COPE July 2020 Newsletter

More than 20 years helping parents and families living with the loss of a child

COPE Newsletter

July 2020

The Next Level of Healing is Helping

In this Newsletter:

President's Message

Parent Columns

Healing Tip of the Month

COPE's Camp Erin ® NYC

Volunteer Spotlight

Calendar of Events

July Birthdays and Passings

Special Foundations and Websites

COPE Supporters

ICYMI! - 2019 Annual Report

NEW! - Recurring Donation Opportunity #SayTheirNames

Quick Links:

COPE Book Corner

Parent & Sibling Writings

Camp Erin NYC

COPE Labyrinth

Amazon Smile Link

Email Us

President's Message

from Sandra R. Wolkoff, PhD., LCSW-R

Now what? For me, this pandemic started by the end of February. I had already bought a box of masks and one of gloves, both for me and my 90 year old mom. I found two bottles of hand sanitizer, again for each of us, and two of Clorox wipes. I had already spoken with my kids, one with a newborn, the other with a preschooler, and, fortunately, found that they were a step ahead of me. I had sounded the alarm for the safety of staff and families at COPE and Adam Rabinovitch, our executive director, and Michelle Graff, LCSW, our clinical director, flew into action...

To read the full President's Message click here .

PARENT COLUMNS

From Andrea Hanan

On June 23 my son Alex left this world at 2:53 am two years ago. I wrote a poem in memory of his first year passing and I vowed to write a poem every year to honor him. Here is a picture of Alex along with the poem I wrote.

Oh how I miss your beautiful smile

You’ve been gone for quite a while

On 7/23/18 you passed away

We’ll never forget the date, the. day

Still we are lost for time stands still

But we must go on it was your will

We just played a video of you when you thought

You had it, you got it, oh how you fought

You worked, you played, traveled, wouldn’t bend

And then took our help, for you knew twas the end

You lived a good life with Cancer and then

Cancer showed it ugly head again

The cancer had spread but you stayed strong

You accepted the blows as they came along

You realized then you had to depart

You left us with a heavy heart

God needed you for something new

That was the reason he asked for you

We talk to you often and cry a lot

Bob and I will cherish the son we

We count our blessings and try to live life

Although it, filled with lots of strife

We look at pictures and hear your voice

But we can’t hug you, we have no choice

Memories and signs come and go

You’ll live in our hearts for that we know

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We love you soooooooo much

Beloved Son, Protective brother, Dog Daddy to Lucy and Wonderful friend

The “Would Be” in My Life

By Esther Bogin

The Proud Mother of Heath

My son Heath would be 43 years old on July 6, 2020. He would have been awakened to the happy birthday singing and cheers from his two precious daughters. He would have received a hug, loving smile and true show of affection from his beautiful wife. He would have patiently listened to his mom’s singing happy birthday to him while accepting her wishes for good health, true joy and endless love. He would have received social media wishes from countless family members and friends - the recognition of a special person very loved and respected by so many. He would have been treated to a special dinner celebration; “drinks on me,” and many thoughtful gifts.

My son would be 43 years old on July 6, 2020. Reality reminds me that would be has only a surreal existence. My son passed on March 8, 2015, and in that moment I watched physical life leave his body only to emerge into the spiritual hope that he and I are still roaming together and are still connected. The hope that we will always be connected. The hope that the signs I receive are his ways of letting me know he is around as our relationship continues in a different form. These signs are hopefully real and are not mere coincidental happenings.

He would be 43 years old on July 6th, 2020. These words truly ring in my heart and soul as that special day approaches. That day was one of birth when Heath and I locked our arms and hearts as mother and son. That day was the first of many days when unconditional love was felt by mother and son. This reality preserves the treasured relationship I have with my son and continues to evolve it as I will always be the mother of a magnificent and special Heath Bogin, a blessing in my life.

Yes, my son would be 43 years old on July 6, 2020. Yes, I gratefully know this birth date is one that will last forever between mother and son, transforming the words would be into the eternal is!

