Embracing Silence
A topic that came up for me recently was this idea of silence. If we take a moment to reflect on the benefits of allowing for silence during coaching conversations, we can acknowledge that it allows time and space for the coachee to process their thinking and formulate their own ideas. However, for many of us, silence causes a great deal of discomfort.
I’d like you to take some time to explore your comfort level with silence. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being excruciatingly uncomfortable and 10 being extremely comfortable, what is your comfort level with silence? I invite you to take a moment to pause and land on an actual number. FYI, if you skipped that part, it might give you a clue into your comfort level with silence. 😊 Now that you have that number in mind, how does that impact your ability to allow space for someone you may be coaching?
Social scientist Ty Tashiro connects this awkwardness with silence to social and cultural norms. Americans in general, tend to have a bias towards extroversion and an expectation of filling a conversation with words. Our brain’s amygdala, which is responsible for responding to threats, tends to set off an alarm when a break in the dialogue lasts longer than we think it should.
So, what can we do to increase our comfort with silence? Experts suggest that we can train our brains to improve our ease with silence. A couple of suggestions are to drive without the radio on, take a walk in nature without electronics along, or read a book. Take note in your next conversation the amount of talking you’re doing. With practice you can learn to listen more and appreciate extended periods of silence.
Let us know how it goes.
Submitted by,
The Pennsylvania Key
We’re taking a short break from the newsletter, but will be back in the fall. Please use this time to seek out opportunities and resources that fit your developmental goals. We’d love for you to share any gems you’ve discovered while on your coaching journey, as well as any suggestions for newsletter topics. Until then…
Rasheeda and Barb