|
I remember the first time I heard this question, it was from my Bishop and I’d been a priest for all of four years. His question took me by surprise; I thought I was there to tell him about the church I was serving, my professional life, and to a much lesser extent, my personal life. We would eventually get to those things, but not before we talked about the state of my soul.
I remember that in an effort to reply, I was talking quickly without saying anything. He interrupted me and said, “Take a moment to collect yourself and then take your time to answer. We aren’t in a hurry.” Which wasn’t exactly true. We only had a two-hour appointment, but I didn’t argue. He was the bishop. I leaned back in my chair and thought about my soul—my spirit, the depth of my being— and I said, “It’s tired. My soul is tired."
I didn’t realize it then, but his question is one that originated in the early church. “How is it with your soul?” It’s how church members would greet one another and catch up, and it would offer the other insight on how s/he might pray for their friend in Christ. Today I ask myself this question, “How is your soul?” and often the answer is the same: it’s tired. Tired of violence, posturing, self-importance, greed, lies, and people being generally terrible to one another. Tired of feeling powerless to change any of those things.
But here’s the thing. When my soul is joyous, grateful, and full-to-bursting with love and grace, I’m not asking, “How is your soul?,” because I’m not being introspective, I’m living fully in the moment. Those moments typically happen in two places: with my family, when the kids are laughing and getting along or the whole family is gathered for a meal and everyone is in good spirits, and at the church service on Sunday. In those moments I’m not asking about my soul, but I am more and more often thanking God for the moment. For Rachel’s gleeful smile as she propels herself high on the swing; greeting people before church and seeing their look of relief when they realize they’re not late; and the outstretched hands of parishioners ready to receive the bread of heaven.
I’ve also realized that often what I identify as fatigue is actually hunger; when I get too caught up in the day-to-day chores, meetings, and deadlines I forget to do those things that feed my soul, the things that bring me joy. It’s important to do self-check-ins, and it’s crucial that we take care of ourselves, all of ourselves. We have become very body-conscious, and to some degree even emotionally conscious, but our souls have been left in the lurch.
Feeding our souls isn’t about being smarter, stronger, faster. It’s about being whole, balanced, and joyous. How is it with your soul? What feeds your soul? What brings you joy? Do that thing that brings you joy. Not for a side hustle, not to impress anyone, but for yourself. GIve yourself half an hour to do something joyful and fulfilling. Draw, dance, or play an instrument, for you and no one else.
Our souls are hungry, and they need to be fed.
—Fr. Jason Shelby
| 
