Bernadette Gabriel: Bernadette was the long-term loving caregiver of Lucy Eli and nearly a member of their large family. Bernadette did not have a picture available for this column so we featured her lovely client who she cared for, prayed with, sang along with and enjoyed sharing each other’s grandchildrens’ pictures.

Bernadette’s expert care, wonderful cooking and astute attention to her friend/ client’s every need made it possible to care for her in her beautiful home until her death for two years later. Lucy’s family were especially fond of Bernadette and generously allowed her regular breaks while they assumed the care for their mother. Music always filled the house and the two women shared similar taste in music.  All our clients hope/wish for a peaceful death at home, with family in familiar comfortable surroundings. Thanks to Bernadette’s amazing, attentive and loving care, along with the support of her family, Lucy was able to achieve this. It was our honor to know and care for her.

A FAMILY AFFAIR By Gary Barg, Editor-in-Chief, Caregiver.com

When my dad became ill in 1990, I would come home to Miami to visit almost every month, but it was not until returning to Florida full-time to help care for my grandparents that I knew what a “black hole” my mom had been living in during those past few years. She had become a nurse, insurance expert, medication manager and social worker to first my dad, and then, her parents, each day creating more opportunities for fear, stress and depression.

We caregivers know a lot about fearlessness. When a disease or illness enters our lives, each day becomes a struggle for the soul of our family.

So, what can you and your family do? The same as caregivers always do: stand up for your loved ones needs among your family members at the same time you advocate for him or her in the healthcare system. Acknowledge when your loved one is tired or unable to be around others for prolonged periods of time. Know what support you need from your friends and family and how to piecemeal out these responsibilities and most important of all, take care of yourself.

Do not forget to communicate with your loved one and your family members about your fears. Fear can grow to a point where it chokes your family’s ability to share feelings as tensions mount. The world can all learn a lot from caregivers; we have been at war with fear, grief and depression every single day as we fight for our loved ones’ health and well-being.

We just need to remember to fight for our own health and well-being, as well.

Things for Caregivers to Start Doing Now: Keep records of all medications and reactions. Make notes about what works, what doesn’t and when you informed the physician of any problems.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, TRY

We now mark the first anniversary of the Covid Pandemic. Many “experts” predicted 500,000 deaths. And that is exactly where we now find ourselves. Yet there is increasing skepticism about the number of deaths, all of which will be debated for some time. But one example deserves consideration. Flu deaths, especially in the elderly group are a scourge of winter. Last flu season in CT produced 109 deaths among those over 65. This year? Exactly 1 death. A healthy distrust of all statistics is indispensable.

Is there an upside to the pandemic? Any valuable/ useful lessons learned? Any reason for optimism going forward? In a word…… NO. Sadly, everything that I, and many people far more knowledgeable and revered than I, predicted a year ago came to pass:

A CAREGIVER'S TREASURE BOOK By Cydnie Goins Hoelscher

Caregiver,

in case someone hasn’t mentioned it,

you are a treasure – radiant, precious and rare.

You care,

bestowing your gifts in a time

when the world may not seem so bright or pretty.

You are treasured

as highly as the diamonds, rubies, and sapphires

 precious gems in this world.

These jewels,

rarely recognized in their natural state,

are cut, faceted and polished,

until they sparkle for the whole world to admire.

Like these stones, caregivers shine.

And when the world may not seem so pretty,

remember this gift – a treasure box

to keep in your secret place,

so you will be reminded time and time again

of how priceless you truly are.

10 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE by Helen Hunter, ACSW, LSW

Joseph Klock 93, adored soul mate and husband of 72 years of Mary Dot, died August 3, 2020. Mary Dot, his beloved wife followed him in death December 28. A broken heart death?  Their family included 8 children, 19 Grandchildren and 29 Great grandchildren. Together they built a very successful real estate company in Florida, later acquired by Colwell Banker. Joe was also an international business coach/ motivational speaker. Mary Dot became one of the most successful real estate agents in the state, while raising eight children, remarkable at that time. Together they were dedicated mentors and generous patrons to various charities. Their family continues their legacy of love, grace, strength, and the drive to leave the world improved for all.

Regina and Kelly along with their cousins mourn the loss of this beautiful pair and look forward to a celebration of their lives when travel and gathering is safe. ■

We are privileged to have received referrals from and be able to coordinate care with many Assisted Living facilities, rehab facilities, and Medicare Home Care and Hospice agencies. Our growth is in large part due to the trust the staff in these organizations have put in our caregivers. We are likewise impressed with them and we are committed to referring to them on a regular basis