Welcome to BUUF's "Perspectives"
A new monthly offering
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The purpose of Perspectives is to share our collective stories of personal transformation; broadening the regular 'news feed' of BUUF information.
Each month, we will share personal stories from members and friends of our fellowship, stories of spiritual growth, transformation,
challenges met, change, awakening -
in other words, story-telling to the larger BUUF community
that strengthens our connections.
A Perspectives column by a BUUF member or friend might be seen as answering Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s challenge:
“It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.”
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Barbara Alexander
"Voyage of Discovery"
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Living alone might seem like a curse for some folks, but I really like it! I’m a late bloomer, you see. Most of my “productive years” were caught up with work, marriage, two batches of children, and later, caregiving. It’s a good thing I’ve lived to almost ninety, because now I have a little more time and seem to learn something new about myself almost every day. When I was young, people would say “Oh, you look and sound just like your Mom!” Or “You’re going to be a doctor, like your Dad.” I didn’t figure out that I was my mom’s voice and face grafted onto my dad’s body until I was in my 70’s! It’s odd that I never figured that out before, because I do have his personality.
I’m an optimistic person; I like meeting people and really do believe that most people are inherently good and can choose to be kind. I’m loyal to my friends, love to laugh, and am insatiably curious. I’d give this away to everyone if I could, because of the fun. I want to know more about everything! I got interested in myself a little bit in middle age, read books, attended workshops and journaled, wondering what I spiritually believed and what occupation I might have done for a living if I’d had a chance for ‘do overs.’ It turns out I believe there’s a life force in ALL living things, I CAN make art, and I should have majored in science! However, I really began to delve into who else I was after I was a Senior Citizen. I actually discovered at age 83 that I could join Weight Watchers again, lose more than 50 pounds, get to goal weight, and keep it there! I don’t guess I need to tell you what that did for my yearly test results at the doctor’s office, general health, and outlook on life. Someone asked me why it worked this time and not before, and I said “I don’t know, but I think this time I just knew I could do it, and before maybe I just thought I could.”
Through a series of recent hair-raising, life-or-death experiences I recognized that (1) I usually don’t panic, and (2) I will figure out how to save myself. I saw clearly that thinking I can get out of a really nasty situation is one thing, and knowing I will be able to is another. Knowing I could rely on myself to solve my problems was empowering: it meant I could even work on older, persistent issues.
At 88, I learned that I loved to see my living spaces more ordered: pristine, cleared-out corners—and that I had white baseboards!! WHO KNEW? I didn’t, because there were stacks of boxes, collections, and piles of papers everywhere. Ask anyone who’s been in my house, “How bad was it?” and they would say, “It was sooo bad that in one room, you had to walk sideways to get to a chair!” (I was overwhelmed and just hadn’t figured out how to get rid of the stuff yet.) Once I got going on this new discovery, I felt I could keep it up until all the floors were cleared of boxes and piles. Wow! I was back in control of the piles of stuff, my life, and downsizing. What that did for my self-confidence was amazing. I just had to trust in myself to solve my problems. This whole process of finding myself has been so rewarding that I can’t wait to make the next discovery!
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I have been surprised at the power of emotional, autobiographical storytelling. Emotional, autobiographical storytelling means writing about events and people that have mattered to you in your own life – not just describing the facts of your lives. It is not just the telling or writing it down, but knowing that what you write will be read by others and the hope that by sharing in a public way, someone else might be inspired or helped by your story. People who have found their voice, shared their story, and reaffirmed their values often find a sense of peace and a hopefulness that they did not have before. Resilience is strengthened by recognizing that we are all experts in our own lives and we all have something to share with others.” – Sharon Hamby, Ph.D.
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What this column is not:
- A place for political or social advocacy.
There are many other venues within BUUF for those activities.
- Intellectual or philosophical inquiries,
unless they are supportive of your story.
- The focus should be on the personal, the emotional, the transformative.
How do I submit a story?
All submissions will be reviewed by editors Patricia Heeb and Ahley Newman
to ensure they reflect the purpose and theme of this column.
The editors reserve the right to edit pieces for length and clarity.
Column length: 600-700 words
Perspectives will appear once a month.
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Past Columns
(from April 2021)
(from May 2021)
(from June 2021)
(from July 2021
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