Letting Students Define Their Dreams
One of the most challenging aspects of coaching is when student dreams and desires differ from what the coach believes would be best. We, as coaches, arrive at the coaching meeting with a wealth of knowledge, experience, and perspective. However, we serve students best when we maintain a strong boundary between what we hope for them and what they hope for themselves. If we project our dreams onto theirs, asking leading questions or probing them to define what they might do if their dream doesn't work out, we decrease the very agency we aim to build through coaching.
Coaches, take care not to project your dreams onto those whom you coach, for their dreams may differ from yours. Pay attention to the narratives that run through your mind as you meet with students. If you find yourself making judgments about a student's plans or dreams, or wanting to steer them away from a path you consider unproductive, shift your attention back to the student by:
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Re-engaging your listening. Don't be afraid to ask a student to repeat something you may not have heard if you got briefly hijacked by judgmental thoughts and worries.
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Inviting details. Ask questions that invite the student to describe their dreams and plans more specifically, and to explore the personal "why" behind them.
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Challenging in a positive fashion. Ask the student what obstacles they anticipate and what they might do to overcome them.
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Establishing your unconditional support. When a student feels you will be present no matter the path or the outcome, they will be more likely to turn to you for help as they navigate the twists and turns.
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