Hockey is my favorite sport. It's fast, intense, takes incredible skill and requires a team effort. In between periods, players head to the locker room. What happens there? They PAUSE. The players reflect - what just happened, what worked, what didn’t and they re-prioritize. They recharge - change shirts, re-tape, hydrate. They reignite – fire up to go back on the ice. It's a time-limited reset.

In our daily lives, most of us are habitually rushing from one thing to another, often missing out on what is actually happening. We focus on what's next on our endless to-do list. We execute on tasks but aren't necessarily present with them or the people involved. We're there, but not really 'there'. Our 24/7 culture constantly draws us in to more not less. More scrolling, more notifications, more slacks & emails. Sometimes it's along the lines of more worrying, ruminating, procrastinating or simply not being able to get out of our own way. Whatever is going on, without the ability to pause, we can hit overwhelm in record speed.

We need to create our own "in between periods". In other words, we need to Get Off the Ice. It might be as quick as 3-7 seconds, the equivalent of a breath or two. Or 15 minutes like in a hockey game. The idea here is to pause, not come to a grinding halt. It’s a space that allows us to interrupt our automatic reactions to life's events and the stories we construct from those reactions.

Why Pause?

To center: Reground & stabilize

To reflect & assess: What is actually going on?

To evaluate: Is my approach working?

To reset: What do I need right now?

To buffer: Prevent impulsive statements & actions that may not easily be undone

To re-direct: What's the best next step? What matters most?

To keep going: What, if I had a little more of would help?

To slow down: Slowing down can improve focus

To let go: If we are triggered, can we soften and loosen its grip?

To create space: Release thoughts, emotions & decompress

To see: Is No Action the action that is needed?

To notice: The journey, not just the outcome

To appreciate: Notice the moment, the person, the thing

To celebrate: Savor and take in the good

When we pause, we increase the quality of our energy and are better able to redirect and continue to move in the direction we want to be going.

Create Tripwires

Recognize when you are needing a pause. Often when we look back at a situation, it's easy to see, "Yeah, would have been good to pause." Maybe it's when:

You want to interrupt. You want to defend. Your tone is changing. You are tired. You're avoiding. You're bored, confused or blank. You feel anxious, tense or frustrated in your body. You need perspective. Something big (good or bad) is happening.

The Quick Pause

We're talking a few seconds up to a minute. Alone or combined, these are proven release mechanisms to trigger our parasympathetic system.

• Release your hands
• Give a long exhale
• Flutter your lips (think horse lips)
• Breathe evenly in and out for 3 breaths
• Release your jaw (rest your tongue on the roof of your mouth or just behind your front teeth)
• Concentrate on feeling your feet on the ground
• Look out the window & up at the sky
• Smile
• Rest your hand over your heart
• Say something kind to yourself

With practice, quick pauses can become natural habits that naturally work for us.

The Locker Room Pause

You have 10-15 minutes. Decide. What kind of pause do I need? Choose actions that match your need. Whatever that may be, I highly recommend starting with your body - breathe, move or ground yourself to free up your mind.

A few ideas out of the million to try:

To Center, Reset, Buffer, Slow Down, Let Go or Create Space

• Put your phone away
• Close your computer
• Drink some water
• Go outside
• Move your body: walk, stretch, do a yoga pose
• Mindfully eat something
• Take a power nap or lay down, close your eyes & rest
• Meditate
• Sit in silence
• Play some music
• Color
• Work on a puzzle
• Play a game (wordle, video, card)

To Reflect, Assess, Evaluate, Re-direct

• Jot your thoughts, feelings & ideas down

Answer a question:

• What is happening?
• What do I need right now?
• What is working & not working about this approach?
• What matters most?
• What is the simplest next step?
• What else could this mean?
• Will this matter tomorrow? Next week? A year from now?
• What is possible?

Practice

• Letting go
• Being with what is
• Saying what you want to say
• Imagining how it will feel if it all works out

To Appreciate, Notice, and Celebrate

• Write a thank you
• Send a text
• Focus on an object and notice all the details
• Zoom out and see the big picture & trajectory
• Relive the positive experience
• Share the good news

Reflect on the impact your pause provides. Taking note of the effect will encourage you to implement it more often.

Remember, your Pause is what you need it to be. Make room for it. Play with it. Let it do its magic!