take another look
what a new year can bring you
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In this issue:
- looking behind, looking around, looking ahead, looking at what's best for you
- top suggestions for 2022
- proactive updates
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The Past, Present & Future |
In 2022 would you consider, how we learn from the past, live in the present and plan for the future?
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Why does it seem so easy for some and yet so difficult for others? Why is being in the present something so many work so hard at? Is your past and the future getting in the way of enjoying the present?
take a minute and consider the options. The past is what has happened, the present is what’s happening, our actual existence, the future is what lies ahead.
The beauty of the past is that it gives us a basis from which to grow. It is behind us. We can look back and learn, as we’ve all acquired a mixed bag of emotions. Let’s try and have the past help us determine how we want to proceed. If we spend too much time in the past, then we don’t take the time to be in the present and we’re doing ourselves the injustice of missing out. "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning." Albert Einstein. If we get caught up in the past, it will probably be hard to be in the present and look towards the future.
Being in the moment, looking at what’s in front of us is a choice, even when doesn’t feel that way. Annie Lennox has said "The future hasn't happened yet, and the past is gone. So, I think the only moment we have is right here and now, and I try to make the best of those moments, the moments that I'm in." Honestly, we’ve all drifted off from time to time. The question is how we pull ourselves back to the present and return in a way that allows us to be in our world in the way we want to be. There are so many apps available today, and practices too that include, pausing to gain perspective, mindfulness, taking a breath, cognitive-behavioral health, and yoga, “tools” to assist in being present rather than going through the motions. Giving ourselves permission to experience what’s happening in the here and now as opposed to focusing on what was, or what’s to come can be empowering. While everyone’s mind drifts to the past and future, try to identify when you are drifting and what will help to bring you back into your present world. It will help you in your future.
After all, the future is a plan, a dream, a chore, something to be done, accomplished in a way that allows you to take in the past while living in the present so you can move towards what you desire. "The future depends on what we do in the present." Mahatma Gandhi. The key is knowing your goal, the plan, and what steps to take in the present. After all the future is only something that can be anticipated not guaranteed. If we put all our energy into achieving our future, it can be difficult to look at all the accomplishments associated with the steps taken in our present along the way. Please don’t shortchange yourself.
A few questions to consider.
Looking back do you find yourself lamenting? Feeling bad? Feeling angry? Wishing it was happening again? With joy? With thankfulness? A combination of all? Do the thoughts and associated feelings help? If they allow you to feel good, positive, strength in moving forward YEAH!! then keep them. If they do not, please look at them and understand why you are holding onto them, what they offer? What they bring? How do you choose to carry it with you?
In your current life, do you find yourself in the here and now? Are you able to catch yourself when you drift? Can you think of activities you get lost in? If you can, are you able to understand why? Incorporate them into your days to help you along the way? Do you journal? Do you take stock of the day with appreciation or sadness? Do you forgive yourself for the mishaps? Do you acknowledge the wins, no matter how small?
Is the future where you want to be? Do you find yourself daydreaming, planning, or concerned about what might happen? Are you able to take steps in your life to pave the way for the future you want to achieve?
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A few thoughts to consider in 2022 |
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1. Name your emotion, understand its power allowing for healthily problem-solving
2. Boundaries help a relationship to thrive. They allow space for all involved
3. Pausing to gain perspective helps you refocus & determine how to proceed.
4. Learn from the past. Acknowledge so you can learn.
5. Focus on the present, don’t miss out.
6. Be curious. Explore.
7. Plan for the future. Things to look forward and work towards.
8. Take time to smile. It can decrease anxiety and sadness and engage others.
9. Breathe, it only takes a second, yet calms your nervous system helping you refocus.
10. Kindness counts. Be kind to yourself and others. It’s contagious.
11. Recognize what’s truly important to you.
12. Identifying what matters to you and how to incorporate those things into life.
13. Selfcare, refuel even for a moment, so you can be your optimal self
14. Resolutions, can bring unnecessary stress & can cause feelings of defeat. Please forget them.
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Most of all, wishing you a new year that brings you joy, peace, health, happiness,
and being in the present.
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In 2022 I hope we will all work together to ensure everyone feels comfortable in how they were conceived. Starting with the medical community, the request is that the question of donor conception and adoption be added to the medical intake process and form allowing for the conversation to take place and propelling improved health outcomes medically, physically and financially. To date over 15 Instagram lives have been held, a petition issued, 2 webinars held, a letter-writing campaign underway and most recently a survey put forth for donor conceived people, adopted people and their recipient parents to complete, (this can be anonymous if preferred). These true stories will support the need of this overdue change in the medical community. We need everyone’s voice to make this happen. Please consider using your voice by going to my 3rd Party Reproduction web page or Instagram page instagram page @lorimetzlcsw.
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Quick tip on engaging others, a simple smile.
It can show and elicit warmth.
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LIFE discusses ways of coping with life, the emphasis on moving forward and enjoying.
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I would like to thank everyone for continuing to listen!
Is there a specific topic you'd like to learn about? Please let me know.
all available on a YouTube too!
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I Dreamed of You,
the story of an egg donor baby
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written to assists the mom in embracing her journey, becoming comfortable in telling her story of the love, caring, nurturing, and desire she gave to her child from contemplation to birth and beyond. Available in English, Spanish & Mandarin and wherever you buy your books online.
all proceeds will be going towards the
Third Party Reproduction initiative.
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If there is something you would like to hear about please reach and let me know. |
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I encourage everyone, their own way to consider incorporating some the suggestions in this newsletter in 2022
(for more information on the benefits & practice of self care please follow me on Instagram @lori.mm)
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Tele-Mental-Health for
Individuals, Couples and
Support Groups continue.
as reminder I'm board certified in tele-mental-health since 2018
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Fertility Groups on-line
- Intended parents of children being born through donor egg, sperm, embryo & surrogacy.
- Born through donor egg, sperm, embryo & surrogacy
- Fertility support group forming in January
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for more information please contact lori at lori@lorimetz.net or 917.655.9776 |
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