HELLO,
Here is your February EYMPD newsletter that I hope finds you well.

A few years ago now, the Government of Great Britain, recognized loneliness as “one of the greatest public health challenges of our time”

Unfortunately, one can come, most likely accurately, to a conclusion that the pandemic has only increased the depth and level of the loneliness problem.

The content of this newsletter edition will provide you with information on loneliness and hopefully give you tools to reflect on the impact that loneliness has on your life and/or lives of those around you, of those that you provide services to.

On a personal note, while skiing the other day I came across perfect imprints of animal tracks in the snow. A little, yet powerful reminder, that while perhaps lonely, we are never truly alone.
Stay in touch,
Kasia Oxley, Children’s Services Community Facilitator, Children’s Programs and Services
Work Cell: (705) 644-1533
Please note that the information contained in this newsletter is intended to encourage conversation and self-reflection and is not to be considered as advice. 
Studies in Loneliness with Social Psychologist & Attorney J.W. Freiberg

Time commitment: 1 hour, 1 minute, 5 seconds
Areas of interest: loneliness, connection, community, development
Format: podcast


J.W. Freiberg studies chronic loneliness through the unique lens of a social psychologist (PhD, UCLA) turned lawyer (JD, Harvard). A former assistant professor in the department of social psychology at Boston University, he served for decades as general counsel to more than a dozen mental health and social service agencies in Boston, including The Home for Little Wanderers, the nation’s oldest child-welfare organization. Dr. Freiberg is the author of Surrounded by Others and Yet So Alone: A Lawyer’s Case Stories of Love, Loneliness, and Litigation (June 2020), in which he explores the impact of faulty connections in failing relationships, through the telling of five case stories mined from his 30-years as an attorney.

Dr. Freiberg twice organized scholarly symposia on childhood trauma; the papers from his 2018 symposium “Loneliness and the Power of Permanency,” held at The Kennedy Center in Boston and attended by more than 400 mental health professionals, are collected into his edited work Growing Up Lonely: Disconnection and Misconnection in the Lives of Our Children. Dr. Freiberg is the author of the award-winning book Four Seasons of Loneliness (2016), and of Critical Sociology: European Perspectives and The French Press. He a member of the MA state bar and the bar of the Supreme Court of the US.

Two other books on loneliness by him are: Surrounded by Others and Yet So Alone and his study of children, Growing Up Lonely.
Chronic Loneliness and What You Can Do About It Paper 

Time commitment: an hour, however time spent on this piece will vary depending on exploration level
Areas of interest: loneliness, connection/disconnection, relationships, health
Format: pdf


We all feel lonely from time to time. How could we not, when we each mourn the loss of those we loved so dearly, and to whom we were so strongly connected? Most of us lose our grandparents when we are in our twenties or thirties, and then our parents, uncles and aunts when we are in our fifties or sixties. And contemporary life is full of the loss of others to whom we were once closely bonded: childhood friends who are no longer in our lives, adult friends and associates who have moved away or whose lives have changed significantly, and friends who have died. And sometimes we are just feeling lonely thinking about how we never had that perfect best friend or close sibling, or because of any number of disappointments that make their way into our lives.

But this garden-variety loneliness has little to do with chronic loneliness, just as feeling sad has little to do with being clinically depressed. Chronic loneliness involves a level and longevity of disconnection that leaves its victims unsupported, un-soothed, and exposed to both significantly increased morbidity and foreshortened life expectancies. The question becomes, how can you tell when the line has been crossed and you are slipping from everyday loneliness into chronic loneliness? Well, there is a way to know, thanks to the development of a remarkably valid and reliable set of questions that probe just this question, known as the UCLA Loneliness Scale -- 3.

(excerpt from the Chronic Loneliness and What You Can Do About It paper)
Upcoming Muskoka Early Years Book Club Spring 2021 Session

Dr. Freiberg’s Growing up Lonely Book will be discussed at our upcoming Muskoka Early Years Book Club Spring 2021 Session.

Keep your eyes open for an invitation to join the session as it will be sent to you, via email, soon. Space is limited. Each Participant will be receiving their own copy of the book, free of charge, via snail mail.

*Please note that the material included in the book is of highly sensitive nature (delves into such topics as child abuse, for example) and can be triggering to some. You are asked to carefully consider joining the Book Club Spring 2021 Session for that reason.
Here is a reflection on The importance of Oral Storytelling webinar, that took place in January of 2021, submitted by Linda Charbonneau, a local early years professional. Thank you Linda!

Mr. Rice has opened up my mind to the tremendous benefits of oral story telling. Stirring up found memories of my own childhood. Both my parents’ stories of their own. I learned about the way life was, their struggles, hardships and happy times their life experiences connected me to the past and I could relate to them. The stories gave me life lessons, on how to appreciate what I have now in life. Including my talents and gifts I have inherited. These live on in me and my children and hopefully in the future generations of my family. Even though I have heard them many times over the years they still entertain and delight me some brought tears to my eyes or made me laugh out loud.

