What Motivates You?
Do you feel a pull TOWARDS a goal (pleasure) or is it more a move AWAY from undesirable consequences (pain)?. Your tendency profoundly affects many aspects of our life. If pain or reward are big enough - all of us will eventually move away or towards. But how does it work in your day-to-day life?
Why is this important to notice?
These habits (programs) in our mind help us to generalize the world around us. They simplify it. It is helpful if they serve us and we are aware of them - use them to our advantage. The problem comes when we stop seeing them as generalizations - as colored glasses we put on - and see them as “the truth”. Then we clash with friends, with the world around and loose our balance.
Real Life Golf Example:
I have been working with a lot of golfers and here is how this distinction gets really important. If your program is TOWARDS, you think automatically “middle of the fairway, right side of the green, easy swing, being present”. If you program is AWAY, these are the thoughts going through your mind: Do not hit in the bunker, don’t take it back fast, last time you ended up out of bounds here - don’t pull it”. The problem is that our unconscious mind does not understand “NOT”. What you are basically telling your mind (and your mind to your body) is: hit to the bunker, take it back fast, pull it”. Can you see how that might be creating a lot of problems?
One of my clients had a deep insight: he saw he was creating all his bad shots! They went exactly where he told them to go! He was the creator. He realized that moving away from undesirable consequences served him in many aspects of his life, but in golf it moved him further away from his goal. By simply seeing this, he was able to move TOWARDS - think of the shots he wanted to create.
When we see the “glasses” we wear, it is liberating. It does not mean they are the “wrong” glasses or the “right” glasses. It just means that we pause and ask - does this pair serve me? Do I want something different?
Turning Inside Instead?
Do you want to live in a house that overlooks the ocean and hear the waves? Or do you want to move away from the pollution, people and noise? How do you think about the word around you?
Both of these orientations are externally focused. We are either afraid of the pollution (away/ the stick) or want the ocean (towards/ the carrot). What if we turn inside? Try to think about what motivates you, what has a deeper meaning for you? What is the next level of your mastery?