I loved this article and could totally relate to her perspective. Janet shares throughout the article her experience in working with a teacher whom she identifies as resistant. She admits her “go to” strategy with a resistant coachee was avoidance and identifies it as her first mistake. I imagine that many of us have been in a similar situation, and for a lot of us, avoidance of something uncomfortable is fairly common. Her next mistake was labeling the teacher as a resistor, which became such a barrier to building trust in the coaching relationship.
Thankfully, Janet came to the realization that these mistakes were getting in the way of building an effective coaching relationship and she made the decision to shift her perspective and focus on building some necessary trust.
She admits, it took some time, but eventually, by creating a safe space, using a strengths-based approach, and intentionally building trust, they were able to establish a strong coaching relationship.
Here are her three biggest takeaways from this experience:
- Avoidance doesn’t work.
- Perception doesn’t need to become reality.
- Trust helps to chip away at resistance.
Janet also provides us with what I found to be extremely beneficial bottom line advice: “If you want to become a transformational coach you can’t shy away from resistance. Commit to making a change, check-in with your perceptions you are holding and be willing to unpack them, and intentionally build trust.”
It’s not a complex concept, and it’s also not easy. I found this article to be so helpful in realizing that coaching is a process, I don’t have to be perfect and being open to the possibilities is crucial. Also, trust is such a foundational piece of coaching, you can’t coach without it.
Submitted by,
Barb Willier
Coaching Coordinator
Pennsylvania Key
Baird, Janet. “Something’s Got to Give: Conflict-Avoiding Coach and Resistant Client.” Bright Morning, 17 Nov. 2019,
