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November 2021

ERICSHOUSE
November Newsletter
Dear EricsHouse Community,

Welcome to November 2021! May this month be a time to reflect on all silver linings, blessings and beautiful moments in life. Even in our darkest days the light can still shine through. Great adversity can result in immense growth. Trials and tribulations remind us of our strength. Thankfulness provides a sense of hope and joy. It assures us that we can come together as one. EricsHouse is grateful for our beautiful community and the stories that create deep bonds. We are thankful for every memory shared with our loved ones. We will never forget them. Our love lives on!

-EricsHouse
Connect With Us:
Letter From Our Founder
Marianne Gouveia
Honoring Your Grief

The moment that I learned of my son’s death, I knew that I had a rough road ahead to face my grief – a road that I did not want to travel down. I couldn’t imagine living life without my sweet boy. While I have experienced many losses in my life, none were so threatening to my well-being as the suicide death of my child. This loss is the worst I have endured, by a wide margin.

I knew that I had to find new ways of thinking about my life, and my family’s life. I threw myself into researching grief, taking courses, talking with other loss survivors – all along thinking that I could “think” my way through this loss. I learned a lot about grief. . . and I learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned that there is no one “right” way to grieve.

In all our training on grief, we learn about the things that we will naturally feel – guilt, regret, shame, overwhelming sorrow, emptiness – the list goes on and on. It has taken years for me to recognize the blessings that came with my sorrow. Gratitude, courage, compassion, hope, kindness toward others, and laughter are just a few feelings that help us to remember that with great pain there is always the possibility of joy.

Think about this: In the midst of our pain, we somehow manage to live our lives. We do our daily tasks, we manage to get out of bed, we manage to get to work, to get to the grocery store, we manage to be polite to those who want to help us, we manage somehow to get through each moment of every day under the immense weight of anguish and despair. There’s a reason we call the bereaved ‘Survivors.'

I call this strength. I call this fortitude. I call this bravery and courage.

How can we honor our grief, especially as the weight of the holidays is bearing down upon us?

Finding the good in things can foster gratitude and well-being. While we experience the pain of our loss, we can also look for the good things that make us joyful and laugh. There is good out there so we must be open to seeing it.

Connect. We heal through connection, we mourn through expression to others, we learn to hope again when we gain perspective on the blessings in our lives – including relationships.
 
Take your grief with you into nature. Your grief is sacred to you. You can decide to leave the chaos you are feeling, take your grief with you on a long walk or hike, go to the ocean, gaze at the mountains, or simply sit in the peace and quiet of the sunrise or sunset. Sit in the sun or work in your garden.  
 
Establish routines and rituals to keep their memories alive. Create rituals to honor your loved one. Bake their favorite pie, watch their favorite movie, place something new at their altar – yes, it is perfectly fine to have an altar that moves from room to room and changes as you change in your grief journey.  

Tell their stories: We honor our lost loved ones and our grief when we tell their stories. Their stories bring them back into our lives.  

WHEN SOMEONE IS GONE
Donna Ashworth

When someone is gone,
you can bring them back,
for just a little while,
by talking them into life.

By painting a picture with your memories and your words,
breathing their essence back into existence,
for just a few moments.

When someone is gone,
you can see them again,
for a minute or two,
by being all the things they once were.

By allowing their best traits to filter through you,
shaping your words, your thoughts and your deeds,
back out into this world.

When someone is gone,
you can feel them again,
for just a moment,
by playing their music,
and singing their favorite songs.
By giving yourself up to the notes that brought them alive,
once upon a time, it will again.

When someone is gone,
you can keep a part of them alive,
by giving the love you had for them a forever place in your life,
a forever seat at your table and a glorious chapter in your book.
Stories never die, and boy did they make stories.
Tell them.
 
