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Assertive Engagement Newsletter
April 2023
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In our newsletter last month, we focused on the topic of strength and resilience. It is one of the ways we manage, fight, survive, and overcome experiences of trauma; trauma often resulting from exposure to systems of oppression. Over the next few months we will also talk about healing and resistance in the face of hardship.
We as a community (neighborhood, city, county, state, country, world) see countless tragic acts of violence and destruction on a regular basis. These occur between loved ones, strangers, at the hands of institutions meant to protect us - on a global level and at the cellular level.
Now before you start thinking "Geez, y'all are bumming us out..."
There is hope! We acknowledge this because it's real, and we all exist in this world where experiencing harm is commonplace. In honor of this truth, April's newsletter is meant to serve as a healing toolkit.
Just as we all experience trauma, we all can find strategies to heal from it. If you've been reading our newsletters, you know we encourage connection to promote healing. Leaning on your community and accepting the support of others can be a powerful tool in the healing process.
We use empathy with each other as a training team, listening to each other's perspective to understand what they are feeling. We also take time to rest and step away from the work so we can engage with all of you with restored energy.
We hope the resources we provide here are useful in your own healing journey or for those in your community - please feel free to share!
The Assertive Engagement Team,
- Helen & Rhea
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“We are our stories, stories that can be both prison and the crowbar to break open the door of that prison; we make stories to save ourselves or to trap ourselves or others, stories that lift us up or smash us against the stone wall of our own limits and fears. Liberation is always in part a storytelling process: breaking stories, breaking silences, making new stories. A free person tells her own story. A valued person lives in a society in which her story has a place.”
— Rebecca Solnit
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In this best-selling groundbreaking book, therapist Resmaa Menakem examines the damage caused by racism in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology.
Menakem argues this destruction will continue until Americans learn to heal the generational anguish of white supremacy, which is deeply embedded in all our bodies. Our collective agony doesn’t just affect BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) community members. White Americans suffer their own secondary trauma as well and so do those that work in law enforcement.
My Grandmother’s Hands is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head, but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched racialized divide.
“In today’s America, we tend to think of healing as something binary: either we’re broken or we’re healed from that brokenness. But that’s not how healing operates, and it’s almost never how human growth works. More often, healing and growth take place on a continuum, with innumerable points between utter brokenness and total health.”
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Here's a list of somatic practices pulled from the book My Grandmothers Hands.
12 Healing Somatic Practices To Do Together
*Please do these activities with individuals or groups you know and trust*
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Hum or sing together. Hum or sing a tune, single note, or series of notes you all know.
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Hum and touch. Find someone that you trust to touch you. Before you begin to hum, have your partner face away from you. Next gently cup your hand around the base of their skull (this is where your soul nerve begins, a concept Menakem elaborates in his book). Begin to hum together while keeping your hand on their skull. After a period of time, switch places.
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Rub your bellies, breastbones, or solar plexuses at the same time. In a group, however large or small, each person will rub their own.
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Braiding or combing each other's hair. Remember, this is not a gendered activity. Anyone can braid or comb anyone else's hair.
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Take a silent walk together with the goal of keeping your footsteps in sync. Walk side by side or one after the other. Remember to keep silent as you walk in sync.
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Massage someone's hand for one or two minutes. After getting their permission, massage their hand(s) gently for a minute or two.
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If you are with someone who is in emotional distress, simply sit with them and be settled and present. If they are crying, let yourself cry as well. If they wish to talk, allow them the space to be heard and listen attentively. Refrain from interrupting, asking questions, or making judgments.
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Line dance or folk dance together. Do this as a group and not as partners.
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Sit silently in a circle for a small amount of time and breathe together. Deliberately choose not to make eye contact during this activity. Instead, cast your eyes downwards or keep them closed. Breathe together as a group for 10 to 15 minutes.
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Rhythmic group clapping. Clap together using your bodies as drums to create a beat for everyone to do together.
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Cook together. This also includes eating together, feeding each other, giving food to those who are going through difficult times, sharing recipes, teaching others to cook, cooking together, cooking for an event, or hosting a potluck. Stick to foods that make people feel good. Be mindful of your audience, that is ask about any dietary restrictions your group may have to best accommodate those you wish to share good food with.
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Offer supportive touch. Gently but firmly, offer someone support by holding a part of their body. This can be their hand, their shoulder, or the back of their neck. Remember to ask permission before you attempt to touch them. This can be especially effective if someone is distraught. You can also hum or sing if you'd like.
