A Case for Kindness

There is a sign in my Office that a parent gave me some time ago that says, "Because kindness matters." In the hundreds of conferences I have attended, most parents want to know if their children are kind to others. I believe demonstrating true kindness to one other is a necessity for creating a sense of interconnectedness. Being kind not only feels good, but it helps us see beyond our own problems.

Even though studies show that many children are naturally helpful and altruistic, kindness is a muscle that needs to be observed, stretched, and repeatedly exercised for children to develop positive patterns of behavior. Children need to observe kindness through the modeling of the adults in their lives. You can't demand that your child be nice to the other kids in her class if you are driving along Route 50 honking at the car in front of you and making disparaging remarks about the Beanie Baby collection the driver has on her back window. I think it is also good to talk about a time when you could have better handled a situation. Recognize how you wish you could have been more thoughtful and what action you could take to fix the situation. We are all works in progress and striving to be better people. Maybe you made a mistake and sent a grumpy email to someone without waiting to hear their side of the story, or you should have mailed a get-well card to Auntie Susan when she was sick.

Charles Glassman said, "Kindness begins with understanding that we all struggle." An important component of kindness is empathy. A way to start developing empathy is to teach perspective-taking. "I wonder what it felt like for Millie to not get a part for the play." Or if someone is limping on the sidewalk as you drive by, noting that the gentleman looks like he is in pain and you hope he can sit down soon, teaches kids to begin to learn how to notice others through the lens of compassion.

Moreover, it is essential to teach our children how to use mindful speech. There are several classroom posters that contain the following questions, "Are my words helpful? Are they true? Are my words kind?" These cues help our children to begin to "push their pause button" and consider the impact of their words. Should your child need additional cueing, ask her how she would feel if someone said those words to her.

Finally, another way to help your child learn to be kind to others is to help others. Try to remember to engage in small acts of kindness like encouraging your child to hold the door for people as they walk out, picking up a piece of trash, or smiling at someone who looks lonely. Random acts of kindness are fun to do as a family, like buying the coffee for the person in the drive-thru behind you, leaving notes of encouragement, or donating some pennies in a collection box. Then you can move on to trying larger acts of kindness for others such as volunteering at an animal rescue shelter, helping with a food drive, or raising money for a cause. Kindness is a gift that we receive when we give it away.

To celebrate the month of February, we have begun a Kindness on the Creek campaign. Our goal is to spread positivity by canvasing downtown Chestertown with ornamental wooden hearts with positive messages next week. People are invited to take a heart home or share it with someone else who might need some joy. Typically, we celebrate Friends of Radcliffe Day where we invite our families and community members into our school to participate in theme-based activities. Since we are not able to have people in the building to feel the Radcliffe Spirit at this time, we wanted to spread it out in our community.

Wishing you positivity and kindness for this long weekend.