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James Tobin, Ph.D.
15615 Alton Parkway | Suite 450
Irvine, CA 92618
949-338-4388
www.jamestobinphd.com
- Psychotherapy
- Couples
- Parent Guidance
- Buddhist Psychology | Mindfulness
- Executive Coaching
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- Please note that my office location has changed; my new office address is: 15615 Alton Parkway | Suite 450 | Irvine, CA 92618
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II. Blog Articles and Podcast Recordings |
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IV. Virtual Seminars on Saturday, February 20, 2021* |
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The Men's Group Seminar: Humility
We are living in an "era of self-promotion," consistently bombarded with messages from a cultural landscape of narcissism emphasizing "me-first" thinking and "a competitive reflex." The construct of humility, formerly limited to religious and philosophical forums, is now gaining attention in contemporary science -- mainly because, in my view, it represents perhaps the most virile antidote to narcissism. Investigators have actually identified a personality trait, "hypo-egoic nonentitlement," that differentiates humble from non-humble people. Those persons who possess this trait do not feel as if their accomplishments and abilities warrant any special treatment or make them any more important than others. In addition, research suggests that humble individuals demonstrate more accurate and realistic appraisals of their own strengths and limitations than do non-humble persons. Moreover, humility is not related to a lack of assertiveness or poor boundaries, as stereotypical notions of the construct suggest. Rather, humility refers to an "emotional neutrality" and an egalitarian attitude in which one carries the awareness of his/her place within a complex and interrelated world. In this way, humility dis-embeds a person from the narcissistic dilemma of consistently longing for positive appraisals from others. In the next virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar on Saturday, February 20, 2021 (10:15 AM to 11:30 AM), we will explore the phenomenon of humility and its relationship to narcissism.
To register for this upcoming virtual seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Relationship Group Seminar: The Role of Shame in Relationships
Shame refers to a complex set of interrelated emotional experiences leading one to feel inadequate or entirely unlovable. What has been termed the "self-conscious emotions," the core components of shame are embarrassment and guilt. Chronic negative self-evaluation can intensify to an extreme state of self-disgust and self-loathing. A consistent sense of unworthiness is often associated with strivings to be perfect and the inevitable failure of such attempts. Inherent in the experience of shame is a hidden, concealed quality of the self that negatively impacts one's relationship both with oneself and others. Shame is "disintegrating (because) you lose touch with all the other parts of yourself, and you also feel disconnected from everyone else." The causes of shame appear to originate in the interpersonal sphere. Experts suggest that childhood experiences of disapproval from significant others, often parental figures, are especially traumatic because the rejection is linked not to an action, but a characteristic, that renders the person undeserving of love. Psychoanalytically-inclined developmental researchers argue that shame emerges when the child reaches for care from another and is shunned. Due to the failure of, and humiliation resulting from, these relational attempts, the shamed person often pursues "strategies of disconnection" as a means of protection from further disappointment. These historical wounds find their way into the dynamics of relationships in adulthood, with men and women often experiencing distinct qualities of shame based on cultural influences and gender stereotypes, i.e., male shame is linked to a sense of weakness or failure while fears of being "good enough" impact women. In the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, February 20, 2021 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will explore the role of shame in intimate relationships and consider the most effective ways for managing this insidious experience of self and others.
To register for this upcoming virtual seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group
This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others. Our next virtual group session will be held on Saturday, February 20, 2021 (1:15 to 2:30 PM). The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
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* Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar and/or the Relationship Group Seminar on February 20, 2021, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com on or before Thursday, February 18, 2021. The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminars. These seminars consist of a didactic component followed by group discussion. Please note that the Men's Group Seminar and the Relationship Group Seminar are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.
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