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Special Edition
  The death of George Floyd, and an Invitation to Conversation about Race, Confession and Learning  

June 1st, 2020 

Dear People of Grace, 

This morning as I woke up, I felt the exhaustion of a long month and an even longer last week in May. For the first time in a long time our morning news did not even speak about the Coronavirus for the first part of its broadcast because of the unrest in our nation.  There are new concerns on the hearts and minds of the American people today and rightly so.  This is a special  Grace at a Glance  written by staff members, not about what is going on at Grace, but instead about what is going on in our state and our nation and who we are called to be as a community of faith at a time such as this. 

As I said in my sermon for this weekend, I have a lot of big emotions right now. I would guess you do too. Our emotions are something to pay attention. They help us discover what is happening within ourselves. There are a lot of big emotions in our community as well and different emotions, some people are angry, others are afraid, and I think most of us are sad. As we watch and read the news or blog posts, I hope that you will attempt to understand the emotions of the writers. Are they writing from a place of fear, of anger, of sorrow, of threat and how can we listen to their concerns? I would urge you to read and listen to people who disagree with you and/or who are different than you. If you are not listening to the voices of our communities of color at this time, I would urge you to do so, especially people who are black. Also, please read multiple voices and sources. Just as my words do not represent the thoughts and feelings of all white people, one writer does not speak for all black people or all communities of color. 

George Floyd’s death one week ago horrified our nation. It was awful to watch. It would have been so much worse to have lived and died this way. Unfortunately, George Floyd’s death was not a unique event. Countless men and women of color have died unfairly, and unjustly. The difference is that people are videotaping it and we can see with our own eyes what is happening. We see a man, not resisting arrest, but being murdered in daylight on the streets of Minneapolis. He was not fighting the police officers who ignored his cries for help, his cries asking for breath. As of today, there has been one arrest made, but it took days of protest for this to happen. This is racism. We cannot ignore it. We cannot look away. What happened to George Floyd is not new. Our country was built on racist principles in which our Declaration of Independence stated that “All men are created equal,” and our founding fathers then declared that people with black skin are not actually people. What we see happening today is an exposure of this truth and it is a hard one to face.  

I am convinced that we are all swimming in a soup of racism, which means that for many of us we don’t even realize it is happening around us. I remember as a youth, when I worked in my parent’s store when a person of color came in, I would smile and say hi in an effort to welcome and to undo the racism that I knew about. Now, I wonder if my effort to be welcoming looked like I was more suspicious of the individuals who entered. Did they think I didn’t trust them? I do not know. My good intentions were not discussed with the people I encountered because I didn’t know how to do that . Talking about race is hard. It is uncomfortable, we are going to make mistakes.  I am going to make mistakes.   
Grace Lutheran is predominately white. The Lutheran Church is predominately white. What I have learned over the past few years is that those of us who are white have work to do: internal work that helps us reflect on our lives, our privilege, and the culture that instilled in us a fear of people of color. This is not something that we need a person of color to come in and teach us about, but instead white people have to do the hard work of learning about our own whiteness. I really hope that you will join me in this conversation. I hope that you will have this courageous conversation with me.   

A few years ago, I went to a racial justice conference and the first thing that was said was this: “You are going to be uncomfortable and you are going to say the wrong thing, but that’s okay, because we are here to learn and grow together.” People of Grace, we are on this journey together. I pray that you are willing to learn with me. We have some hard work to do and not all of us are in the same place. Some of you are a person of color and have not had the privilege of not talking about race, it is an everyday reality, others of you have been doing some hard work for a while now, and some of you are just beginning the process, or haven’t even started. It does not matter. I just hope you will dare to show up, listen and learn together. At its heart the conversations we have to have begin with confession. I confess that I am in bondage to sin and cannot free myself. I confess that because of my skin color I have had doors open, I have had countless privileges that I never even realized and that I have a lot more to learn.  
 
A few years ago, I had a friend from seminary post this on Facebook: “White parents, if you are not speaking with your white children about race, you need to start today and you need to ask yourself why.”  Her question was an invitation to me to learn more and to be courageous.  That evening, I had the first real intentional conversation about race with my kids, outside of Martin Luther King Day and we have been having conversations about race ever since. Last week, I had a conversation about race with my parents and my children together. We all had different experiences and different ideas. We had to hold each other in love, in grace as we spoke together. We had to try to understand each other and not dismiss the difficulty of the conversation.  Our church is our family of faith, this is a family discussion we need to have, one where we hold each other tenderly in love and one where we speak our truths, ask courageous questions, dare to be vulnerable and listen to someone else’s truth, confessing our sins, and forgiving each other. 

