The Kayaking Moment of Truth
“Loving ourselves, why is this so hard?”
Here’s a great question a good friend asked this week. I found myself thinking about it after a “Kayaking Moment of Truth.” The moment came when we returned a kayak that we had rented. I knew from previous experiences that it is not easy to climb out of the kayak onto the floating dock. The young guys on the dock offered to help me make this maneuver because it was obvious my hips don’t like this move. They were kind to this “old lady” and gave knowing looks to each other.
My movements were far from graceful, so I found myself feeling embarrassed and shame rose to the surface. On the way home, I quickly moved to judging myself thinking I should be in better shape. Then a bit later, I moved to justifying or comparing myself to others in this situation. Thankfully I was able to move out of the familiar waters of tedious thought to accept that this is where I am now.
I’m continually learning how to navigate the swirling currents of the way my mind likes to react to uncomfortable situations. Noticing my thoughts and emotions helps me find a way to better accept myself—I can be more loving. Exploring my reactions and responses is especially important during tumultuous times. With God’s help, I find that when I am more kind and accepting of who I am, I’m more loving and accepting of others.
As disciples, we know there’s always an opportunity to grow and become more of who God seeks us to be. Together, we look for new possibilities for coming together and learning from each other. We all hope to be part of creating a better world that’s more loving, more like the world God’s desires. So where do we begin?
Our journey is to recommit ourselves each day to seek God's presence in us and all around us, the Divine love that defines us. Christ continually shows us that the world is transformed by looking in our own hearts for how God is at work forming us. We begin again with this soul work of learning to love ourselves as Christ loves us, so that we can more fully love others. Christ reminds us that this is the work we’re meant to do together. Abiding in God’s love, we try to stay present in this sacrament of now. Peace be with you.
The Rev. Kathy Guin
