Good morning WMS Families,
The language we use is both fascinating and complex. It morphs over time. Generations have used their own distinct phrases. When I peruse my junior high school yearbook, I smile seeing where friends signed and referred to me as a “wicked mint kid.” That dated phrase brings a chuckle to this generation (though I once had an 8th grade homeroom once who thought they should try to bring back the phrase “wicked mint.” -- Now that would have been fun.)
At my dinner table there have been times I’ve felt the need for an interpreter to keep up with what my kids mean when they use terms such as - ill, flex, cap and tea. Their definitions are very different from the ones that initially pop into my mind. Knowing how attached adolescents are to the words they use, I should have better anticipated the depth of the upset that might result from the series of Public Service Announcement slides created by the WMS Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA).
The GSA crafted a PSA to help students understand a different side to the term “sus.” Here is the current version of the text of the PSA over three slides:
"Sus" is being used offensively against the LGBTQIA+ community.
Be an ally.
Recent background:
“Sus” is a slang word that’s used on the internet as a short form for suspicious or suspect. The word became hugely popular when the multiplayer game, Among Us, grew in popularity during the first pandemic-induced lockdown. The murder mystery game assigns players the character of either impostor or crewmate. “Sus” became shorthand to denote that a particular player was acting suspiciously and hence could be the impostor. (source: club1br.com)
‘Sus’ jokes are now taking over social media--from TikTok to Twitter--spreading anti-gay messages and videos. This trend instills into viewers the idea that there is something wrong with being gay. ‘Sus’ jokes perpetuate the idea that anything that isn’t heterosexual isn’t OK. (source: Depauliaonline/opinion)”
Note that the original version had the word “sus” described as a “slur.”
There was sadness, outrage, anger, and a bit of backlash following the sharing of these slides. Some students were worried and sad that they could have used a word that may have inadvertently hurt someone. One student was angry because referring to “sus” as a slur equated it with “real slurs” that are used in more hurtful and hateful ways. Others denied a connection between their benign word and homophobia was even possible. Most felt that “sus” was just a term they used with their friends in ways that had nothing to do with homophobia, incredulous that people might question their intent. “Sus” has been the catalyst for many rich, emotionally-laden conversations across the school in the last week and a half.
I have since seen some horrific Tik-Tok videos connected to “sus.” I’ve talked to fellow administrators who have had students use the word “sus” to target effiminate males in homophobic, hateful, harassing ways within their community. While the problem is a real one, many may still not think it is possible for it to enter the “Wayland bubble.” Most don’t want their speech to be regulated, especially by adults.
I want families to know our goal is not to constantly monitor the words kids are using. We are not, nor do we want to be, the “sus” police. We instead aim to complexify students' thinking and have them reflect deeply on both the intent and impact of the words they use. We educate so students can make choices that they can feel good about. This aligns with our Wellness department’s framework of the four C’s of decision making. Clarify, Consider, Choose, Consequence.
Clarify - Through clarifying students know more. “Sus” has a history; it's a history that changes over time (you may look into the sus law in Britain in the mid 1900s). “Sus” can be used with a benign intent, and most often is. “Sus” can also be used with a derogatory intent (as can so many words). Students should always check their intent.
Consider - Then they can consider. Does it feel okay to use “sus” in this context at this time? Might it hurt anyone present if it is used? Am I comfortable assuming the risk of potential hurt? What impact could my words have?
Choose - Then they choose. Use “sus” in a moment or don’t use it.
Consequence - Finally, they experience the consequence of their choice. Often the consequence is neutral and does not negatively impact anyone. Perhaps the choice has a slight negative impact - an “ouch” is felt (whether that pain is communicated or not). Or, the choice could result in someone feeling harassed around their real or perceieved sexual orientation. Sexual orientation like gender, race, religion etc. is a protected area, and would result in school discipline if it is brought to administrators and deemed to have been experienced as harassing regardless of intent.
I hope this framework is helpful for you as you engage with your children in conversations around language choices, intent, and impact. I begin where I started: language and adolescence is complicated and constantly evolving. We all want to partner together to help our middle schoolers navigate our complex world. I leave you with some words of wisdom from one of my favorite authors, Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Respectfully,
Betsy Gavron
