Spring is here, and it’s been more than a full year since the pandemic began. For most of us, that year has been filled with lots of change. While some can point to good changes that have happened, I certainly think it's naïve to ignore the changes that have not been so good. Some changes have been external and environmental, some internal and emotional/mental. Many changes have been in how we’ve navigated these new circumstances, and adjusted our habits and mindsets. Some of these developed quickly, some of them more gradual. While the last year felt like it dragged on for many, I've discovered most of the new habits we've developed have snuck up on us, even if they didn't develop overnight. How many of us are shocked at what has transposed in us in a year? How many of us have realized we are struggling in one or more areas of our life out of response to the events of the last year? Any habits you've gotten sucked into out of survival mode? We are resilient creatures, but often survival mode does not mean we are functioning at our best or healthiest. The thing about survival mode is that it is not meant to be long-term. We find temporary ways to survive tough experiences, but then once we feel safe again, we regroup and adapt to healthier ways, ideally. After a year of this survival mode, many of us have developed new, longer term habits or ways of being that are not serving us.
For many, especially those stuck working or schooling from home for the past year, we've had our outlets and environments reduced to one room, to few or no faces, to less stimuli. We've had our routines reduced, our pleasures and entertainment reduced. If you're anything like me while working from home, your routine might have been reduced to wake up, roll out of bed, freshen up and move to one room over to sit for 8 hours and work, then roll back into bed and repeat (plus some food and whatever one can find for entertainment at home). While many have enjoyed some of the perks of not having to drive X amount of daily miles, or having to put much effort into how we present to the world, these perks are far outweighed by the costs of what has been taken away. We've moved into a new "auto-pilot" where we are just getting through the day. We are so consumed by what used to be or what is to come, that we are not physically present in our day for very long.
Some of the symptoms of "auto-pilot" tend to include struggling with anxiety, dread, decreased focus and motivation, and losing interest in things. We've adapted and adjusted, but not without the expense of our mental health and wellbeing in many ways.
What are we lacking? Well, the obvious things that bring us enjoyment: outlets, healthy routines, purpose... but within all that, we are lacking the things that help us need to be / desire to be present. We are lacking cues and structure that help us practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the antithesis to much of our anxieties, our struggles with motivation and focus, our struggles to feel purpose. I can already feel the eye rolls, as I know so many have heard the buzzword mindfulness used in some form or another. Many of my clients' first complaint when I bring up mindfulness, is "I don't have time to meditate!" Great news! Meditation, while helpful, is not the same as mindfulness. Meditation is a formal practice. Mindfulness is a way of being which we can do while we are busy doing "all the things", or even while we are not doing much at all.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness defined by my favorite mindfulness guru, Jon Kabat-Zinn, is “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally." Those are some golden nuggets right there.
The goal, in other words, is to intentionally get out of our own way by shifting our focus away from past and future thoughts that bog us down, and into the present moment where we are very alive and missing opportunity to thrive and grow. As Buddha said, “The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment.” Jesus was also very mindful; intentionally tuned into the little details of the people he encountered and into what was going on around him. Multiple times in scripture, Jesus made space for himself to quiet distractions so that he could be alone and present with God in prayer. Mindfulness can be a very spiritual practice if you want it to be!
So if you are struggling with autopilot, with new or old habits, thoughts, or an environment that makes it difficult to focus, find interest, feel motivated, stay calm, etc., I encourage you to try one or more of these strategies to take an intentional and more focused step into your now.
1) Switch things up!
Environment lacking things that strike curiosity? Have you been staring at the same walls or going through the motions day in and day out? Switch things up! If you work or do school from home, rearrange your furniture, or take some time to re-decorate or add things that pull you into the present moment and encourage you to want to be purposely present. If you go on a walk everyday or drive the same route everyday, try a new route. If you eat the same foods everyday, try a new recipe or a new ingredient. Do something that pulls you back into the moment, where there is much to be noticed and enjoyed.
2) Be "one-mindful"!
