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Why make a goal list?
- It helps our kiddos look toward the future and plan for new, positive habits and behaviours.
- It gives them control of their choices of how they act, behave, and think.
- It helps with logic and reasoning as they figure out that their choices are connected to how and when they reach their goals.
How to create a goal list:
-Before starting: Give your child very unspecific instructions about what to write on their goal list. Tell them they can write down anything that they would like to work toward having, getting, or doing. Don't give suggestions or ideas - let them workout what they want to achieve and use their logic and reasoning and imagination! (P.S. Their goals will look very different form what we want them to work toward!)
- Child writes down what goals they want to reach.
- Ages 5 - 6: for children who aren't able to write their own list yet, take 20-30 minutes to sit down with them and write down the goals that they come up with.
- Ages 6 - 12: for children capable of writing their own list, give them a piece of paper and a pencil, and allow them about 20-30 minutes to write down any goals they have.
- Ages 13+: for teen who may need a bit more time to think, let them know that you're going to be working on goal requirements in a few days (give them a date) and that they can think about what goals they have and bring you a list when they're done with it.
- Once your child has completed their list, add it to a graph or chart where you can add the requirements (sample graph down below).
- Parent writes requirements.
- Remember to write SMART goals (above) for your child that are age and ability appropriate.
- ANY goal your child writes down is acceptable and needs specific requirements for achievement. If it is something that is not allowed in your home, the requirement will include that they have to be moved out and in their own home. If it seems unrealistic - no worries! Dreaming is great for the brain. Write requirements that would get to that goal (getting a drivers license to be able to drive the Lamborghini, having a job to pay the mortgage for a mansion, etc.)
- Requirements MUST make sense with the goal. Each requirement must be specific to the goal your child has listed. If they want to play with friends, focus on requirements of being respectful, responsible, and fun to be around, maintaining safe behaviours, following your instructions, etc. If they want to be able to play video games, include requirements such as doing the 6 Jobs of Strong Kids, completing daily chores, taking care of the toys and items they currently have, earning a deposit on the gaming system and/or games (in case of breakage), etc. Take some time to think carefully about the different aspects of the goal and how they can best achieve it with adaptive behaviours and life skills.
- Child complies X number of days IN A ROW. This part is important! Doing something so many days in a row allows the brain to build new habits. If your child accomplishes with the requirements only sporadically, their brain will not be forming those new, helpful, and adaptive habits. Have a countdown calendar and keep track of how many days in a row they accomplish the requirements. If they flop out one day, start the next day back at Day 1. (See sabotaging below)
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