I write this column both as a tribute and as a plea to millennials. Millennials, for whom technology is almost a first language, have been trailblazers in its research, development, application and use. They have taught my generation so much and continue to do so, for which I feel in awe and eternally grateful. However, as the guardians of this new and ever changing world, I appeal to them to never forsake or neglect the richness and depth that real face-to-face communication, interaction and connection generates. As we become comfortable with conducting our affairs on-line, I make a plea to the indigenously technological millennials in particular, to restore a society that conducts its business and affairs face-to-face whenever and wherever practically possible, once life gets back to normal.
How rapidly our world has changed! I still remember (with great nostalgia I might add) the olden days when we could meet our clients and friends face-to-face and have cordial conversation, meaningful connection, direct discourse and productive dialogue.
All that changed in mid-March 2020 when, not just as a community, not merely as a society or not even as a nationality, but as humanity at large we were put under stay-at-home orders and lock down laws so as to contain the further spread of Covid-19. Overnight, our work with clients was relegated to on-line communications only, and we all rushed to master Zoom and other teleconferencing platforms so as to mitigate any interruptions to our services. With a sigh of relief, we continue servicing our clients’ needs almost as effectively as before the lock down (or so we might think).
As a negotiation and dispute resolution specialist trying to adapt to an entirely new mode of communicating, in complex, and at times, difficult conversations, I felt almost like a graduate student faced with a sudden realization that he needs to go back to school to relearn what he thought he already knew! For me perhaps the greatest revelation was that my initial premise that online communication is just a minor variation of face to face communication as I knew it, and barely a deviation therefrom – was an absolutely and entirely wrong premise! Online communication involves a completely new and different set of processes, methods, skills and techniques. Once I internalized this notion, I was ready to begin learning and to embrace online communication.
Yet even after acquiring a modicum of proficiency, and as many of my colleagues proclaim on-line negotiation and mediation to be the new normal even after life as we once knew it returns, I have nagging questions at the back of my mind:
Could President Reagan and General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev have achieved the end of the Cold War without any face-to-face meetings and only communicating via teleconference each from their respective desks, and ensconced in their respective palaces of power?
Would Henry Kissinger have been successful at initiating a détente with the Chinese leaders had he not had secret meetings in-person with them and instead, relied entirely on virtual communications?
Might Nelson Mandela and Prime Minister de Klerk of South Africa have successfully and peacefully transitioned the country from entrenched apartheid to a hitherto inconceivable black majority rule, had the two men never actually met?
Can genuine and authentic trust be built and established between human beings from a distance using only technology without true human interaction and connection?
Is it possible to achieve deep understanding and to really express empathy under the veil of an electronic medium?
Although difficult to prove scientifically and to quantify in any tangible way, I think many of us would answer an unequivocal “NO!”
There is undoubtedly an inexplicable energy, chemistry and connection that occur when people are in a room together – let’s call it
The Human Factor
. There is an effervescence which makes on-line communication feel flat and dull in comparison. It is this invisible energy and effervescence which allows for much deeper connection, trust, authenticity, dialogue and understanding and which really feeds the spirit of our interactions, communications and negotiations, and in our dealing with conflict and disputes.
It was this very dynamism which can only occur face-to-face, which allowed Reagan and Gorbachev; Kissinger and the Chinese; and Mandela and de Klerk to successfully broker deals and resolve complex long-standing disputes.
As we all become comfortable with virtual meetings; zoom socializing; business and professional teleconferencing; and on-line entertainment; let us not become too comfortable! Let us realize that our quick adoption of technology is only an adaption to the practical circumstances in which we currently find ourselves, but far from the ideal when it comes to human connectivity. Let us all look forward to the day when we can really enjoy each other’s company face-to-face, and once again engage in cordial conversation, meaningful connection, direct discourse and productive dialogue!
