COACHING: WINDOW WITH A VIEW

August 2020
The Pennsylvania Key Coaching Team welcomes you to another edition of Coaching: Window with a View. We invite you to engage and respond to questions posed as well as sharing exciting and insightful resources that facilitate reflection and critical thinking.
Rethinking Resistance
I recently read an article regarding an issue which I’m guessing, many of us have questions on and struggle with on a regular basis – RESISTANCE!

As we do more and more trainings around the topic of coaching, this tends to be one of the most asked questions, “How do I coach someone who’s resistant?”

The author, Elena Aguilar of the Bright Morning blog offers a few insights in to coaching resistance. I encourage you to review the article, Rethinking Resistance: New Insights into an Ongoing Inquiry in its entirety.
 
  1. Resistance is Emotion. Our perception of someone’s unwillingness to do something can be closely tied to their emotions and a disguise for a range of feelings.
  2. Coach Emotions – We find it difficult to coach resistance, because we are unskilled at how to deal with our own emotions, and how to respond to emotions expressed by others. The key to coaching a resistant person, is developing skills on how to coach strong emotions. Experiencing less resistance is to be mindful of and respond to our own emotions, as well as those of others.
  3. Implicit Bias Plays a Role – Our cultural background, as well as many other factors, has a large impact on our perception of other people’s emotions. Unpacking our own assumptions is key.
  4. Triggers are Teachers - When we learn to understand and anticipate our triggers, we can develop skills and strategies to demonstrate confidence in responding to those strong emotions.
  5. Beware of Binary Thinking – Perceiving and labeling someone as resistant tends to create barriers and disconnectedness. Staying away from the mindset that someone else is unwilling to do what we think they should do is key to rethinking resistance.  
  6. The antidotes – Altering our view of the problem and understanding that resistance is connected to emotions as a response to change, then we can develop an antidote. Curiosity is a valuable response to resistance.

It’s simple, but not easy. Setting a goal to manage our own emotions, in addition to the person we perceive as being resistant, is helpful in reducing resistance.

As a coach, responding to resistance in a kind, compassionate, and curious way can go a long way to breaking down those defenses.

Submitted by,
Barb Willier
Coaching Coordinator
Pennsylvania Key

Aguilar, Elena. Rethinking Resistance: New Insights into an Ongoing Inquiry. Bright Morning, 2 Nov. 2019.  
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The title of this newsletter, Coaching: Window with a View, reflects how only a small slice--or window-- of a perspective or viewpoint is necessary to make an impact in the process of coaching. This monthly newsletter is where you can find information, research, articles and perspectives to support engagement and continued development of the coaching mindset. 

For additional information about coaching, visit the Pennsylvania Keys website.
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