Fall 2020 Quarterly Newsletter
(320) 258-7611 www.getfullyengaged.com
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Note: Due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, in line with recommendations from the CDC and U.S. government, the Diocese of St. Cloud is implementing a temporary telecommuting policy.
During this time of stay-at-home orders, our staff will be working from home to maintain social distancing and help stop the spread of this virus. The core of our work will be maintained so that we can continue to carry out our mission. We are being allowed to come in to fill orders twice a week (Monday and Thursday). Please know we will be answering your voice mails and emails from home during this time. We ask for your patience as we transition with this temporary change.
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PLEASE SHARE THIS NEWSLETTER WITH YOUR MENTOR COUPLES.
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Fully Engaged is committed to serving parishes and the facilitators in their mission to provide quality marriage preparation and formation for the engaged couples they minister to. This is the first of a quarterly newsletter to enhance this ministry.
Our goal is to share tips, tools, new materials, and current articles/media on marriage that will aid Fully Engaged Facilitators in their work. Please share this with the other mentors in your parish. You may also wish to share the email addresses of mentor couples with us so they can receive future editions directly. Send email addresses to Chris Codden at ccodden@gw.stcdio.org. |
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79. It is acceptable to use pornography in marriage. (No)
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130. One or both of us use pornography. (No)
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“Pornography…offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other…It immerses all who are involved into a fantasy world. It is a grave offense.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2354)
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Pornography can be a sensitive topic to approach, even in our hyper-sexed world. While it may be sensitive, it is vital that is openly discussed in forming couple's for the bonds of marriage as it devalues the dignity of human person. Pornography is a cancer that corrupts the sanctity of the Sacrament of Marriage and can never be good in a relationship. Challenging a couple to chastity includes eliminating the use of pornography. |
From the Couple’s Workbook, page 20: “PORNOGRAPHY: Sexual intimacy and the pleasure that derives from it are gifts from God and should remain personal and private, enjoyed within the sacred bond of marriage alone. Such intimacy should not be put on display or be watched by any other person, even if that person is one’s own spouse. Nor should the human body be unveiled or treated in a way that objectifies it sexually and reduces it to an erotic stimulant. Jesus is clear in his teaching that sexual immorality is not only a matter of one’s actions but also a matter of one’s heart: ‘You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart’ (Mt 5:27-28) Regardless of the relationship between the parties, looking at another person with lust—as only a sexual object to enjoy, control, and use—is a sin. It is a disordered view of the person, because it is ordered toward use, as of a thing, rather than love, which pertains to persons. This is why pornography can never be justified, even within marriage.” Create in Me a Clean Heart, U.S. Bishops, November 2015
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Excerpts from the USCCB "Clean Heat" series: Pornography's Effects on Marriage and Hope for Married Couples
Many Good People Struggle
One of the biggest lies that Satan has led many Catholic couples to believe is that they are alone in their struggles with pornography. People may be surprised to learn that many good Catholics and Christians are struggling with this issue. A Barna Survey on US porn use indicated that 37 percent of Christian men and 7 percent of Christian women used porn several times a week or more, and 64 percent of Christian men and 15 percent of Christian women used porn once a month or more.1 Indeed, as a couple, we have met many good men, women, teachers, clergy, youth ministers, and others who have struggled with pornography.
Brain Science of Pornography
It is important for people to understand that porn impairs the brain, whether it is used sporadically or multiple times per week. As the bishops state in Create in Me a Clean Heart, "Viewing pornography, usually combined with masturbation, directly affects the brain's reward pathways and has been noted to have a similar effect on the brain as cocaine does on a person with a drug addiction or as alcohol on a person with an alcohol addiction" (page 15). Pornography is never harmless.
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"As pastors, we frequently see the pain that results from a pornography habit. Marriages that are injured or even broken by a spouse's pornography use, which some divorce lawyers report as a factor in over half of their cases, have a ripple effect on children." Letter from USCCB to Attorney General William Barr, April 30, 2020
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Patron Saint of Prostitutes & Day-laborers
Feast Day: January 11
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Porn Struggle: Jason Evert
Also watch second video: Solution to Porn - Jason Evert at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tko2lLiG72I
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As you might have noticed, the launch of our new website has been delayed slightly. Unexpected details have caused this, but we felt we wanted to provide for you the best service we possibly could and not prematurely unveil a site that still needs some tweaking. Our expected launch is October 1st.
The good news with this delay is we have also delayed our price increase. It will be implemented with the new launch.
Also, monthly billing has been held back until the new site is available. In October, you will begin receiving a monthly statement. The billing will be sent each month between the 7th and 10th of the month.
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Fully Engaged Training Opportunities |
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Fully Engaged Pre-Marital & Convalidation Inventories are offering New Facilitator Webinar Trainings via Go-To-Meeting. The following options are available:
· Saturday, October 17, 2020 - 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Central Time
· Monday evenings, November 9 and 16 – 6:30 pm to 9:00 pm Central Time
· Saturday, December 5, 2020 - 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Central Time
There is no cost for the webinar, but you will need a Pre-Marital Preview Package which is $45 plus shipping and handling. To register, call Jill at (320) 258-7611 or email her at jill.svihel@gw.stcdio.org. Please register at least 10 days prior to the class.
NOTE: All classes are offered in English. Spanish is available per request.
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The pre-recorded training videos are now available on a flash drive in an MP4 format in both English and Spanish. The cost is $25 each.
Coming soon... MP4 Fully Engaged training files will be available to purchase and download from our new website. Cost will be $25.
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Supplements now in package with Couple's Workbooks
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Effective July 1st, if you are having Fully Engaged mail the Couple’s Workbooks to the couple directly, it will now include the three supplements: Catholic Identity, Finance and Infertility & Adoption. |
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Increasing Marital Quality and Physical Health |
A 2018 study by researchers at the University of Southern California and the University of Virginia looked at gender differences in the evaluation of marital quality. Researchers' findings indicated that women's perceptions of marital quality depend more on expressed emotional support, shared power in relationships, collaborative problem-solving behaviors and her husband's perceived reliability. On the other hand, for men, the behavior that makes the difference in perceived marital quality is "support from their wives."
Further, a 2014 meta-analysis of 126 published empirical articles over the past 50 years investigated the association between marital relationship quality and physical health. Researchers found that greater marital quality led to better health and lower risk of premature mortality. From Abstinence Clearinghouse
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Staying Fully Engaged
For the past 2 years we have been researching and developing an inventory to be used for newly married couples. This program will include a Couple’s Workbook with catechetical information, reflection questions and formats for settings as individuals, with mentors, or for group discussion. The tool is to be used in those early years of marriage and could be used during baptismal preparation for young couples.
We are looking for 5 to 10 parishes willing to be part of the “field test”. This part of our development process will begin January 1st. If you or a parish in your diocese would like to be included in the field test, please contact Chris Codden at ccodden@gw.stcdio,org or call (320) 250-9778.
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Get Fully Engaged
Keep up-to-date on the latest marriage studies, tips & ideas to enhance marriage.
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Thank you for your commitment to forming couples for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. |
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Have questions, or ideas for up-coming newsletters, please let us know. You can contact Chris at ccodden@gw.stcdio.org or Jill at jill.svihel@gw.stcdio.org or call the office at (320) 258-7611. |
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Chris Codden – Director, Fully Engaged
320-250-9778
Jill Svihel – Coordinator, Fully Engaged
320-258-7611
Dawn Gohmann—Clerical Support, Fully Engaged
(320) 258-7617
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