Greetings!
I don’t want to do this anymore!?
I keep hearing this from people. I keep saying it to myself. It comes from folks who have been in one of many ZOOM rooms, and it comes from folks who are extroverts and need to be with people. And it keeps getting louder, more urgent, more common.
I don’t want to do this anymore!?
It’s more than a comment. It’s more than a question. It’s more than a plea. For me, it’s a statement of inadequacy, and sadness, and weariness. No. Fatigue. Bone deep fatigue.
First it was the choir’s cantata Sunday. Then Palm Sunday, then Easter. Then Mother’s day. Then Pentecost. Then Graduation Sunday.
Now it’s funerals without a gathering. Weddings are being postponed. The July baptisms won’t happen until much later.
It's producing worship services days in advance because it takes so long to cut, edit, normalize, piece together, and render video – and I really feel inadequate for the task.
It's consoling via text or telephone or Zoom.
It's grieving family and church members who have died to COVID.
It's seeing the church’s income impacted by changes in pledging, cancelled events, investments.
It's long discussions and research into when and how to return to in-person worship where health is at stake.
It’s ‘how come the church down the street is re-opening.’
It's worrying about a contagion that can fatally impact you or your family.
It's missing time with family and friends.
It's trying to absorb the flood of information and suggestions coming at you.
It's trying to determine whether you know how to be the Church in the post pandemic world.
I don’t want to do this anymore!?
Then there’s yet more deaths of Black men and women at the hands (knee) of police officers. Vigils, protests, organizing. Discussions about how the church will respond….
I don’t want to do this anymore!?
Perhaps it’s time to listen to that voice. To accept that this is a normal response to such drastic change.
If this is how you are feeling, know that you are not along in feeling this in this moment. Know that drastic and sudden change have always resulted in this. Know that we need to pay attention to this fatigue and anxiety. This is the very invitation to new life. Because, our God is just like that.
Blessings to you.
And please, wash your hands.
Carly
*This article is adapted from the writings of Rev Don Remick, Bridge Conference Minister of the Southern New England Conference of the UCC. The full text of his article can be found here.
https://www.sneucc.org/blogdetail/14021612
