Is it over yet?

2020. Yeesh. Hurry up, 2021! Yes, a vaccine is on the horizon. Hurray! Yes, the US election is settled. Mostly. And yet . . . there’s still so much pain. Sadness, frustration, even despair have become frequent companions in our daily experiences.   We’re feeling grumpy, depressed, and tired of public health recommendations.  It’s understandable considering we're nine months into a deadly global pandemic, separated from family and friends, confronted with the open wounds of racial injustice and economic disparity, juggling work, childcare, and homeschooling. Oy.

Control Center And. All is not lost. Contemplating this overload, I’m reminded of the Locus of Control idea popularized in Stephen Covey’s ’80s classic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Here’s a refresher: The inner circle represents what’s within our control – our attitudes, actions and choices. The next circle is what’s beyond our direct control but within our ability to influence – like others’ thoughts or behaviours and our children’s futures.  The outer circle is everything outside our control and influence — like skin color, past decisions, the weather, the economy, a global pandemic.

Start with yourself Often when we’re stressed, we feel like our bandwidth for others shrinks. So put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help others with these two scientifically proven practices.  1. Mindfulness is a trendy topic because of its umpteen research-backed benefits. Taking a focused breath or three clears our minds and helps us step back a bit from our struggles.

During COVID, we’ve had the honour of helping forward-thinking employers bring mindfulness programs to their leaders and teams. Participants’ feedback is clear. Mindfulness helps them remain calm in challenging work situations, manage anxiety when they’re feeling stressed, and be more focused at work.  Bonus points: They also feel proud and grateful that their employer sponsored the initiative.

2. Self-Compassion. More than 2000 studies prove that self-compassion opens us up so we can see ourselves and others more clearly — a helpful prerequisite to addressing our difficult emotions. Here’s how it works. Recognise our common humanity. See your difficulty as part of being human. Among 7.6 billion global citizens, it’s a safe bet somebody else is feeling the same way you do at the same moment.  Practice self-kindness instead of self-criticism. Treat yourself with the warmth and understanding you’d offer a good friend. Reach out. Open up. Now you have the capacity to move to the second circle — influencing others. 3. Connect with others. Even before COVID, research confirmed that relationships are our greatest sources of joy, mental health, and well-being. Now? They’re essential. I saw a quote recently that resonated: Today you could be standing next to someone who is trying their best not to fall apart. So whatever you do today, do it with kindness in your heart. Fits with new research findings that suggest people who volunteer or support others during the pandemic tend to be happier.   Some ideas: Lean into Brene Brown’s evidence-based advice and be vulnerable. Honest, appropriate self-disclosure cultivates intimacy, support and belonging. On your next team Zoom call, bolster connections by pairing people for a 2-minute chat about something that’s going well and/or something they’re grateful for. Focus on the feasible. As punishing as 2020 has been, it will come to an end. Really. And — epidemiologists assure us — so will the pandemic. Until then, now's the time to practice focusing on what you can control or influence, do your best, and let go of the rest.

Want some help supporting your teams? The mindfulness programs we've brought to leaders and their teams across sectors during COVID have made a difference. Participants have gained tools that help them be calm, expanded their capacity to support their teams, and built their resilience.

We'd be honored to do whatever we can to support your leaders and teams to bring their best. Reach out if you want some help supporting your team. We can tell you more about what other organizations have gained from Search Inside Yourself (the mindfulness-based emotional intelligence program that was born at Google and based in neuroscience), our other mindfulness programs, or our customized Leadership Academy.

About the Author Mary Ellen Sanajko is an internationally recognized speaker, trainer and leadership coach. During her 25+ years of experience, she's worked with small- to large-sized organizations, and teams of all shapes and sizes. In that time, she's developed quite a track record helping leaders and teams stretch and step up to challenges.

If there's anything I can do to be of service for you or your team during this challenging time . . . feel free to reach out to set up a free, 20-minute exploratory conversation. You might just end up turning barriers into bridges.