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NEW EDITORIAL

RETHINKING DEPENDENCE

GORDON NEUFELD


As I have been immersing myself into the material in preparation for my 2023 conference address on the Wisdom of Dependence (see below), I once again find myself in awe regarding Nature's blueprint for the unfolding of human potential. At the same time, I am acutely aware of how much we are still being governed by the tired doctrine of self-sufficiency, especially when it comes to raising children. We are still preoccupied with pushing independence upon them, succumbing to one variation after another with some of the newest obsessions including self-soothing, self-regulation, and self-care. So many adults are still living by the adage that we must not do anything for a child that they could or should do for themselves, and so strive towards their independence and self-sufficiency while dangerously sacrificing their dependency needs for togetherness in the process. We are still operating in our society as if a spontaneous life force does not exist, never mind that it is ready and eager to do its work once we show some promise of doing ours. 


For generations now – at least in the dominant English-speaking society – we have thrown dependence under the bus, sacrificing it in our efforts to train independence. When our efforts fail as they inevitably do, we foolishly double down. We should not be surprised to have given rise to the most insecure and troubled children ever.  


What is required to wrench ourselves free of this infected mindset? To realize how incongruent this approach is to developmental science? How can we get the confidence to swim against the stream of prevailing practice?... READ THE REST OF GORDON'S EDITORIAL >

CONFERENCE SPECIALS

50% OFF

ALL DVDs

APRIL 15–29, 2023

  • while quantities last
  • shipping & taxes extra
  • offer valid on new orders placed between April 15-29, 2023
View DVD Selection

50% OFF 

2023 Children's Book List


Just $5

FOR 2 DAYS ONLY

on April 22 & 23


The 2023 version of the Neufeld Institute’s list of children’s literature recommendations is updated annually each spring to match-make parents and professionals with outstanding kids’ books.

Release Date: April 22nd

Learn more

Bullies: Their Making and Unmaking

Anchored by Eva de Gosztonyi

Tuesdays 4:30-5:30 pm PDT

May 2 to 30, 2023

$150 | Runs for 5 weeks

Details & Registration

Watch a 10-minute preview video

from the original version.

Bullying is not going away, despite over 25 years of conferences, anti-bullying legislation, national initiatives, a multitude of anti-bullying programs and events like Pink Shirt Day. So much time, energy and resources have been poured into trying to “tame the bully” and it is just not working. Why not? Because you cannot develop an effective intervention if you don’t understand the underlying reasons for the behaviour.


In this revised version of his course, “Bullies: Their Making and Unmaking”, Dr. Neufeld helps us to understand the origins of the Bully Response, proposing that it comes from a perversion of Alpha instincts. This way of looking at bullying then leads to interventions that can really make a difference.


During the online facilitated discussions of the course material, Eva de Gozstonyi and Jeanie Alderson will share their experiences with how they used this knowledge to help schools to effectively intervene with the Bully response.


For more on the subject of bullying, read Deborah MacNamara's article, Dealing with Bullying: What Doesn't Work and What Will.

JULY 17-21, 2023

EXPERIENTIAL PLAY INTENSIVE

Playful Therapy: Matchmaking Play and Emotion

TAMARA STRIJACK WITH TRACY AZEVEDO

In this on-site experiential course, we will play with the practical application across the lifespan. What does it look like to bring true play and playfulness into our practice, both in and out of the therapy room? What does it look like to matchmake play and emotion for those you care for and for yourself? With this insight of true play, we can see how play is nature’s design to take care of us, no matter what one’s role. We look forward to playing together with you!


PREREQUISITE: Intensive I: Making Sense of Kids


SUITABILITY: For anyone who would like a better understanding of the dynamics of play in human development, and an opportunity to experience putting play into practice.


FACILITATOR: Tamara Strijack with Tracy Azevedo

DATE: July 17-21, 2023 in Langley, British Columbia, Canada

FEE: $700 early bird rate until May 15, 2023 ($800 afterwards)

Travel and accommodation not included.

Details & Registration

UPCOMING CLASSES

Making Sense of Therapy


Anchored by Tamara Strijack

Thursdays 9:00-10:30 am PDT

Sept 7 to Dec 14

$750 | Runs for 15 weeks

Details & Registration

Intensive II The Separation Complex


Anchored by Genevieve Schreier

Thursdays 11:00 am-12:00 pm PDT

Sept 28 to Feb 8

$750 | Runs for 17 weeks

Details & Registration

A great big thank you to all those who have already donated to the cause. We have received just over 100 donations to date and estimate that we are about one third of the way towards what is needed for the first translation phase of the project. Both plans and personnel are coming together nicely under the able direction of our senior faculty Eva de Gosztonyi. A supporting website in the Ukrainian language is nearing completion.


For those who missed the last newsletter, this opportunity to equip the social workers of Kyiv with the Neufeld approach is a result of a direct invitation by the government of the City of Kyiv itself. We want to make good this opportunity to make a significant difference in the lives of these children of war and the families that will ultimately take care of them. All donations will go directly towards this mission. For more information about this project, visit our website.

Donate to the Kyiv Orphan Project

Catch up on newsletters you've missed by visiting our Archived Newsletters page.

Neufeld Institute | 604-263-4278 | www.neufeldinstitute.org

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