Rumi, a 13th century poet, says “where there is ruin, there is always great treasure." I have read about the idea of an 'emotional piggy-bank.' Think of a piggy bank full of positive emotions like hope, love, compassion, kindness, inspiration, peace, and serenity. Dip into that piggy bank when you need something positive.  
 
These are some ways in which you can bring your loved one into your life. Each year, I find new ways to remember my son and to honor my grief. It is OK to be sad and sorrowful, just try to remember that there is a blessing in our pain, so look for those blessings.
 
Next month, I will share some strategies that I use to survive the holidays.

Much Love,
Marianne Gouveia
Co-Founder, EricsHouse
Listen to an interview about EricsHouse with
Marianne Gouveia &
Charlie Huero on
KOOL FM! Be sure to follow @bekindalwayspodcast on Facebook!
NO COST Virtual Grief
Support Groups
for Men & Women
You don't have to grieve alone.
Finding Your Way Through the Wilderness of Grief Virtual Support Group for Men
This group is open to men who have lost a child, spouse, sibling, parent, or close friend.

The Finding Our Way Men’s Group focuses on the challenge of integrating your loss to define a new version of yourself, find meaning and purpose, and receive and give support to others. 

Sessions are weekly on Tuesday at 6 PM MST.

Starting November 16, 2021.

If you would like more information please call Greg Eckerman at 480-734-3423 or by email at greg@ericshouse.org.
Grief During The Holiday Season
Support Group for Mothers Who Have Lost a Child
EricsHouse Support Group for Mothers creates a safe space for you to talk about your loss. This group is open to Mothers who have lost a child to suicide, substance abuse, homicide, illness or any sudden loss. 
 
Sessions are weekly on Wednesdays at 5:00 PM MST.

Starting November 17, 2021.

If you would like more information please contact Marianne Gouveia at marianne@ericshouse.org.
Dear EricsHouse Community,

The EricsHouse team pulled off a digital, online fundraiser on 10/10/20 and with your help and support we are proud to announce that we raised just under $70K. Moving forward into 2022, EricsHouse will be able to fund and train new Grief Support Specialists, grow our Spiritual Guidance team, expand our Men’s and Women’s Grief Support groups and provide more services to all of the new members coming to EricsHouse.

We are extremely thankful for your gracious contributions and support. Hope and Healing on 10/10/21 was a success thanks to you all. Don’t miss out incredible segments on reiki, breath work, healing, memorials, loss survivor stories, hope and joy. 
In case you missed it or would like to rewatch, visit:

Introducing The Tree of Life
The Tree of Life is a custom art installation, created by local artists to help us remember our loved ones. This unique exhibit will be displayed in the center of the EricsHouse facility on a 7′ x 11′ birch panel.

Leaves available December 1st!

Our Tree of Life will hold the names of people lost to suicide and substance abuse in the leaves on the tree. When you donate $100 in the name of your lost loved one, a personalized leaf will be placed on the tree as a lasting memorial. Only donations through the Tree of Life campaign will receive a leaf. Leaves may also be purchased for friends and family as a gift in their loved one’s honor.
Giving Tuesday is November 30! EricsHouse is proud to be a part of this global celebration of giving that unleashes the power of people to transform their communities and the world. We invite you and your friends to support EricsHouse during this special day.

EricsHouse has big aspirations to help more individuals who are hurt from the traumatic loss of someone they love – brother, sister, spouse, partner, parent, or friend. This coming year, our determination is to add three grief companions to our staff so we can serve the growing number of people who need a safe space to heal.

On Giving Tuesday, please consider being a partner with EricsHouse to help others. Tell the story of EricsHouse to another person. Contribute a financial gift to EricsHouse. No matter how small or large, every act of generosity counts.

Mark your calendars for November 30. Stay tuned for more details about EricsHouse and Giving Tuesday. Follow EricsHouse on Facebook and Instagram for exciting updates and stories. Be a part of this incredible movement that is engaging millions of people around the globe. We are all interconnected and we can all make a difference.

"Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark." 
Author unknown