד הַיַּרְדֵּֽן
Amalekites dwell in the Negeb region; Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites inhabit the hill country; and Canaanites dwell by the Sea and along the Jordan.”
וַיַּ֧הַס כָּלֵ֛ב אֶת־הָעָ֖ם אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר עָלֹ֤ה נַעֲלֶה֙ וְיָרַ֣שְׁנוּ אֹתָ֔הּ כִּֽי־יָכ֥וֹל נוּכַ֖ל לָֽהּ
Caleb hushed the people before Moses and said, “Let us by all means go up, and we shall gain possession of it, for we shall surely overcome it.”
וְהָ֨אֲנָשִׁ֜ים אֲשֶׁר־עָל֤וּ עִמּוֹ֙ אָֽמְר֔וּ לֹ֥א נוּכַ֖ל לַעֲל֣וֹת אֶל־הָעָ֑ם כִּֽי־חָזָ֥ק ה֖וּא מִמֶּֽנּוּ
But the men who had gone up with him said, “We cannot attack that people, for it is stronger than we.”
וַיּוֹצִ֜יאוּ דִּבַּ֤ת הָאָ֙רֶץ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר תָּר֣וּ אֹתָ֔הּ אֶל־בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לֵאמֹ֑ר הָאָ֡רֶץ אֲשֶׁר֩ עָבַ֨רְנוּ בָ֜הּ לָת֣וּר אֹתָ֗הּ אֶ֣רֶץ אֹכֶ֤לֶת יוֹשְׁבֶ֙יהָ֙ הִ֔וא וְכָל־הָעָ֛ם אֲשֶׁר־רָאִ֥ינוּ בְתוֹכָ֖הּ אַנְשֵׁ֥י מִדּֽוֹת
Thus they spread calumnies among the Israelites about the land they had scouted, saying, “The country that we traversed and scouted is one that devours its settlers. All the people that we saw in it are men of great size;
וְשָׁ֣ם רָאִ֗ינוּ אֶת־הַנְּפִילִ֛ים בְּנֵ֥י עֲנָ֖ק מִן־הַנְּפִלִ֑ים וַנְּהִ֤י בְעֵינֵ֙ינוּ֙ כַּֽחֲגָבִ֔ים וְכֵ֥ן הָיִ֖ינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶֽם
we saw the Nephilim there—the Anakites are part of the Nephilim—and we looked like grasshoppers to ourselves, and so we must have looked to them.”
The story is known. Twelve scouts go, two say yay, ten say nay. They all see the same, the difference is how they experience themselves in what they see.
The end of verse 33 is very clear about that:
וַנְּהִ֤י בְעֵינֵ֙ינוּ֙ כַּֽחֲגָבִ֔ים וְכֵ֥ן הָיִ֖ינוּ בְּעֵינֵיהֶֽם׃
...we looked like grasshoppers to ourselves, and so we must have looked to them.
We looked like grasshoppers to ourselves
,
is the essence of the scouts' failure.
They saw the challenge ahead of them as too large and they saw themselves as too small. They imagined that the situation was doomed.
There is so much we can learn from this. We can look at our Sanctuary, not open to all this Shabbat, and the chairs spread out and the very few people that can be in it and the thick plexiglass and all the health safeguards we have to follow and see weakness, failure and sadness. We could say to ourselves: It is not what we want, it is far from ideal, it is sad that we have come to this.
But we can see all of this the way that Arlan and his family are approaching it, as a day of joy and celebration.
זֶה־הַ֭יּוֹם עָשָׂ֣ה יְהוָ֑ה נָגִ֖ילָה וְנִשְׂמְחָ֣ה בֽוֹ
(Zeh hayom asah Adonai, nagila v’nismicha vo),
“This is the day God has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalms 118:24).”
We can rejoice and be glad on this day knowing our values of being a welcoming community continue to guide us, knowing that our responsibility for each other in this time of the pandemic is at the center of all our decisions. And knowing that our creativity will help us in the months to come, as we continue to be the TBZ we are: an inclusive community whose members of all ages support one another, worship together, learn together, grow together and act for social justice together.
You are all welcome to come and join us at Arlan’s Bar Mitzvah. It will be streamed on youtube live (see details below)
. And even though you won’t be there physically, I will close my eyes for a moment during the service and fill our sanctuary packed with all of you. I will hear your voices singing and imagine all of you crinkling* the candy wraps and blessing Arlan with sweetness.
Mazal tov to the Zbarsky family and to TBZ for arriving to this day!
May this Shabbat bring blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, patience and open our heart with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing.
May we have a joyful Shabbat!
