A Note From the Head of School:
"A Holiday Wish for Calm and Bright"
The words from the Silent Night video (above) are resounding in my head, "All is calm, all is bright." Yet, at this time of year, most of us are trying our best to maintain calm while balancing the everyday demands of life with the challenges and pressures of the holiday season. Furthermore, particularly in 2020, there is an additional layer of stress that comes with this holiday season.
I believe our children from infancy to adulthood are sponges of our energy. No matter how hard we try to fake it, if we are feeling discombobulated or tired, our kids will pick up on it. In our experience at Radcliffe, our students are particularly sensitive to the feelings of others even though sometimes they don't know how to manage that skill. It's that awkward paradox of having a gift to "feel" others' energy, but yet not be able to know what to do with it. We know they want to help make the situation better, yet without coaching and modeling, things can go awry.
Over the last eighteen years as a parent of three, I threatened to cancel Christmas more than once in the throes of desperation to get back my (sorta) well-behaved kids who seemed to disappear once my tree was put up. Didn't they get that Mikey, our Elf on the Shelf, was watching? How many times did I have to belt out, "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and nice..." to remind them that there were serious consequences to their misbehavior? My kids were not great with these subtleties.
During the Holiday season, it's important to remember the energy sponge concept. Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and think about your expectations for the holiday season. Maybe I don't need to bake 6 different kinds of cookies to give to all our neighbors and friends, to buy, wrap and distribute presents, to make handmade gifts for my friends, to decorate for the season in every room, to dress my children and take pictures in holiday, coordinating outfits, to send out Christmas cards with personalized notes to everyone, to go on the Santa Hayride, to attend other people's parties and to host a huge Open House in the span of about 3 weeks. It seems crazy to type these words, but my family did these very things year after year. About a week before Christmas, we were all burnt out and Christmas was "temporarily canceled" despite the kids' matching outfits.
Consider what you can take off your festive to-do list list that will allow you the ability to still enjoy the holiday season without making yourself crazy? COVID-19 is incredibly "un-Hanukkahy" and "un-Christmassy," but it does allow us the ability to rediscover the essence of what our families really need. The question I asked myself and my husband is, "What are the most important things for us to do during the Christmas season? And because our children are now older, I ask them as well. Their fond memories are so much more simple than the memories I believed I needed to create for them. Everyone picks their one important activity and suddenly, all seems much calmer and brighter.
Even if there are magical moments to be had, when things become unstructured, highly stimulating, or rushed, little ones (and many of our older students) may not respond well. Sometimes kid's issues can be sensory related. Consider asking yourself "What can you do to alleviate my child's potential meltdown?" One idea is to plan backward. If there is going to be a lot of noise, sometimes having your child wear a hat or a tight hood that covers their ears will reduce their discomfort. Try to ground your kids by taking them outside, giving big bear hugs, providing them food to crunch on, or pushing them on the swings.
In addition, our children crave consistency and routine. What holiday cheer can be embedded in your daily routine? Can you read your bedtime story under your Christmas tree looking up at the lights? Can you pause in wonder with them as you play outside? Can you snuggle and talk about the holidays when you were little? Little moments like these can become big memories.
As we begin the Festival of Hanukkah and with Christmas just 14 days away, my hope is that your days are calm. I wish that you are able to have a brighter sense of what is needed to bring magical joy into your homes.
As always, please do not hesitate to reach out to your child's teachers or to me if you are looking for strategies to help your child during this busy season.