Like this true story of my French Canadian Grandfather: His English was very limited. An English man came to look at horse they had for sale. My Grandfather said “He don’t look to good.” The man said” eh looks good to me” and bought the horse. The next day he brought it back saying “this horse is blind” my grandfather said “I told you he don’t (sic) look to good”

Oral story telling is one of the great gifts you can give your children and grandchildren. So when you are gone you will still live one. Thank you Mr. Rice.
Please write to Kasia to let her know your thoughts on loneliness or any other topic for a chance to win a resource of your choice
(value of up to $50.00)
EARLY YEARS PROFESSIONALS IN MUSKOKA
Audrey Harrison
What is your current job, and how did you arrive at it, in other words why do you do what you do?  
I am currently the Program Manager at Muskoka Lakes Preschool. I moved up to Muskoka from Toronto in 2016 and was initially offered a job as an ECE in the Program. Once the Administrative position opened up, I was drawn to the opportunity to expand my experience and knowledge of the inner workings of a childcare program. Working with children has always been what I wanted to do, so taking becoming an ECE was a natural choice.

Without disclosing confidential information, please tell me about how your involvement within the early years profession created a better outcome for a child/family.
 In a previous year I had a child who tragically lost a parent during their time in the program. I was able to work with the family and build a support plan to help the child deal with the trauma and was able to offer a stable/safe place for them to spend their day. The consistency of the daily/weekly routine was something that the child/family could depend on. Knowing that we as educators can be a source of support in such a difficult time is something, I take pride in. Supporting our families in the community is what we as Educators strive to do.

What's most challenging about the work you do? 
This is going to sound cliché, but I'll say it anyways. I would say the most challenging part is watching the children I work with grow up. It’s a double-edged sword. I am so proud/happy to watch them blossom and grow into confident, independent individuals…but it's also so hard to see them change from the littles that they were and graduate from the program.

What do you like to do in your spare time? 
I try to spend as much time in the great outdoors as possible. I truly believe that it is one of the main contributing factors to my overall mental health/well-being. With the winter season upon us, I have been enjoying hikes with my dog, snowshoeing, and snowmobiling.

What book/resource could you recommend to our readers? 
The Dot, written by Peter H. Reynolds. I get chills every time I read it. It has long been a favourite of mine because it perfectly depicts why I chose to do what I do, seeing the impact an educator can have in a child’s life is so powerful. Having a positive influence and empowering children to be their best selves is what keeps me in childcare.
What’s your favorite quote? 
 “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
Which famous person would you like to have lunch with and why? 
This is a difficult question to answer, I have never quite been one to know the names of famous people, let alone want to meet them. I think I would much rather have a dinner party with all my closest friends and gather the way we used to before this pandemic.

In the last couple of years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life? 
The power of a positive mindset. These last two years has been full of major life changes that were out of my control. Learning to let go of that control and just ride the wave, while looking for good in each situation has been an incredible help. My favourite quote fast became my mantra over the last few years.

What have you learnt to say “no” to? 
I am naturally a nurturer. This is a characteristic I like about myself, but at times, it can have a negative effect on me. I tend to take on more than I am able to do and I find myself feeling run-down/burnt out. I have learned the value in saying something as simple as, “I would like to, but I don’t have the capacity to do that right now.” And then suggesting another time when I am able to support that person. I have found that my own self-care & setting boundaries are an important part of being able to help others.

Anything else that you would like to share? 
I think I would just like to share a little suggestion. Take a moment and call a friend/family member who you haven’t been able to connect with in a while. We get so caught up in our day to day we forget the impact small moments of connection can have on our soul and the ones we love.
INSPIRATION CORNER
Agencies Providing Services for Children and Families in Muskoka
Great Beginnings
Parry Sound/Muskoka
Thank you Laura Gordon, from Hands The Family Help Network, for sharing information on Great Beginnings program with us!

Who We Are: Great Beginnings is a community program supporting pregnant women and parents of young children in Muskoka & Parry Sound. We are funded by the Public Health Agency of Canada and hosted by Hands The Family Help Network. We work closely with and are supported by many community partners.

Get Involved: We offer a Prenatal Nutrition Program for pregnant women and parents of infants under 6 months at the time of registration; and a Growing Up program for parents of children who are 6 months – 2 years. Outside of the pandemic we offered weekly groups in Gravenhurst, Bracebridge, Huntsville, Burks Falls, Sundridge and Parry Sound. During COVID we have moved our services online, offering educational sessions each week, along with virtual group gatherings and community kitchens for registered participants. The weekly gatherings for registered participants are an opportunity for us to come together each week and have social connection and support and talk about topics of interest and importance like pregnancy health, parenting, child development, mental health and wellness, community supports and other topics. The weekly community kitchens involve a meal kit delivered to your home and a video cooking demonstration posted online. We also have closed Facebook pages for our registered participants where we connect and share resources and post videos. If you are interested in registering and joining some of these activities, please call 1-800-668-8555 or email greatbeginnings@handstfhn.ca

Objectives: Increase the accessibility of services and community supports for pregnant women and new families; Build and increase partnerships, linkages, and collaboration within communities; Reduce Social Isolation; Promote and provide education about healthy family nutrition practices, pregnancy, understanding of infant / child development and parenting skills and topics; Increase and improve parent / child interaction. Improve the health and social development of children and their families; Increase the number of effective community resources and programs; Increase recognition and support for communities at risk, their needs, interests and rights; Increase empowerment and knowledge of families and communities.
For a chance to win a resource of your choice (value of up to $50.00), please submit a reflection of yours to Kasia on a topic of your choice that you would like to be considered for publication in one of the upcoming newsletter editions. 

Your submission does not have to be in a form of an essay, other forms of expression are welcome, such as: poetry, video footage, note, opinion piece, interview, photos accompanied by a short text, review, etc.  
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