The Fit Basket
Every sibling in the home should have a Fit Basket.
Put together a basket with activities, packaged snacks, and toys that your child can take into their room or to a designated area when you are tied up dealing with the behaviours of your child with RAD.
This allows the healthy kids to feel special and gives them something positive out of the craziness going on in your home. It can help them relax during the meltdowns and fits and keep them occupied while you're busy.
The healthy kids also often feel 'forgotten' during these times and a basket filled with things that you chose for them will help them feel connected to you even when you can't be with them.
What to put in the basket:
Art activities:
- Paper/colouring book
- Pencils/markers
- Paper dolls/paper building kits
- Origami kits
- Play dough
- Water colour paints
- Slime
Packaged snacks:
- Fruit leather
- Nuts
- M&Ms/Smarties
- Skittles
- Cheese & cracker packets
- Pepperoni sticks
- Gum
Toys:
- Yo-yo
- Dominoes
- Lego
- Slinky
- Paddle ball
- Brain puzzles
- Puzzles
- Books (I Spy are great!)
Choose 2 - 4 things from each category and put them in a basket/tub/container with your child's name on it. Keep it in a place the child can reach and designate their "Fit Spot" (bedroom is usually best so they can shut the door).
When your child with RAD is having a fit or meltdown that you have to focus 100% on, call out your "Fit Phrase" (pick something fun, like "The bananas are going to the beach!"), and that is the signal for your kids to grab their Fit Baskets and head to their rooms. They can come out only to use the bathroom and must stay there until you come and get them.
P.S. Trade out the items every once in a while to keep the basket engaging.
One-on-One Parent Time
Healthy kids often get put on the back burner when there is a child in the home that causes so much chaos and stress and takes the majority of parent's time, energy, and resources.
Schedule time every day to spend one-on-one with your healthy child(ren). Spend 15 - 30 minutes each day reading together, playing a game, doing a puzzle, playing ball, whatever you both enjoy.
I know it's hard to find the time each day, but it is one of the most important investments of your time you will ever make.
You can schedule time during the day and have all other children in their bedrooms for quiet time, you can stagger bedtimes and spend time in the evening together, and/or you can get respite once a week or once a month and take your healthy kids out for a day of fun and bonding.
Make it work. Make it important. Make it a necessity.
Time Away from Home
When the stress levels and chaos are through the roof in your home and it's "one of those days", it's time for the healthy kids to get away.
These kiddos need some time in a "normal" house (we all know our homes aren't "normal", they're therapeutic), whether it's with a family friend, Grandparents, an Aunt or Uncle, or a neighbour. Somewhere they can join in with the family and be a part of it for a couple of hours or a day (they don't have to be constantly entertained, they will greatly benefit from joining in with family chores, running errands with them, or even completing homework).
Choose 1 - 3 options of people who can support you and your kids this way and would be able to come pick them up when needed and who will understand why your family needs this.
**This does NOT mean you are a bad or neglectful parent - it means you are an overwhelmed parent who is doing the best you can to help heal your family, and understand the importance of having a support team around you.