HEALING TIP OF THE MONTH

Reestablishing a Sense of Control in the Midst of Chaos

Being quarantined is making the grief journey even harder. The control that many feel pre-loss, and now pre-COVID has become illusive in the midst of complicated thoughts and feelings. Uncertainty has ultimately become the norm. For those who are grieving personal loss, there is the added burden of navigating universal emotional heaviness. While you may feel like you are grasping for some sense of “normalcy” from the outside world, know that you can create this within you. No matter what is going on, you are always in control of how you react and choose to care for yourself. Allowing yourself the time and space to nurture and care for yourself is perhaps the gift of control we are all in search of.

Michelle Graff, LCSW

Clinical Director, COPE Foundation

To read more of Michelle's Healing Tips of the Month click here.

Stay connected - we are here for those who have lost loved ones during this troubling and tragic pandemic. Reach out and submit an intake form here .

COPE'S CAMP ERIN® NYC

Camp Erin NYC is taking a break...

Hi all!

Public service announcement:

Although things look a little different this summer, summer itself has not been canceled!

We can still sing, dance, read ,cook, EAT, draw, build, make our own clay, and most importantly, play with water toys that - when squeezed or pulled - will get someone wet! Check first - but I say go for it!

Have fun and be silly!

- Ann

For more information, please call Camp Erin NYC Director Ann Fuchs at 914.552-6919 or email her at afuchs@copefoundation.org

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COPE partners with Eluna to offer Camp Erin NYC, a FREE, weekend long grief support camp designed to help children and teenagers ages 6 – 17, who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling or someone close to them.

For information on Camp Erin NYC click here .

VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT

COPE is fortunate to have the volunteer time and talent this summer of our fantastic intern Samantha Goldstein.

Samantha is a rising junior at University of Michigan. In addition to her work and impact with COPE, she has an extensive background in private and public service, including as leadership for her sorority's Philanthropy Committee and as a Policy & Research Intern for Nassau County Legislator Joshua Lafazan.

Thank you Samantha!

Click here to learn more about our volunteer opportunities at COPE.

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

Click here for a full calendar of COPE events

JULY BIRTHDAYS & PASSINGS

Please click here to help us honor and remember the July birthdays and passings of loved ones who were taken from us before their time (go to the section titled July 2020).

SPECIAL FOUNDATIONS AND WEBSITES

Our children played such an important part in our lives and the lives of others. We dedicate this page to the foundations and organizations our dearly missed children have inspired.

Please contact COPE if you would like to add your own at: info@copefoundation.org

COPE SUPPORTERS

We thank our generous supporters for making donations during the month of June 2020.

Please click here to view donations, including those made in honor and memory of loved ones (go to the section titled June 2020).

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT - COPE 2019 ANNUAL REPORT

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic and its ripple effects, 2019 now seems like ages ago - but it's actually been only six months. As we reflect on last year - COPE's 20th supporting parents and families living with the loss of a child - we are proud and honored to thank all of you in the COPE community who have helped us along the way.

To our volunteers and valued donors - its your support that makes our work possible and sustainable. And a special thanks to our dedicated board and staff who have kept COPE going during this challenging time.

Please reflect with us and take some time to read our updated 2019 Annual Report .

COPE'S RECURRING DONATION OPPORTUNITY

COPE has proudly launched a new recurring gift option for our donors.

To join, just go to our donate page , pick your recurring gift amount and choose from one of the options (monthly, weekly, quarterly)... "Set it and forget it!"

Your support will ensure that we can be not only for the families that need us today but also those that will need us tomorrow.

The link to donate is at: http://bit.ly/SupportCOPE

Thank you now and always for your support.

Adam Rabinovitch

Executive Director

#SAYTHEIR NAMES

#SayTheirNames...

- Wanda Cooper-Jones is Ahmaud Arbery’s mother.

- Tamika Palmer is Breonna Taylor’s mother. Ju’Niyah Palmer is her sister.

- Philonise and Rodney Floyd are George Floyd’s brothers.

We all recognize they have in common that their loved ones were murdered because of their race.

And at COPE we also recognize that these family members are part of a club that no one wants to belong to – and we include them in our vision that no parent, sibling or child should have to grieve alone.

Adam Rabinovitch

Executive Director

Donate Now

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COPE Foundation

PO Box 1251

Melville, New York 11747

516-832-2673