ISSUE 63                                                                                                                                                                                   SEPTEMBER 2021
The Spaces In Between
September is here, and quite honestly, it is not turning out quite as I had imagined. My grasp on going back to normal has been so tight, I can feel my hands ache. I expect all of us are experiencing adjustments to the fluidity around health and safety. The reality is that this pandemic will be with us, in all of its forms, for quite some time. In this uncertainty, we may find ourselves filled with glimmers of hope, disappointments, anxiety, determination, and at times, dismay, knowing the possibility of "normal" feels so far away. With all of these big feelings, I wonder how we can learn to embrace the spaces in between.
 
My heart is full of joy, knowing that we will be together soon. However, that joy does not shine as bright as not all of us will be together in these gatherings. We will feel the absence of those who cannot join us due to safety concerns, and our children's faith exploration hallways will feel empty until our younger children have access to vaccinations. As we hold these absences, we hold open the spaces in between.
 
Maya Angelou writes:
We need joy as we need air.
We need love as we need water.
We need each other as we need the earth we share.
 
I wonder, with all that we hold, how might we discover the possibilities of...
Breathing in joy?
Discovering fountains of love?
Connecting our hearts and lives with others?

Be gentle and kind with yourself and others and know you are loved.

 
Children and Youth Programing beginning September 12

Please look for links or updates in your Weekly Connection or on JUC's calendar.
 
Kindergarten-5th Grade: Until vaccines are available, our younger children will be meeting from 9:15-9:50 a.m. online. Classes will begin directly after Time for All Ages during our worship service. We invite all of our children to watch the story with their families before coming to class. Monthly faith exploration packets will be sent home to all registered K-5 children. You can register your family here.
 
6th Grade Neighboring Faiths: All 6th graders will be meeting in person at 11 a.m. at Maple Grove Park while weather permits. We ask that parents drop off and pick up your child at the park. We require parents to check in AND check out their children with one of the Neighboring Faith teachers. As inclement weather approaches, we will offer remote programming for under 12 young people and an in-person option for children over 12 who have access to vaccinations. 
 
7th Grade Our Whole Lives (OWL): JUC's OWL program will meet in person at 11 a.m. We have shifted our programming to address lessons that need to be held in person first, in case we need to change to online programming. 
 
8th Grade Coming of Age (COA): COA will meet in person at 11 a.m. Facilitators will keep families updated if any changes need to be made due to COVID safety concerns. 
 
High School Youth Group: JUC's high schoolers will meet for youth group in person at JUC from 6:30-8 p.m.on Sunday evenings. High schoolers are invited to attend worship service together at 11 a.m.
Our Community's
Embrace
Among the things we cherish about Sunday is the opportunity to have our joys and sorrows held in the embrace of our community. Even through these months of remaining safely distanced, we have continued to lift the celebrations and concerns of all of us prayerfully. As we plan to gather in person, albeit sadly without our children under 12, we will continue that practice. 

You've told us that sometimes you want know that you are held, even though there is nothing you want to name or want said publicly. We heard you. 

Going forward, as you enter the sanctuary from the back (doors by the name tags), you will see our prayer table. On it, you will find a bowl flanked on either side by two bowls of stones. We invite you to take a stone, holding it for a moment infusing it with whatever is on your heart, and then placing it in our common bowl. During our call to worship, the bowl will be brought to the chancel and placed near our chalice. Our prayer each week will reference those unspoken worries and wonders that are in the bowl. Love is the spirit of our church. Our embrace is big enough for all we are carrying.

Please do remember if you want something held during service, send an email to cares@jeffersonunitarian.org or call 720-CHURCH9 (720-248-7249) indicating what you want in our prayer and whether you would like a follow up call.
Board of Trustees Report
The Board continues to receive monthly updates from the Safety Team, to ensure that we have the proper guidelines in place at JUC as we head into the Fall season.

The Board has initiated a project in partnership with the Unity Consulting Group, to review JUC's values, mission and ends, and refresh its understanding of its purpose and relevance. Please be on the lookout for opportunities for members of the congregation to participate in this exciting process over the next few months!
Blessings and Planned Giving
Estate planning is about accepting all feelings, meeting pain, and opening us to new possibilities. It is a blessing we give our family and loved ones. It can open us to receiving the blessings of trusted attorneys, accountants and financial advisors. We bless ourselves by setting aside fears of uncertainty. 

You are a blessing to JUC and JUC is a blessing to you. Our gifts flow from one to the other and cycle through the generations to come. Please include JUC as a benefactor in your estate plan. Contact JUC's planned giving coordinators: Bud & B.J. Meadows, Mike Kramer or Carol Wilsey
Tiny Survival Guide
Cultivate Relationships. Admire Art. Clarify Intentions. Foster Humility and Extend Grace.