May God bless us and strengthen us on this journey, 
Pastor Joanna Mitchell 


A Message from Pastor Delwayne Hahn
Despite the fact that I have three grown children who are persons of color, it is impossible for me to understand the emotions raging in the streets of Minneapolis and other places across our country from the privileged vantage point of the white skin I have worn for 79 years.  On those rare occasions I see a flashing red or blue light on the car behind me I calmly pull over to the side of the road and locate my driver's license and insurance card.

At least one of my sons has a different reaction as the nagging fear begins rising that this is going to be another pseudo-ICE interrogations about the status of his citizenship as happened not too long ago. (Other than in Hennepin County which designates itself as a Sanctuary County, it is illegal for local police to act in this fashion).

This particular son arises out of a 400 year plus heritage of persecution for the color of his skin. His linage goes back to the 1600's in Colombia when Africans were imported to be sold as slaves to protect the native Colombian population.  It is something he experienced early on in his Minnesota journey. One of his first Christmases we bought him a large boom box because he liked music so much. The day he took it to sixth grade for show and tell, he got in the car when I picked him up and immediately asked.  'Dad, what's a N....er box?" At the age of 11, the color of his skin was an issue.

Even with all of this I cannot fully grasp the emotions driving the efforts of persons of color on the streets of the Twin Cities and elsewhere.  But somehow I must try. Today it is the persons of color but tomorrow it could be persons with the color of my skin who are the objects of persecution. The words of Pastor Martin Niemöller which are chiseled on his tombstone haunt me when I consider my lack of response to the travesty of justice which we witnessed a week ago:  "They came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up."

Or maybe more simply from another clergy person-- Fred Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"

Pastor Delwayne Hahn
Let’s make some NOISE!

We may not currently be able to participate in our typical “Noisy Offerings” at Grace, but we can still make some noise! Not the kind we hear when nickels and dimes and quarters are dropped into a metal container, but the kind that is made when we hear the cries of God’s beloved people and respond in tangible ways to help ease their pain and suffering.  

The devastation caused by the vandalism and burning of businesses in many parts of the Twin Cities has resulted in unprecedented need - for those who have lost their businesses and livelihood, for those who were employed by these businesses and no longer have a source of income, and for those who now lack access to basic needs like food and transportation. 

So please, PLEASE keep your Noisy Offerings coming so that we, as the community of Grace, can continue to be a force of good in the world. We will hold all Noisy Offerings until the end of June at which time they will be directed toward one or more organizations that are helping those directly impacted by the devastation in their communities.

You can give your Noisy Offering in one of two ways. If you write a check, please make it payable to Grace and write “Noisy Offering” in the memo line. If you prefer to give via GraceLink, click here and select noisy offering. 

Thank you, as always, for your generosity! 

Debbie Jorgens
Director of Outreach Ministries
How to talk to your Kids about Race, Racism, and Resistance

For more resources, activities and for this week’s Wednesday Family devotion, follow this link:
Some of you might be wondering how and if you should be talking to your children about the events of the past week and how, if and when you should talk to your children about race and race relations in the United States. Many people of color do not have the ability to NOT talk to their children about the realities of last week's events and continuing protests in our state and across our nation. Many people of color do not have the ability to NOT talk to their children about the realities of race. It is time for us to deny our ability to look the other way.

Today I was watching Good Morning America, they aired a segment on How to talk to your kids about Racism. Here are some highlights of their conversation:
  • Take a deep breath and take good care of how you are feeling. We are already stressed by the pandemic and the rise in racial tensions parents may be left not knowing what to say or how to say it.
  • Begin with open and honest conversations. These conversations are necessary, in order for your children to make sense and understand what is happening in the world around them.
  • Educate yourself and know you will not always have the answers.
  • The truth is raising color blind children doesn't work. Even babies begin to see differences in skin color, eye shape, and hair texture. Having conversations around difference and celebrating differences will help your children see race and process it in healthy ways.
  • The truth is even if you aren't talking to your children about race, they are learning from your silence, from the environments around them, in school, in books, from music, and movies. Even when we think they aren't listening, they are.
  • How are you providing cross cultural experiences for your child? How are you avoiding them? What is best for your family? What is best for your community?
  • Do your best to use correct terminology. You can say Black and African American. It is also important to talk about whiteness and the opportunities we receive just for being white. Using correct terminology means we need to listen to communities of color and learn. This type of education comes from reading books, listening to podcasts and engaging in dialogue. Know that it is never a person of color's job to educate you on what you do not know.
  • You will make mistakes and that is okay. The only mistake you do not want to make is not having the conversations at all.
  • In recent days, the anxiety and fear you are feeling, your children are also feeling. Having open and honest conversations with them about their feelings and the situations around them will help them see how you process and will help them process themselves.

