Listening to One Another's Stories
When was the last time you had a friend who was significantly different from you? Many years ago I met a man who lived in a homeless shelter. He was in recovery and had been sober for a while before I met him. He had a young son and giving his child stability was a large motivator for him. As I got to know him and as we became friends, I discovered that he had grown up moving from place to place, often in shelters. His dad had been an addict who was never sober.
Sometimes my friend would lament his life. He would look at people like me with financial stability, a home of my own, an education that led to a professional job, and he would feel like he wasn't doing very well. But what I was aware of was that he was doing great! While I had only repeated the same things my parents did, he was choosing (against some pretty tough odds) to do better. The reality is that had we both been born into the same circumstances, he would likely have been doing better than I.
When I last talked to him he had a stable place to live and a job that allowed him to put his son on the bus in the mornings and meet him after school. His son was doing well in school. By the measurements of our culture, he wasn't doing as well as I was, but I knew he was doing great!
While this story doesn't directly relate to questions of racism (he and I are both white), it does remind me about the privilege it is often so easy for us to look past, and the structures that often play a role in determining the course of our lives even before we are born. Experiences like conversations with this friend have helped me be more open to hearing the very real stories of others and listening to learn about their experiences.
We live in a time when phrases like "white privilege" and "systemic racism" send up red flags and cause strong reactions from some people. The Anti-Racism/Pro-Reconciliation Team of the region is working to create spaces where we can listen to one another's stories and trust the Truth of those stories. We are working to create spaces where we can learn from one another and set down our defenses. We are working to create spaces where all people feel heard and valued. My old friend planted seeds that allow me to enter these kinds of conversations. I hope you'll be willing to enter these conversations, too.
Submitted by Rev. Jill Cameron Michel,
Member of the UMW
Anti-Racism/Pro-Reconciliation Team