These are a few practices that you have probably heard of. It was a in a workshop sponsored by the Association for UU Music Ministries that I gathered with nearly 70 UU musicians and clergy to develop tools to care for ourselves, while at the same time striving to hold the trauma and grief of our communities over the past year and years.

Our presenter was an expert in identification and processing of individual and group trauma. As she described characteristics of overwhelm and trauma, I saw some of the ways that constant stressors during the pandemic have impacted my behaviors. Things like impulse control (I've had more ice cream than normal during patches of the pandemic) and some times of disheartened and dispirited emotions. Beyond my own experience, it was pretty visible - simply by observing some of the nation's discourse - to witness examples of anger and cynicism, hyper-vigilance, feeling helpless, and entire populations being pulled towards confirmation bias and away from critical thinking.

Wow. What a framework to interpret the complex interplay between the stressors and behaviors - how things like pandemic, racial tension, global climate, family conflict, and raising kids in such a time as this, can easily lead to fight/flight responses, dissociative moments, and diminished creativity. For me, this workshop wasn't exactly the first time that I had experienced this body of knowledge, but it was very timely to hear these aspects named, with the opportunity to think about trauma and response in relation to our congregational life. 

As Jefferson Unitarian Church begins to come back together in various ways, can we imagine that each of us has had various kinds of experiences during our time apart? Some are returning with chronic exhaustion and a saturated nervous system. Some with physical ailments, depression, anxiety, some with loneliness. To whatever extent each of us is feeling any of these things personally, as a community it can be helpful to cultivate first an awareness that those among us move with so many kinds of lived experiences. Second, we can be in a practice of antidotes, which are probably things you know.

The antidotes offered from the Trauma Stewardship Institute workshop include the questions "How can I refrain from causing harm?" and "How can I contribute meaningfully?" "Be aware of decision fatigue and cognitive overload." "Experience the feeling of being transported or having a larger perspective by admiring art or going outside." 

Maybe one of the most helpful antidotes for our community as a group is "Foster Humility and Extend Grace." When listening to one of our beloved JUCers who is saying something that is triggering or challenging, how about - for this time being - extending a little extra grace. We don't have to agree with one another - this is a given - but there may be a feeling of disappointment (with one or another's vaccination status, one's take on exactly how we should be together as a community, masks vs no masks). There are plenty of potential triggers. Without having to give up our own position or convictions, it is at the same time possible to keep in mind all that our companions have been experiencing - let's call it trauma - and extend grace to one another for these tender days of reunion.

September Theme: We Are A People Embracing Possibility
Of all our themes this year, Embracing Possibility is arguably most central to our faith. It has distinguished Unitarian Universalists from the start. Historically, when others saw depravity and sin at the core of human identity, we saw potential. When many were preaching that this world was fallen, we fell in love with the possibility of heaven on earth. Theologically, you might say we were the people who believed that God hadn't given up on us and so we shouldn't give up on each other or this world. Psychologically, it's led to us being a people of "why not?" Why not give people another chance? Why not fight what seems like a losing battle? Why not risk a little failure? 

So that's our religion. But what about us personally? How open have you been recently to "Why not?" How's your faith in possibility doing? As we honor our religion's faith in what's possible, we need to allow space for the reality that trusting possibility isn't so easy for many of us. Here's how one Soul Matters member puts the challenge: 

"When I think of possibility, I think of all the people and opportunities we close the door on. Such as: 'I will never see eye to eye with my sister.' 'I couldn't possibly leave this job to start my own business' 'I will never have close friends like I had where I used to live.' 'I will never really make a difference, so why bother?'" 

We tell ourselves so many small stories about who we and others are. So many tiny tales of what the world could be. Part of it has to do with real life defeats. But often a bigger part of it is about imagined fear and protecting ourselves. There's comfort in convincing yourself that the effort is hopeless; that way you don't have to try and risk failure, hurt or disappointment, yet again. 

All of which is to say that maybe Embracing Possibility has more to do with being a people of vulnerability and courage than we've thought. The work isn't just about believing in possibility. It's about being willing to endure a few wounds along the way. It can hurt to be hopeful. 

So maybe the question this month isn't "Are you ready to lean into possibility?" but "Who's beside you and who are you bringing along?" "Who have you gathered to patch and pick you up when the path gets bumpy?" Whose faith can you lean on when yours grows dim? After all, no one makes it down the road of possibility alone. And perhaps that's the real secret: remembering that "Why not?" is something we all have to say and sing together. It's not a solo act. For it to sink in - and better yet take flight - it needs to be at least a duet. Of course a quartet is even better. And just imagine what we might pull off if we can gather a choir, all singing the tune of "Why not?!" at the top of our lungs!
JUC CAN: Organizing for Mobile Home Resident Rights
Nancy von Burske

Did you know that about 8% of housing units in the city of Golden are mobile homes? Fifty-two percent of mobile home lots in Jefferson County are in the Golden area. The Golden Terrace Mobile Home Park in Golden has 654 lots. 
 
