7When he noticed how the guests chose the places of honor, he told them a parable. 8“When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; 9and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, ‘Give this person your place,’ and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. 10But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. 11For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” –– Luke 14:7-11
’Tis the season of table gathering! Belts have already been loosened from Thanksgiving blowouts, and rumps are sore after piloting your Peloton in the hope of minimizing the impact of the inevitable mass immigration of Christmas calories. Family oblications, neighborhood holiday get-togethers, church group outings, office lunches, corporate parties, your fringe of a friend’s cookie exchange, and the holiday family reunion. By the new year you will have taken your seat at a ton of tables in a variety of zip codes for prolonged dinners, the result being a new definition for hot cross buns. Ouch!
For some of you, it is not about the food, but the fellowship, the family altogether. For others of you, it is all about the food, with the table-mates being something to put up with as you dig in. For all of you, it is a God-given opportunity to extend the boundaries of your graciousness and surprise others with the gift of affirmation.
The temptation at these table gatherings is to compare, compete, and categorize or sort those at your table. When such verbs guide your interactions, disappointment is inevitable with resentment sure to tag along. Insecurity is at the heart of many breakdowns in community. We walk into group settings with antennae extended, hypersensitive to the slightest intimations that your presence is dispensable, that someone has cut off your courageous attempt to enter the conversation, that someone brushes you off to talk to the popular couple, or that your voice is so obviously undervalued. As such fears rumble around in your noggin, it could be that you overcompensate by assuming a persona of conceit, going on the offensive, seeking to own the table, being the interruptor, eliminating the period from your grammar, feigning expertise, and demeaning those who disagree. Or, it could be that you take the opposite tack, withdrawing, stewing, grinding your teeth, and puttin’ on the pout.
However, there is a third way –– the way of Jesus, a way marked by humility and a relative comfort in the skin of who God embraces and calls you to be. Your felt need is not to impress others but to please God. Having “more” or “your fair share,” isn’t as heavy a weight on your chest because “the peace which passes all understanding” has been realized as a gift greater than any other thing this world can provide. Being noticed loses relevance as the presence of Christ’s Spirit eases social anxieties and curtails the power of the slight. May such peace be with you in this season of table gatherings. Let others fret over the “place of honor,” for your contentment is sourced by the knowledge that there are no box seats at the Lord’s Table.
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