Who’s Praying?
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying… But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’”
Luke 18:10-13
Brennan Manning, in his book “Abba’s Child,” talks about our inner ‘Pharisee’ and our ‘Child.’ There’s the part of us—the Pharisee—that knows how to pray, go to church, say we’re sorry (even if we’re not), and smile brightly and say “God has a plan!” even when our lives are falling apart and our insides feel like molten lava. It’s the part of us that knows how to function effectively and fluently in a complex and busy world.
There’s also the Child. That part of us can be a screaming wreck and have a toddler tantrum over not getting our way. It’s the part of you that appears in moments where something insignificant doesn’t go your way and your response is totally hijacked by your (disproportionate) emotions. Maybe you have a busy day and everything goes wrong and runs late, perhaps your spouse did that little thing that annoys you again, or maybe your plans for a day of sport or leisure gets interrupted by a family emergency. The Child takes over and we just want what we want, when we want it, all on our terms.
Now let me ask you a question: who prays when you pray?
When you’re in church on a Sunday, sitting down to pray with your morning coffee or uttering hastily-said words of prayer at school drop-off, who prays? Is it your Pharisee—or the part of you trying to be that role more believably? Is it you ticking off prayer on your spiritual “to-do” list because you know you should pray? Do you pray and say how thankful you are that you are not like X, Y or Z? Do you pray desperately that you might finally be able to be A, B or C?
Or when you pray, is it your Child praying—the part of you that is feeling lonely or ignored, broken or jealous? When you pray, is it you naming your irrational fears and questions that don’t make sense but need a voice? Are you coming to God as a messy child in need of his/her Heavenly Father?
Prayer is not for our inner Pharisee—it’s for our Child, for the part of us hurting and wounded, selfish and destructive. It’s space to meet with the God who loves us and meets with us as we really are. That’s who Jesus loves and that’s from whom He wants to hear. So who’s praying your prayers today?
