Celebrating our Founder Beverly Chappell's 90th Birthday

June 15th is Dougy Center Founder Beverly Chappell's 90th birthday! Please join us in surprising Bev by flooding her mailbox with messages of gratitude, celebration, appreciation, and joy. If you would like to send Bev a message, click here. And if you would like to make a gift to The Dougy Center in her honor, click here. We will send her an acknowledgement of your generosity. Please submit your messages and gifts by Wednesday, June 10, so that we may get them to Bev by her birthday.

The Dougy Center's roots began when Elisabeth Kübler-Ross asked Bev to check in on a boy named Dougy who was sent to OHSU, a hospital in Portland, for treatment for an inoperable brain tumor. Bev and her husband Allan, a pediatrician, had become friends with Elisabeth after attending her lectures.

At age 13, Dougy started corresponding with Elisabeth, knowing she was a key person in the dying and death field. He wanted to know why people wouldn't talk to him about the fact that he was dying. In his brief time at OHSU, he made an indelible mark with staff and kids his age, encouraging them to share their hopes, dreams, and fears.

This time with Dougy inspired Bev and Allan to open their home to families who were anticipating the death of a family member, or who had a family member die. From that first small meeting in their home in 1981, the Center has grown into the leading U.S. peer grief support center in the field, with more than 500 programs across the country and around the world based on The Dougy Center model.

We truly appreciate all Bev has done for grieving children and families. Join us in celebrating her on this milestone occasion!

Grief and Father's Day

Like many holidays throughout the year, Father's Day can spark a multitude of emotions, especially when you're grieving. If you're concerned about the approach of Father's Day, or want to support someone who is grieving, here are some suggestions to consider:

1. Remember the lead up can often be the hardest part. Be sure to build in time and activities that are comforting and supportive for at least a week before the holiday.

2. This year, there may be limitations to how you and your family can acknowledge Father's Day. If what you would normally do Father's Day isn't possible right now, talk as a family about how to adapt. Is your person's favorite restaurant offering take out or delivery? Can you do a virtual tour of a place that your person liked or always wanted to visit? Would you be able to set up a video chat with friends and family and invite people to share photos, stories, and memories?

3. Let children know that it's okay to want to celebrate and equally okay to not want to.

4. Be prepared for other people. There will be friends and family who reach out and those who don't. Consider letting people know ahead of time what kinds of messages and texts feel supportive (and which ones don't).

5. Social media will likely be a flurry of posts all about the day, including memories of past years. Consider taking a social media break or choose ahead of time what you want to post.

6. Plan something for yourself. It can be a walk or bike ride, preparing a special meal, or anything that feels right to you.

You can find additional support related to Father's Day on this tip sheet, on this Grief Out Loud podcast, and on The Dougy Center website.

Grief and COVID-19...an Activity for Kids and Teens

Being able to name their thoughts and feelings can be a powerful tool for grieving children and teens. This activity invites children and teens to identify how the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting their grief. They can write or draw their responses, and just like in grief, there are no right or wrong answers! The prompts are designed to encourage children and teens to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings, identify one thing they are looking forward to, and to imagine what their person who died would be doing, saying, or feeling if they were physically with them during this time. If your child or teen is feeling hesitant to do the activity, try filling it out yourself and sharing your answers with them. It's likely to spark a meaningful conversation!

Click on an image to download the full-sized pdf.

Relevant Resources from The Dougy Center on Issues of Race and Grief

In case you missed yesterday’s email, we have compiled a list of resources to help kids, teens, and families grappling with issues around racism and grief. You can find this important information here.