In a recent magazine essay, entitled (in the print edition), “Admit It, You Miss Your Commute,” Jerry Useem wrote, “Many people liberated from the commute [during the pandemic] have experienced a void they can’t quite name. In it, all theaters of life collapse into one. There are no beginnings or endings.” In that essay, he discusses the value of the commute as a boundary ritual that helps us cross from one role in life to another.

That observation, and Useem’s essay as a whole, prompted these reflections on everyday rituals.

I grew up in an evangelical, low-church liturgical tradition that was suspicious of ritual. The “bells and smells” of high-church ritual, complete with elaborate vestments and prescribed gestures, were foreign territory. Yet, if anyone ever suggested changing the order of worship, they could expect pushback: “We’ve always done it this way!”

Our rituals, simple or elaborate, acknowledged or not, give shape to our lives. Michael Norton, a professor at Harvard Business School, has shown that groups that perform simple rituals together (such as clapping hands and stamping feet) are more productive and efficient than groups who don’t.

Ezra Bookman is a business consultant who helps corporations design rituals. (As Useem comments in his essay, yes, corporate-ritual designer is a real job!) Bookman’s website highlights the manifold values of rituals. Think of the simple act of saying grace before a meal in these terms:

·       “Rituals disrupt the automatic and habitual, slowing us down to be more conscious, present, and grateful.” Conscious of the bounty of creation; of the labor that has grown, shipped, and prepared the food; and of the blessings of abundance. Yes, the ritual of table grace not only expresses our gratitude; it actually helps us be more grateful.

·       Rituals “connect … us to ideas and communities bigger than ourselves.” Even if we are eating alone, bowing to pray connects us to people of faith around the world and to generations past.

·       Rituals embody values, making “the intangible tangible, creating spaces for the shared experience and expression of our values.” You may lecture your kids about gratitude and reverence all you want, but it will never have as much impact as the simple practice of regularly saying grace.

In times of uncertainty (does that sound familiar?) performing rituals help to reduce anxiety and increase our sense of control over our lives. Bookman told Useem that he had changed the password for his laptop to “DeepBreath.” “It helps me to locate myself in time and say, ‘Okay, what am I here to do?’”

Reddy Kilowatt was an early childhood mentor for meaningful rituals. His image in my next-door neighbor’s house was associated with the orderliness of the hours. Our neighbor, Mr. Heinsohn, worked for the electric utility Central Power and Light, but it was his hobby of collecting clocks that caught my attention. At precise times, on the dot, chimes, gongs, and coo-coo’s wafted across the seashell driveway into our open windows. Hearing the ritual of time passing set boundaries for even pre-school childhood tasks like playtimes and nap times.

Besides the sounds connecting my room to the neighbor’s dining room, there was the aroma of bread baking on Wednesdays. Mrs. Heinsohn followed the familiar German weekday rituals of washing on Mondays, ironing on Tuesdays, baking on Wednesdays, and so on during every day of every week.

When, as an adult, I began working from my home office in the late ‘80’s some good advice I followed was to set boundaries for work, personal, and social time by establishing a ritual for transitioning to and from my work office just down the hall. The simpler rituals worked the best.

Today, these days our mornings are blessed with rituals to create our sacred space for the day. Pouring steaming cups of green and rooibos teas, followed by praying the Liturgy of the Hours, and ending with an inspirational Haiku sets the days in motion to be more conscious, present, and grateful. (And we pray for you, our readers.) Mid-afternoons we brew a cup of organic Guatemalan coffee followed by spiritual reading.

Reddy Kilowatt is a perfect icon for ritualizing the day. He has bright ideas, is always happy, and he never runs out of energy. His theme song reflects his rituals: “I wash and dry your clothes, play your radios, I can heat your coffee pot, I am always there, with lots of power to spare, ’cause I’m REDDY KILOWATT!” Without his inspiration, surely these days would by less orderly and more chaotic.

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