During these challenging times when everything is changing, it's easy to lose our temper. Even little annoyances can be blown out of proportion.
There is a phrase in parenting that states, “Choose Your Battles Wisely.” Surely there will be times in life when it is crucial to fight for things you believe.
The problem is many people spend their lives fighting over relatively unimportant things that come up daily. This not only causes stress and tension, but it also alienates people around you.
To help you control and reduce the anger inside yourself here are nine steps to follow:
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Maintain a daily hostility log
– Write down the angry feelings you have, aggressive actions you have taken (name-calling, honking horns, road rage, threats made, etc.) and your negative thoughts. Being aware of your actions is the first step in creating a lasting change.
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Try proven ways to manage your anger
– Back off, count to ten, go for a walk, don’t confront someone when you are angry.
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Question yourself
– Ask yourself these questions when you start to feel angry; “Is it important?”, “Is my anger appropriate to the situation?” “Is the situation modifiable?” “Is it worth taking action?” “Does it really matter?”
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Don’t take it personally or personalize it
– Rudeness, slow service, and recklessness are everyday occurrences. Many people operate this way without knowing any better. Don’t make a mistake by thinking they have something against you.
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Weigh alternatives and consider options
– Ask yourself what the possibilities in handling each situation are.
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Put it in writing
– Write out what you are angry about. Writing it out puts a different perspective on everything.
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Cost-benefit
– Ask yourself, “Is this anger going to get me anywhere?” Many times it is good just to LET IT GO
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Can I do anything about the situation
– You must realize that there are many things you cannot control. For example, if it rains or traffic is backed up, your anger will accomplish nothing. The serenity prayer states it best, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change; courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
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Look at the flip side
– When anger starts to come on, focus on the positive. For example, if traffic is backed up, realize that you can listen to a book on tape or a motivational seminar. Or if you get a dent in your new car, recognize at least you were not hurt.
Follow these guidelines regularly, and you will have less anger stress, tension, and will enjoy life to the fullest.
If you would like to look at virtual and in-person training and coaching programs to help your leaders and teams improve their communication, interpersonal relationships, emotional intelligence or presentation skills, I am happy to set up a zoom call. Contact speaker@arnoldsanow.com - www.arnoldsanow.com - www.speakingcoach.com -
703-869-1881
Some other programs you might be interested in include:
Leadership Mastery Program for Emerging and Established Leaders -- Skills Every Leader Must Master
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