I’m sure that most aren’t familiar with Aimee Stephens, who passed away from kidney disease last week at age 59.

In the transgender community, Aimee is a hero; she filed a lawsuit against her Michigan funeral home employer when it fired her for transitioning genders while on the job. That lawsuit worked its way to the U.S. Supreme Court, which next month is expected to decide whether existing federal employment law (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964) prohibits discrimination against transgender persons. (The Court will also decide a similar case relative to gays/lesbians.) It took great guts for Aimee to go forward with the lawsuit, and thankfully, though confined to a wheelchair, she was able to hear her case argued to the Supreme Court last fall.

As reported in the The Detroit News , when asked about her lawsuit last year, Aimee said, “If you’re part of the human race, which we all are, we all deserve the same basic rights. We’re not asking for anything special. We’re just asking to be treated like other people are.”

And yet even in death, Aimee continues to teach us. In the above Detroit News article, the reporter saw fit to include Aimee’s male birth name. A number of other media sources, including the New York Times , did so as well in reporting on Aimee’s passing.

For transgender persons, referencing someone’s birth name after they have transitioned genders is called “deadnaming.” It’s highly offensive; indeed, I never speak of my birth name in public (although, in my memoir and in some writings, I have provided the name—but that’s my choice to do; someone else should never have that option).

The takeaway: once someone has transitioned genders, the name they assume is their name both in life and in death. When I pass from this world, please, don’t let anyone list the name I had as a boy/man. It’s not who I am.