Manufactured housing (mobile homes) is the largest unsubsidized source of affordable housing and provides homes to seniors on fixed incomes, young families, immigrants, those in need of low-cost housing, people with disabilities, and veterans. JUC Community Action Network (CAN) wants help to residents keep their homes and preserve existing housing.

JUC CAN with Together Colorado and other partners received a 2-year grant from Community First Foundation to educate residents in Jefferson County Mobile Home Parks about their rights as mobile home owners. As a result of flyer distribution, one-to-one conversations, and monthly webinars, some of the residents are now taking actions to organize their community. Monthly Zoom webinars began in March and topics have centered around the rights of mobile home owners that reflect the recent passage of laws. A tenant rights attorney has participated in the webinars, both presenting information about resident rights and answering questions. 

In July, residents at Golden Terrace organized a community meeting in which 40 people attended, along with 4 CAN members. During the meeting residents discussed the top 4 issues that they have complaints about and want to work on resolving. A Resident Leadership Council was formed that will meet bi-monthly and report out to the monthly resident meeting. 

As part of the CAN group, I have discovered that seemingly small actions, like flyering, conversations, and yes, Zoom meetings, can lead to whole community organizing! I encourage you to click here to hear from a Golden Terrace resident about her experiences living there.

For further information visit our webpage on the Colorado Coalition of Manufactured Home Owners website.
Interview with Guatemala Trip Leader, Lisa Bickford
The Guatemala Scholarship program, supported by JUC members, includes annual cultural exchange visits to Rabinal that have strengthened the personal relationships between our congregation and the Mayan community. All of the students in the scholarship program come from families impacted by the massacres in Guatemala during the 1980's. Beginning in 2015 Lisa Bickford has been a member of five trips, first as translator and then as trip leader and translator. Two of those trips were Teen/Family trips. Lisa's perspective as a repeat visitor is unique. In early July we sat down over Zoom for a wide-ranging interview during which she shared both the ways that she has been deeply affected and her insights about the cultural exchange experience for everyone involved. 

Selections from that interview follow:

Question: How did you get involved with this program? 

Lisa: I grew up in Paraguay and moved to the U.S. when I was 11 years old... So, I have felt an affinity for Latin American countries ever since. I had done some translation for community programs, but not much. I had wanted to be more involved. Phyllis Morales needed another translator for the 2015 trip and approached me at church. I was between jobs, and said I couldn't afford it. My trip costs were paid for with a grant. The trip changed me and touched me; I have been back every year since. I have been able to pay for my trip since then. I went with a 'do good' approach. I didn't know anything about the program, didn't know that we were involved in Guatemala until the trip preparation by Phyllis, which she dis very deeply; more so than I do myself. That was my first understanding. When I got down there and met the people, I formed connections that are very meaningful and continue to this day.

Question: To follow up on that, what were your impressions when you got there? You had had the orientation, but then you were there? 

Lisa: As far as the orientation, that was the big picture. That was not unknown to me having grown up in South America; that governments did these things. Although I had been safe from the government in Paraguay, I was aware of the government security presence, guys on street corners with submachine guns; aware that it was different for other people. I knew I was protected by my embassy card, but aware that classmates were afraid of what the government might do. In Guatemala what was different was that the people we talked to were the targets. Getting to know people whose lives had been formed and affected by genocide, by horrible events, who are strong, friendly and loving was a powerful experience. The fact that this community was almost wiped out. They have a lost  generation....and they are determined to come back strong. They create projects in lots of different ways to do that. They don't just look for one thing. They look for all the things that they can do to better their community. They are an amazing people. They inspire me.

Question: The orientation was about the background and history of the community, but how does the trip program help you explain the context to the people in your group once you get down there?

Lisa: At first, I thought that Phyllis over-prepared people. I thought that her reading list was excessive. But the first year I went without her and without her reading list, people asked some...clueless questions. I came to understand the reason for her reading list. That there was...that I had an assumption...that people have a baseline knowledge of governments around the world not being fair, not being democracies, of being corrupt.  And there were some "why don' t you just" kinds of questions that sort of minimized the Mayan experience, the context of genocide (for example, "Why don't you just collaborate?").  That made me go back and appreciate Phyllis' reading list and to try and prepare people a little better than I did the first year that I was responsible for. 