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"...This is a labor of love. It has found me and inspired a mission of raising awareness and honoring the memory of those lost. I hope it helps those still here heal, even if only a very small amount. Perhaps it will help someone still suffering gain the courage to get help. You are not alone, you are not without hope, we are your sisters and we are here beside you."
Nayana LaFond
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Art as Awareness
During the pandemic shutdown, artist Nayana LaFond saw a photo of an activist wearing red in support of missing and murdered Indigenous people and decided to paint a portrait as "a catharsis and tribute to a domestic violence survivor and my matrilineal line." She posted an image of the painting online and received thousands of hits overnight, and saw the power of her images. She decided to to paint anyone that was associated with a missing or murdered Indigenous person that wanted one of her portraits, and the Portraits in RED series was born.
She has completed over 90 portraits with no intention of stopping. She gifts the paintings to the family members at no cost, and sell prints to support the project.
If you are planning a trip to the coast soon, there are 40 portraits on display at the Pacific Maritime Heritage Center until May 7, 2023.
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Community Supported Healing
This zine, Everyday Healing by artist and therapist Jessica Radovich is available to download for free.
It was created as part of Mural Arts Philadelphia's Porch Light program which focuses on achieving universal health and wellness among Philadelphians, especially those dealing with mental health issues or trauma. They do this by providing opportunities to contribute to meaningful works of public art.
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"When you create that space to make something, it opens up another world."
-Dr. Meagan Corrado
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The Only Way Out is Through © 2017 City of Philadelphia Mural Arts Program / Eric Okdeh. Photo by Steve Weinik. | |
It Began with an Acre...
In honor of Earth Day we wanted to share one woman's extraordinary story on conservation, community, and restoration.
In 1988 Sabarmatee Tiki and her father bought an acre of wasteland that they were told would never grow anything. By using organic farming techniques like mulching, allowing wild plant growth, and encouraging animal and insect habitats, their land has grown to 90 fertile acres of forest and farmland. Sabarmatee also runs a seed exchange with over 500 indigenous seed varieties of rice and has a community seed exchange program.
Learn more about her journey to heal the land in this video.
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"We accepted the challenge and stayed committed to the cause. We call our journey Sambhav, from the impossible to the possible."
-Sabarmatee
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6 Signs You May Notice As You're Healing from Trauma
Healing is hard work and it can be hard to notice incremental changes. Here are some signs that you've begun to heal.
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You Begin Feeling Your Emotions (Rather Than Minimizing Them)
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Practicing Living Mindfully (Rather Than Mindlessly)
- Your Body Releases Tension & Trauma
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You Reach Out More For Support & Ask For Help (Rather Than Isolating)
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You Stop Reacting Less (And Start Reflecting More)
- You Start Grieving For What You Never Had
Read the full article by Seattle therapist Cahn Tran, LICSW.
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Have a story or thoughts to share? Email us: aeinfo@multco.us! | |
Question of the Month
What has helped you heal from past trauma? Who can support you in the future?
Tell us about it and we'd love to feature it in our next newsletter!
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April Poll
Where do you go to restore yourself?
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March Poll Results!
Thank you to everyone who responded with where you see examples of women's strength!
This is the most even spread we've ever seen in one of our monthly polls, which means we can find strength in our community in so many places.
Here are your responses in order:
My family 28%
My ancestors 20%
My friends 16%
Myself 12%
Historical figures 12%
The younger generation 12%
Looking for examples of strength in your community (and being that example) encourages resilience and can be an inspiration in others. Take time to recognize and affirm each other as we heal and grow stronger together.
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Upcoming Virtual Training Opportunities | |
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June
- Day 1 Tuesday, June 20th, 9am - 3pm
- Day 2 Thursday, June 22nd, 9am - 3pm
- Day 3 Tuesday, June 27th, 9am - 3pm
- Day 4 Thursday, June 29th, 9am - 3pm
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It's happening! During the month of May we will be in production for our video module e-learning series.
We will announce any future training sessions via this newsletter, stay tuned!
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Upcoming Community of Ongoing Practice Sessions
April 27
Resilience
2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
May 25
Healing
2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
Sign up to join our community of practice email list and get updates on future programming and events.
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What is a Community of Ongoing Practice?
A group of people who share a common interest and interact often to learn from each other and advance their work.
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