Recently appearing in
The New Yorker
,
writer Andrew Solomon offers a moving tribute
to his psychotherapist, Richard C. Friedman, M.D., who died on March 31, 2020. The article is a testament to an expert clinician whose intelligence, compassion, and humanity marshaled the mysterious and profound potential of psychotherapy.
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II. Practice Announcements
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Please be aware of the following:
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III. Recent Blog Articles and the "Relationship Unconscious" Podcast Series
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IV. Virtual Seminars on Saturday, May 16, 2020*
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The Men's Group Seminar:
What Good Listeners Do
10:15 to 11:30 AM
Research indicates that poor listening is perhaps the single most common factor in relationships that go awry. If you can't listen, and listen
well
, then there is little chance for positive communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy. Conversely, success in an array of realms including the workplace, parent-child interactions, friendships, and healthy romantic relationships is highly correlated with good listening.
Given the powerful impact of the ability to listen, it is rather surprising that it is poorly understood and often approached with myths and misleading assumptions.
For example, the old adage that men are generally poor listeners has not been born out in the latest research. For sure, some men have been socialized to listen in different ways than women, but among research samples of groups deemed "good" listeners and "bad" listeners, there does not seem to be a greater proportion of men vs. women represented. Moreover, a long-standing stereotype is that men lack empathy; well, it turns out that among those who listen poorly, including poor male listeners, attempts to be empathic frequently occur but do so at times when they are not welcomed by the other party. The error lies not in there being little or no empathy, but in the empathy being misappropriated.
In the next virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar on Saturday, May 16, 2020 (10:15 to 11:30 AM),
we will review the latest scientific findings on good and bad listening skills, and take a closer look at gender differences.
To register for this upcoming seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Relationship Group Seminar:
Were You Raised by a Narcissistic Parent?
11:45 AM to 1:00 PM
In the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, May 16, 2020 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM)
, we will return once again to the topic of narcissism. This time, we will consider the impact of being raised by a parent who demonstrated narcissistic qualities and tendencies. If you were a child raised in such circumstances, you are likely contending with the negative consequences of your early development in numerous realms in your adult life.
In these kinds of family systems, the child is negatively impacted by a parent who unconsciously approaches the child as an extension of him- or herself. There is no gradual differentiation, separation, and, ultimately, individuation of the child from the parent as there should be. The narcissistic parent sees in the child only a mirror of him- or herself, not a separate being.
As a result, the child is parented in ways that coerce surrender and deference to the parent; what gets sacrificed is the child's freedom to discover and embody his or her own authentic identity.
To register for this upcoming seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group
1:15 to 2:30 PM
This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others.
Our next virtual group session will be held on Saturday, May 16, 2020 (1:15 to 2:30 PM).
T
he Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
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*
Registration Directions
: If you would like to attend the virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar and/or the Relationship Group Seminar on May 16, 2020, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or
jt@jamestobinphd.com
at your earliest convenience. The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminars. Please note that the Men's Group Seminar and the Relationship Group Seminar are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.
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