Lately, we have been in “Orange” mode on campus, which means the boarders are alone in their single rooms and everyone else is at home. For days. My advisory meetings are held on Zoom, where we offer each other a little window —just a tiny peephole out of our isolation.
It has been a sad year. And when I hear an advisee express sadness, we just sit in that sadness for a while. Because the best thing to do with sadness is to let yourself be sad.
Sadness makes us feel vulnerable; vulnerability can lead to fear; fear can quickly move us to anger, or even outrage. I have seen a lot of that this year. We prefer outrage to sadness, because it gives us some illusion of control. And in our desperate attempt to avoid feeling vulnerable, we don’t think a lot about whom our outrage might be hurting.
But there in my little, intimate zoom advisory, we can feel vulnerable and safe. Advisees can be as sad as they want. I hope that they leave advisory knowing that they can actually sit with their sad emotions, like isolation, grief, and uncertainty, without waging war on them—and on everyone else in the process.
--The Rev. Barbara Talcott
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