Week One: Trust - Leaning into Discomfort
“On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. A great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”
He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”
Mark 4:35-41
In 2019, I began to consider stepping away from work to spend more time with our family. I really enjoyed what I was doing and the people with whom I worked, but I felt I was missing precious time with our young daughters. As I tried to balance the responsibilities of work and home, a few questions kept coming up: What was God’s plan for me? Was I providing appropriate support for our daughters? If I “paused” working, would my need to feel productive be fulfilled? Having grown up with full-time working parents, would I be doing “my part” for my family?
Beyond these questions, there was a huge obstacle to overcome in my decision: my fear was greater than my faith. Tearfully admitting this to my Dad (a retired minister) was another uncomfortable challenge, but an important step for me to grow my trust in God.
After lots of prayers and contemplating the sermon series “Courage and Hope,” in February 2020, I brought up with my boss the topic of stepping away from work. He listened, and we agreed to see how things progressed with balancing work and home responsibilities.
In the Spring of 2020, I really connected with Bob’s sermon, “Daring to Trust” and realized I was not going to overcome my fears by sitting still. Often thinking of the verse in Jeremiah, “for I know the plans I have for you,” it was time to stop trying to control my life on my own and start trusting God more.
This was becoming a “fishermen in the boat with Jesus” moment for me.
After many more prayers and time spent analyzing whether we had saved enough money, I took the leap and let my boss know in mid- November of my decision to step away from work. To ensure a smooth transition for our team, we made a plan in which I continued working through the end of December.
The start of 2021 has opened my eyes to so many opportunities. I have found joy in spending more time with and supporting our girls, cooking meals for friends facing challenging times, and volunteering with a few organizations that mean a lot to me. I still don’t know what God’s long-term plan is for me, but I feel peace in trusting God more.
