A Note From the Head of School:
Understanding and Fostering Humor
Today in schools all across America it was the annual day where pleasure meets pain. Yes, it was April Fool's Day.
After watching Owen's failed attempts of plastic wrap across open doorways hoping to catch his sisters off guard in their typical morning trance, I realized I'd better be on the offense with my 7th and 8th graders whom I greet every morning. This morning, as I casually checked in each child, I said, "I am so sorry you didn't get the notice that today there is a fog delay." It didn't matter that the parking lot was full of cars and several children were arriving at the same time, I still got a horrified moan from about 75% of the kids. And then I uttered those words of annoyance to all, "Hee hee, April Fool. Just kidding!" (Maybe I should get out more?) Most of the kids laughed appreciatively and headed off to class.
Having a sense of humor is a demonstration of emotional intelligence, the ability to connect with others, happiness, and strong comprehension ability. Author Paul McGhee reminds us that nurturing your child's sense of humor has long-term intellectual, emotional, social, and physical benefits. Remember that a good laugh reduces stress hormones and fosters a healthy immune system. "Laughter is the best medicine" is a well-known truism. In today's world, I believe we are all in need of a daily dose of belly laughs.
A child's humor development resembles Piaget's stages of development. Toddlers and two-year-olds enjoy people doing silly things like falling over, making faces, doing unexpected things like wearing their teddy as a hat, or making a doll talk. When children are around three and four years old, they enjoy tongue twisters, rhyming, or making up words. Children who are five to eight years of age (and beyond) really like to tell jokes. Getting the joke is almost as fun as telling them! Older children begin to appreciate puns and riddles. Sarcasm is perhaps the last aspect of humor to develop.
I have a real issue with sarcasm being used with children and adolescents. Sarcasm relies on the child's ability to understand subtle cues and it depends on the strength of a relationship to manage the criticism behind the comment. Sarcasm is deeply confusing to all children under the age of about eight years old. And most of the time it is hurtful even when it is meant to be delivered in a humorous situation. Students who learn differently, particularly those children with attentional issues or who are still developing social skills, will not pick up on those cues. Most of the time, sarcasm used by adults to children is hostile, passive-aggressive, and mean. Signe Whitson summarizes sarcasm by saying "While humor is a glue that binds many families together, sarcasm can be the wit that wounds."
Remember that like reading comprehension, humor is developmental. Like all skills, humor can be taught, practiced, and developed. Often children's humor mimics that of their parents.
Here are some ideas to help to foster a sense of humor in your children.
- Be silly.
- Enjoy humor together whether it is in a funny book, movie, or podcast that you listen to together in the car.
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Make-up silly adventures that you would face as a family (Warning- make sure your kids know you are kidding! I really thought my family was going to move to a farm when I was in second grade.).
- Have a family joke of the day.
- Read cartoons together.
- Teach your children how to laugh at themselves by modeling that skill as a parent.
Laugh more, bark less. It's corny, but a good reminder that sometimes we can achieve just as much through the use of humor as we can through yelling.
Wishing you a laughter-filled holiday break,
Head of School
As always, do not hesitate to reach out if we can be of any help.
