Hello Wonderful Dougy Center Volunteers!

Note: We also sent this message to you via regular mail, but wanted to include it here in case you missed it!

I wanted to reach out and connect as we head into autumn and surpass the six-month mark of such a profound shift in our world.

Organizationally we have had an ongoing awareness that much of what we have been coping with over the last six months relates to grief, however the vastness of the many losses we are all facing continues to become more and more apparent. Although together we excel in supporting children and families who are grieving, we are unfortunately not experts in navigating global pandemics or the destructive impact of wildfires. I would be remiss to not also acknowledge the crisis of anti-blackness and police violence, and the protests in reaction to systemic racism we are experiencing as a country and a city as well.

As we start up another school year, one that last March most of us thought would never look as it does, I deeply feel all of the tangible and intangible losses that I would bet so many of you are also feeling. The thing that I miss the absolute most is seeing all of you, our volunteer facilitators, and the families! I can imagine that you too are missing the ritual of walking through the doors of any of our Dougy Center homes* with anticipation of connecting with your Group Coordinator, fellow Facilitators, and the families — especially in consideration of the meaningful relationships that we have all forged.

What I want you to know is, while we can’t change the current circumstances that prevent us from going back to exactly how things were, we recognize the grief that accompanies all these changes. We feel it too and you are not alone.

Over these last six months, we have worked tirelessly to continue to support grieving children and families in our community and beyond in the best way we know how. With collaboration from other centers across the country who are doing similar work, countless brainstorming sessions, evaluating and reevaluating plans, we feel incredibly proud of what we have been able to offer during this time. The survey we recently sent out shows that families and volunteers agree! We also recognize that the way that we have structured our virtual program doesn’t allow us to offer all the same groups at the same time or day and reduces the number of volunteers that we can use each week. These decisions were made because of family response, as well as organizational and staff bandwidth. We honor that this may be really disappointing to some.

Our program staff reach out to all Dougy Center families every other week through emails and phone calls to check in and provide resources. The level of engagement we have gotten back has varied greatly from our families and we trust that they know we are there if they need us, while they also have a lot going on. So many of you have asked about the families, and it is natural to miss the families and wonder how they are doing when you don’t have the regular contact you used to have. You might be interested to know that we have just surpassed serving 500 people in our virtual groups and we have welcomed many new families to our Dougy Center community during this time. (About a third of our existing families opted into virtual groups, and 54 new adults, 93 new kids/teens, and 24 new young adults have joined us since March — with new people reaching out every day.)

I want to acknowledge we have also had staffing changes – some planned and some unexpected — that may impact a number of our volunteers in feeling connected to The Dougy Center in an already challenging time. We wish we could have said goodbye in a more traditional Dougy Center way! (We are still holding out hope for a retirement party for Joan to celebrate her 28 years of service in the future!) If you are feeling untethered due to a staffing change, please reach out to either myself or Alysha Lacey, Program Director. We eagerly await the time when it is right to expand our team again!

We have a few upcoming opportunities for connection that we really hope you will join us for:

  • October 16th – 4 pm for precast and 4:30 for the livestream – We will be holding our annual Portraits of Courage event virtually. Dr. Tashel Bordere will speak about the impact of grief on communities of color, you will hear from a former Dougy Center participant, and enjoy a virtual art exhibit featuring original photos by current Dougy Center families and volunteers. You can learn more on our website. We hope that you will join us and invite friends! RSVP here.

  • October 17th – 10 am to 11:30 am – We will be having a Volunteer Facilitator In-service virtually on Grieving During COVID-19. Please see details below! You can RSVP to jana@dougy.org.

  • Date TBD – We are planning a Dougy Center Community-wide Candlelight Remembrance Ceremony. We are firming up plans on how to make this meaningful and accessible to all our families and volunteers and will be letting you know more details just as quickly as we have them. We are hoping to combine this with some special plans for the kids in our program between now and the end of the year – hopefully along the lines of what we did with the care packages we distributed to all program participants over the summer. 

If you would like to help for episodic projects in the office, you can always email Cheryl (cheryl@dougy.org). If you’d like to be put on a list to help in a virtual group when there is an opening, you can email Alysha (alysha@dougy.org). If you’d like to join the Volunteer Support Group, you can email Jana (jana@dougy.org). We are always trying to think of additional ways to connect and are open to your ideas in this area as well!

Please know that we are continuously working towards the time when we can return safely to in-person groups. We rely on updates from the Oregon Health Authority, Governor Kate Brown’s office, local school districts, and many others in order to move forward in our planning process. As always, the safety of our community (including families, volunteers, and staff) is of utmost importance. We are grateful in these difficult circumstances that some have found our virtual support groups to be more accessible than coming to a Dougy Center home — and we are taking that into account as we envision what future comprehensive grief support groups might look like. We appreciate your ongoing understanding and support!

Please know that I am available to you if you have anything you would like to share: brennan@dougy.org or 503-542-4823.

Fondly and with deep appreciation, 

Brennan C. Wood
Executive Director — and past Dougy Center kid and volunteer and current Dougy Center parent :)

*I wanted to assure all of you that Walker’s House in Canby, although at one point at a level 2 evacuation, is okay after the evacuation due to the Riverside Fire. We check on both our Canby and Hillsboro homes weekly.