For how much our society applauds multitasking and distractions, this can really hurt us more than help us. Studies have shown that even when we feel like super-heroes being able to tackle multiple activities at once, multitasking actually reduces our productivity and makes it more difficult to focus and organize our thoughts. Take some steps to remove your distractions or additives. If you're spending time with family, put your phone away. Watching your favorite show? Put your phone away! Doing laundry while reading? Take the few minutes you need to fold those clothes and then give yourself the gift of fully diving into that book.
3) Be curious and investigative!
How curious and interested are young children in all the world has to offer, even with simple things like a cheerio or a wooden box. Wouldn't it be nice if we felt the same curiosity and excitement about what's going on around us? I'm not saying you need to get excited about cheerios and boxes, but perhaps we can practice some ways to tune more into what is in our present with a curious, child-like mindset. If you can't fathom thinking like a child, try playing investigator. Use all 5 of your senses to explore what's in front of you, whether that be what you are eating, what you are looking at, or what you are doing. What colors do you notice, does it change when you move it, how does it feel, what do you smell, what do you notice when you close your eyes, how would you describe the shape, does the flavor change when you bite into it, etc. Use your senses to tell a story. Common strategies you may have heard of that incorporate this idea are "5 sense grounding" and "Mindful seeing". Really, it’s any strategy that helps you use more of your senses to observe what is happening in your present moment.
Struggling to focus on a task? Pretend you are an investigator for a brief moment and physically write down lists of what you notice with all 5 senses.
Lacking sensory input or interest? Take in a rich sensory experience! Take a walk outside, open a window, light a candle, turn on your favorite album, wear a soft piece of clothing, play with your pets or kids, etc. The sky is the limit!
4) Exercise non-judgement.
So much of our self-talk that takes us away from being able to enjoy the present moment has to do with our judgmental inner dialogue. We are so quick to label what is going on or how we feel about it that we often miss the opportunity for the experience to be what it truly is. I'm talking about that voice that says, "This is stupid. This will go poorly. This person is annoying. This meeting is going to take forever. I'm so bored.” By labeling things we are already deciding what that experience is and giving ourselves permission to check out. Work on dropping the tendency to judge what is happening. Try going into the moment as a neutral observer, just describing and noticing what you are doing or what is happening in that task you are struggling with. Suddenly that meeting is rich with things to be curious about, or that rainy day takes on more than just feeling "blah".
5) Try a body scan!
There's more going on in the present moment than what is outside of us! Our bodies provide a lot of great information that can help us if we tune in. Many times we miss internal cues that lead to worsened physical health issues or emotional states. How many of us have back, neck or shoulder pain from how we sit all day long? If we tuned into this and responded with regular stretching or changing our postures, we could probably improve much of this. Believe me, I am poor posture's worst offender! We can also notice emotional cues internally, eg. I might feel stress in my shoulders, anger or sadness in my chest. Body scans can be self guided, or there are many to follow online, as well. You can start by scanning head to toe for any sensations or changes that stand out to you. What's going on there? What are you needing?
6) Practice some gratitude!
Most are familiar with this practice, but if you are not, no better time to start than now! Gratitude practice is a fantastic way to tune into our present even if the things we are grateful for are not right in front of us! Make a regular practice of listing what you are grateful for. I will bet you can notice how it feels in that very moment to feel grateful for someone you love. If you are struggling with a particular task, try to practice searching for gratitude in that moment; what can you pull out from this task that you could be grateful for? Is it teaching you patience? Perhaps it is gratitude that you have a job and an income! This may be challenging depending on the task, but if you are up for it, you can seek and find even the smallest grain of gratitude for most moments, even if it’s just that you are breathing and alive.
Seek some other ways to tune into your present.
There are SO many ways to shift your focus more intentionally and productively into the present moment. Search for mindfulness apps on your phone, talk to your therapist, do a google search, or just ask yourself, “How can I be more present today?”
Mindfulness Staff. (2021, February 12). Jon Kabat-Zinn: DEFINING MINDFULNESS. Retrieved April 11, 2021, from https://www.mindful.org/jon-kabat-zinn-defining-mindfulness/
Fuyu. (2020, April 25). Buddha's quotes. Retrieved April 11, 2021, from https://www.zenlightenment.net/buddha-quotes/
