Have you ever had a conversation when you just can't agree on anything? You just do not seem to connect. It is sunny outside, but your friend is pointing out that it will rain tomorrow. Or - your friends keep talking about how good your golf shot was, but you know it is "just one" and there are many more to come. Is it possible that some people see white dots on a black background and some see black field with missing white dots? Yes!
When some of us look at the word, we see what things have in common. We see what’s alike, what’s there, what is working. We “agree” with the other person, start our sentences with “yes”. We are “matchers”.
The other group, mis-matchers, see what is different. One type looks at the world and sees how things are different and the other kind sees differences with exceptions. If we fit into this group, we see what is different first and then add things that are in common. We start our sentence with “yes … but”.
As human beings, we tend to be creatures of habit. This doesn’t just apply to our behaviors, it also applies to our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes. We have a ‘default’ matching or mismatching mindset.
Why is it important?
Knowing your tendency is important. Knowing how it serves you is even more important.
Personally. I know that I tend to be a mismatcher and this actually serves me well in many areas. People come to me for guidance in making life-altering decisions. They rely on me seeing things clearly, finding blind spots - challenges and opportunities. However, when I am dealing with a true matcher and don't notice my mismatching, I can come across as opposing to his/her idea, which might not be my intention.
