As we approach Memorial day weekend, I have mixed emotions. Pride, gratitude, honor, respect, and yet sorrow, disappointment, grief, emptiness, and frustration. How can one person have so many conflicting emotions.
I have spent many hours preparing my heart for this weekend and as hard as I try there is no way that my heart is ever "ready" for Memorial Day.
I reflect on all of those who through the ages sacrificed EVERYTHING, their blood, their final breath, their hope for a future ......for me, for our freedoms, for America, for our values and morals. "Greater love has no one than this that they lay down their life for their friends." John 15:13.
They signed up to join the Marines, Air Force, Army, and Navy, Coast Guard, knowing that there was a cost to be paid for freedom. Knowing that, if it was required of them, they were willing to sacrifice their life to protect those they left back home. There is nothing more noble or honorable than that.
They served on the battlefields in World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan and other areas of war and conflict. They were Spouses, Parents, Children, Siblings and relatives of ours.
As I write this I look out my window to my flags flying at ninety degrees, completely unfurled in the wind. The red, white and blue of our American flag represents who we are and the freedoms we enjoy in America. I love that flag and what she represents. I thank God that I was born in the USA., the land of the free, because of the brave.
Below the US Flag, flies a flag I never wanted to fly. It is a Gold Star flag, but I fly it in honor of my son Marc Lee, the first Navy SEAL killed in Iraq 8-2-06. I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know what a Gold Star represented until I became one.
How can their still be such an empty spot in my heart almost 14 years later? Yet I am so proud of him, the choice he made to give his life so others could live. He may not physically be here but that kid is still changing lives in an amazing way.
That piece of my heart lives in heaven and one day my heart will be whole again when God calls me home.
Selfishly I would love to have Marc back in a heartbeat, yet we wouldn't be America if so many hadn't stood up and said "send me" I will go to keep America free. I would not be a true American patriot if I said "send your son to pay the price for my freedoms." We all need to make sacrifices, we all need to give, we all need to pay some of the cost.
Memorial Day we honor and remember those who selflessly gave it all on the battlefields and paid a far greater cost than many of us will ever make. It frustrates me when people don't understand what the real meaning of Memorial Day is about. Yet I understand, I was no different. Growing up I wasn't taught what the real meaning of Memorial Day was about. I knew it meant school was out, summer was beginning, the swimming pools would be opening. I knew I could count on a camping trip or bar-b-que with family. Sometimes it would include a trip to the cemetery to put flowers on a Great grandmas grave, or my twin sisters who died shortly after child birth and to remember those no longer with us. It wasn't until later in life I began to understand a little of what it meant. Not until after Marc died did I completely get it, but now it isn't just one day, or one weekend out of the year. Now Memorial Day is everyday as I remember Marc.
Everyday I remember his smile, his embraces, his humor, how deeply he loved, his playfulness, his ability to win over anyone's heart.
I'm disappointed and frustrated when I hear ads touting their sales and then mentioning a discount for Veterans or to thank our Veterans for Memorial Day. I love our Veterans, and have dedicated my life to honoring and supporting them and thanking them everyday, any time I get a chance. I do know who defends me and I am forever grateful. Corporately we do that on Veteran's Day. If you want to give someone a discount on Memorial Day it should be to our Gold Star families or teammates of our fallen.
It felt like I was sucker punched when I heard someone advertising their event to honor and remember our fallen on Memorial Day AND or COVID-19 first responders. I appreciate all those who are helping those with COVID but thank them on a different day. No one is trying to kill them, they aren't being shot at with RPG's. As Gold star family members all we ask is one day out of 365 days, remember our brave warriors who died so you could have the other 364 days. We just ask for one day as a nation that we honor and remember.
Please help me educate people about Memorial Day.
On May 5, 1868, Illinois congressman Gen. John A. Logan, national commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, issued General Order #11 proclaiming that May 30 "is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country in the late rebellion."
For decades, Memorial Day continued to be observed on May 30, the date Logan had selected for the first Decoration Day. But in 1968 Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which established Memorial Day as the last Monday in May in order to create a three-day weekend for federal employees; the change went into effect in 1971. The same law also declared Memorial Day a federal holiday.
Like so many things in life, we do things based on what we know. I've been on a mission to educate people so they understand and then they can educate people in their family, friends and people in their sphere of influence. 
Obviously there is a personal depth of understanding I have and I never want anyone else to understand on that level. I also don't want people mourning all weekend long. Marc and so many others died for you to have life, liberty AND the pursuit of happiness. I do ask that you just purpose over the weekend to take the time to reflect on all that we have in America, and honor and remember those who GAVE IT ALL. Educate your children, your family those in your sphere of influence. Take time to watch a video or read a book about a fallen hero, share a post on your social media about what others are doing to honor our fallen, walk or run a mile or two or ten remembering them. My goal this week is 50 miles to honor and remember. Swim a lap, read out loud the names of some of our fallen, send the family and teammates of our fallen a text, FB message, or call them and let them know you recognize the loss and remember.
Then go "Live your life worthy of their sacrifice!" Pursue happiness, pursue life, celebrate that we were blessed to have men and women who sacrificed EVERYTHING so that we could live free! Spend time and love on your family and friends, you never know how long you will have them.
Marc ends his amazing last letter home with "to my family and friends do me a favor, pass on the kindness, the love, the precious gift of human life."
Live your life worthy of their sacrifice!
Debbie Lee
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Our freedoms come at a great cost and through the ages our Veterans have paid that cost. To show them our gratitude we need to "live our lives worthy of their sacrifices." That's how I autograph my books and I think that says it all.