To honor Self-Harm Awareness Month, we’d like to provide some helpful tips.
But first, some sobering statistics:
- Almost two million Americans engage in self-harm each year
- About 17% of people will harm themselves during their lifetime
Self-harm, also known as self-injury, is defined as hurting yourself on purpose. It can take many forms -- from cutting your skin with a sharp object to burning yourself with a cigarette to hitting yourself to pulling out your hair.
There are a few myths about self-harm: It’s about getting attention and it’s a prelude to suicide.
Contrary to popular belief, people who self harm consider it private and usually try to keep it a secret. That may be why they harm themselves on parts of their bodies that are not so visible.
And even though some people who harm themselves are suicidal, many do it as a way to release painful emotions, often stemming from abuse, neglect or traumatic experiences. Or they do it to feel something physically, as they sometimes describe feeling “numb” or “dead”.
So, what can we do to help those who are struggling?
The best thing is to simply address the problem. Ask about it and then listen.
Self-harm is a sign of emotional distress. We all want to be seen and heard. When we acknowledge others’ acts of self-harm, we’re making space for them to talk about their difficult thoughts and feelings.
It should be done in a concerned but non-judgmental way. Here's an example: “I noticed you’ve got some marks on your arm. Can you tell me about it.” Statements like this may be the first time someone feels seen. And it may be the initial step toward healing and recovery.
Second, we can suggest speaking to a therapist, someone trained to listen attentively and compassionately, who can also teach healthier coping skills.
Other good resources include a psychiatrist for a medication evaluation, group therapy and a crisis hotline. (Text CONNECT 741741 to speak to someone on the national crisis hotline, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)
Finally, it’s helpful to check in regularly with that person, even after the self harm has stopped or the person has started treatment. Beyond signaling that you're an ongoing source of comfort and support, it expresses an important understanding: while the crisis may be over, the pain may endure.
