“Pray for Me”

This week I covet your prayers. There is not a health emergency for me or anyone in my family. All my beloveds are doing well. This is not a period of discernment and I’m not in any real trouble. Well, not that you can measure exactly.

           I need my friends to pray that I don’t become a cranky old person. There have been signs I might be heading in that direction and I think I might need divine assistance.

           I used to think that things would become easier for me as I age. It’s not true. Things bother me more. I feel left behind technologically. I struggle with whether or not anything I do or have done has made any difference. Things get on my nerves. I have less patience and I mourn the loss of dreams I once had.

           I understand now how the crankiness can happen and I don’t want that. I want to be kind and generous and unbothered by small things, not distressed by the things of this world. I want to “walk slowly and bow often,” in the words of poet Mary Oliver. I want to enjoy children and young people and be able to laugh at myself. I don’t want to be cranky.

           I see now that this will require spiritual discipline. I will need to acknowledge that this reactionary life dangers the condition of my soul and humbly recognize that I am unable to manage this attitude adjustment on my own. I am powerless to these forces that dampen my spirit and cause the root of bitterness to take hold in my heart. I don’t want any of that. So, pray for me.

           Pray that I will remember the words of the Apostle Paul and that I will find contentment with whatever I have. Pray that I will be strong in the Lord, with the fruits of the spirit loading down the limbs of my tree of life. Pray that I will be kind and generous and patient and faithful, filled with love and joy and peace and self-control. Pray that I yield not to the temptations of doubt and discouragement and despair.

           I want to be the old woman who is light, unburdened, wise. I want to be the one who can stop whatever I’m doing to assist and then not complain about it later. I want to be the one who sees everyone shining with the Divine lighting them up from the inside. I want to be the person I am when I am walking in the woods with my dog at my side, the sun having just come up, the sky perfectly blue and the river flowing in the distance. The one who bows in thanksgiving to the four directions and finds a beautiful golden leaf at my feet. I want to be the person I am when I am dancing.

           I do not want to be cranky. So, pray for me. And if you desire it to be so, I will do the same for you.

You are the light of the world. 

Yours,

Lynne