I think you can go down and get a lot out of the trip at whatever level knowledge of history that you have. We do cover the immediate history and the details that are needed. But it is also very important to go on this trip with an open mind; if it were 'that easy'...if there was anything they could just do, they would have done it.

Sometimes I find myself saying, "Let me answer that when we get back to the hotel," when we are in the sharing circle; with an American perspective. And sometimes I will go ahead and translate the question, paraphrase so it's less dismissive, but have them get the local flavor in the response to the question. 

Question: What has been most challenging as a translator on these trips?

Lisa: I'd been five years in a row, then Covid hit. I translated the stories of the massacres every year for five years. And they are told differently; different people tell them in different ways. So, each year we visit a different student's family and so each year their view of the massacre is different. But they all saw the massacre. I've actually translated the phrase, "the soldier dashed the baby's head against the rocks" and that moment was the hardest moment, and the woman who was telling the story had watched her sister; her grandmother had grabbed her and taken her to the woods and the soldiers took her mother and her baby sister still in arms so she saw from the woods. She saw the soldiers kill her mother and her baby sister and she told that story and she is doing her damnedest to get her daughter to school. And she can't help her daughter with schoolwork because she can't read because she grew up in the forest. She can do a lot of things I can't; she can weave, she can do lots of Mayan traditional things that I can't do, but she doesn't have those school skills to help her daughter in school. And she is so grateful to us and she talks more about her gratitude for what we are doing for her daughter than she does about the tragedy. But they'll tell the stories of the tragedies. And the way they tell them there is a certain, "yeah, that's just how life was then."

Sometimes when I hear a new person's story it takes me a minute. I have to swallow the ball of tears that comes to my throat. Sometimes I have to say something personally to them in Spanish...I'm so sorry, before I go on. I have to be human in the moment. And then finding the words to repeat the story to our group of people who are there to learn about their experience. That can be both the most difficult part and the most rewarding part. It's difficult because the images don't leave my head, but it's rewarding because these people share this part of themselves. They open themselves up, their houses, their lives up to us for us to see their experience out of gratitude for what we are doing to make their children's experience better and that's where the reward comes in. 

Question:  When it comes down to it, the biggest tension in terms of relationship between our two communities is that it is difficult for people from here to back off from having answers. 

Lisa: Part of my preparation during orientation for the group is: If you think, "oh, you should do X," they probably already have. They are not waiting for anyone to save them. They are saving themselves with all the resources they can find. We have to realize that. They are solving their own problems with money from outsiders. They don't want the American solution, they want a Mayan solution, right? They don't want to lose their culture; they don't want to lose their way of life to get the money. But that's it...they'll take help, but they don't need a white savior. I think once people go, they back off. Maybe I'm wrong, but... 

Question: How do you think the Mayan feel about JUC's involvement? 

Lisa: One of the things is that from ADIVIMA's perspective, we are only one of their Sponsors. With the Arlington UU church, we are the only sponsors of the scholarship program, but that is only one of the seven things that ADIVIMA does. They are so much more than the scholarship program. On the one hand we sometimes think that we are more to them than we are because we only pay attention to the scholarship program, but on the flip side, we are the reason that this generation is getting educated past 6th grade. And we are the reason that these kids have a hope. The country has incredibly high unemployment so it's not a guarantee, but they have the skills to be able to compete in the job market; instead of not having any hope other than to marry at 13 and have multi-generational poverty. We are helping them break that cycle. And they are grateful. They are very grateful. They are so grateful that it makes us uncomfortable. We don't like to hear it a lot of the time. It's those SKYPE sessions, it's like "Oh, how do we make this about not thanking us?" But I have never gotten the sense that the gratitude burdens them.  Sometimes someone does something for you and you're grateful, but a little resentful. I have never gotten that sense. Sometimes some of the kids don't have the perspective and think well, "if you can do this, can you take me to the states, too?" They expect more, but that's immaturity. One of the reasons that we are very strict about how to give money and presents when we go is to try to short circuit that request for personal favors from the students and keep it all going through the institutions.

Question: What about the trips going forward. Do you see this as the best way to create relationships or how do you see it? What changes do you see?   

Lisa: The trips have been incredibly effective; the slow pace helps that. They are transformative for those who go, but few can go because the size of the ADIVIMA van limits the number to 10 in addition to the translators. Perhaps we can find ways to use zoom events to expand the number of people who can be involved in a trip. Maybe one of the silver linings of COVID is that we have learned how to do things better remotely. 

Thank you, Lisa, for so generously sharing your perspective with us. 

COVID permitting, Lisa will be leading a trip to Rabinal in the Fall of 2022. To find out more about the trips and the Guatemala Scholarship Program at JUC, visit the JUC UUSC webpage.