We were at the dinner table and my 12 and 14 year-old daughters were snickering about something their dad did. I joined in on what I thought was light-hearted fun: I said something negative about their dad. The conversation and chuckling came to a screeching halt. “What just happened?” I wondered as a chill crept up my spine.

“Mom. Don’t do that.” My 14 year-old Anna said sternly. I felt the sting and shame all within a second. 

You may not believe it, but in the 7 ½ years since our divorce, this was the first time I said something negative about their dad in front of my children. When we divorced, our children were 5 and 7. It was easier back then in the midst of my grief and transition to keep them out of earshot. 


You can find more of Angela's writing in her book Patched Up Parenting.