I pray the content in this mailer is helpful to you and your family. Please do not be afraid, begin open and honest conversations with your children. I pledge:
  • to continue to diversify our church library,
  • to talk openly and honestly about race and diversity at Grace,
  • to continue to use images of Jesus and the characters of the Bible that are authentic to races living in the Middle East.
  • to continue to be a support to families at grace and provide helpful resources.
  • and to continue to do my own work in understanding my own whiteness and engaging in the hard work of anti racism.

For more resources, activities and for this week’s Wednesday Family devotion, follow this link:
Blessings to you and your family as you engage in these sacred conversations.
Maria Markman
A Message from Marie Kolar
When Pastor Joanna asked me to write an article for this special Grace at a Glance, I was not sure that I wanted to write an article. I did not know how to present our family while not offending anyone.  So, I called my husband and he said to just write about what it is like being a police family.  So, I am writing to you as the wife of a police officer, the mother of a police officer and the daughter-in-law of a retired police officer.   

As I sit here, outside in the beginning of the summer heat, listening to the neighborhood kids having fun with squirt guns and water balloons, it takes me back 20 years ago when my own kids were free loving and innocent. It was before 9/11, before my husband’s on duty injury, before the 35W bridge collapse, before extradition trips, before the kids experienced the fear of daddy’s job and before they had to learn that as a police family we have to walk a fine line. 

As a young police wife and mother that lived 1,000 miles away from family. I struggled on how to handle the late nights, sick babies, lack of money, home repairs and feeling of isolation. I struggled with how to make sure my husband did not become “consumed” by the job. I would, and still do, call him out when he gets cynical and dark. I did not want that in my family. I also struggled with how to keep my kids innocent as long as I could. I wanted them to love and respect all people, give people a chance, be kind and to stand up for those who are vulnerable. I also did not want them to be push overs either. It has been a tight rope walk and we have fallen off that rope several times. 

Some friends and family have said to me “Well, you knew what you were getting into when you married him.”  I have always wanted to say “NO! I didn’t know!” I didn’t know; that someone would plant a bomb at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics; that he would arrest one of Georgia’s top ten most wanted and in the process the man would break his hand; that as the twin towers fell on 9/11 he would be working 16 hour shifts to protect others; that an incident on Lake Minnetonka while on duty would land him in the I.C.U. for 42 hours; that his love for the water would have him become the head of the dive rescue and recovery team; that when the 35W bridge collapsed he would work from sun up to sun down for 5 weeks; that he would not take care of himself because the department was short-handed so he collapsed with an inner ear infection; that he would do extraditions and travel around the country; and that he would be processing and transporting those arrested during the unprecedented protests that are happening at the moment. Did I know that I would; spend sleepless nights worrying about him; that I would be a part-time single parent; that I would be a psychiatrist; that I would be the main disciplinarian for our kids; that I would have to record videos of important events so that he could see them; that I would have to hold my tongue and not engage when someone criticizes or generalizes police officers; that my kids would come home upset about something that was said about their father; that I would cry in the shower out of frustration, anger, worry and sadness; and that dogs make the best listeners and tear lickers. No, I did not know what I was getting into by marrying a police officer, but I love this man with all my heart! I would not trade him or this life we have led for anything. 

Please know and understand that I believe what happened to Mr. George Floyd is a horrendous tragedy and should NEVER have happened. I believe that there is so much hatred, racism, oppression and division in this nation and change MUST come to this country.  The generalization of people because of their race, religion, who they love, their financial position or a person’s career needs to stop. Everyone needs to be an individual and seen for who they are, a gift from God. 
  
Police officers are human, like everyone else. They have families. They love. They cry. They get upset. They make mistakes.  They work for change. They want this country to be healed. 

Marie Kolar
Bookkeeper/Communications
Join the Conversation

On Wednesday nights starting on June 10 th , you are invited to “Conversations on Race” where we as a Grace Community start to talk about race and our faith. We will meet at 7pm over Zoom. Please come with your questions and your willingness to learn. 
Contact Pastor Joanna Mitchell with questions at joannam@graceandover.org