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Beshalach- Emotional Reality
For this year’s Parsha Lesson I will be focusing on a chinuch (parenting/ educational) lesson that can be derived from the Dvar Torah.
Background
At the end of last week’s parsha, parshas Bo, the Jewish people were thrown out of Mitzrayim (Egypt) by the Egyptians. Finally, after almost a full year of being tormented and ‘plagued’ by the G-d of the Jews (Hashem) the Egyptians finally had enough and realized fully, mentally and finally emotionally, that the Jewish people were not worth keeping as slaves. The punishment that they received was finally too much to bear and they kicked them out.
On the way out of Mitzrayim, Hashem commanded Moshe to command the Jewish people to ask the Egyptians for gold and silver and jewelry to take with them. The Egyptians agreed, thinking on some level that perhaps the Jews would return their possessions to them at some point later.
At the beginning of this week’s Parsha, we pick up the story with the Jewish people now being a few day’s journey outside of Mitzrayim. The Egyptians, who had sent spies to keep an eye on the Jewish people, now realized that the Jews were not returning and they had a change of heart. They now wanted to chase after the Jews and take them back as slaves.
What was the reason for this turnabout? Rashi explains that the reason why the Egyptians changed their minds was because of the money that they realized that they now lost- in the form of the gold, silver and jewelry that they had given them. While just a few days ago they were rushing the Jews out the door, they now exclaimed to each other ‘what have we done that we sent the Jewish people out from being our slaves!?’
Question
Why would the Egyptians now change their minds- about sending out the Jewish people? To say that they lost money needlessly, by giving the Jewish people their gold and silver on the way out, and they regretted that- that would make sense. But to regret kicking out these slaves whose G-d was punishing them terribly on account of the Egyptians enslaving them, that makes no sense!
These people just suffered for almost an entire year because of the Jewish nation! They were still during the intense mourning period, just a mere few days after the death of all of the firstborns of the land of Mitzrayim! And yet, they were now regretting that they let the Jewish people go!? And they were ready to now chase after these people, whose G-d was very clearly quite mighty and protective of his people!?
How silly and illogical could they be!?
Answer
This seems to be precisely what Rashi is explaining: how could they have had such an ‘insane’ change of heart? Because of the money that they had given them. When they realized their gold, silver and jewelry was not coming back- they now regretted sending the Jews out altogether.
Such is the power of a strong emotional force like one’s attachment to their money: it can prepare the setting for people to make crazy decisions. The Egyptians felt so bad and they were so ‘thrown’ by this additional loss, that they proceeded to embark on a mission which would lead to their entire army getting wiped out- something which they reasonably would have predicted. All because of what? Because of the powerful emotional force of their money being lost.
Chinuch Lesson
The emotional reality that a person lives in can sometimes be wildly irrational and false and lead them to act in a way which is destructive not just to others but even to themselves. As clear as it may seem to an observer how distorted this person’s behavior and thinking is, it seems quite real to the individual and seems to be reasonable and true.
This underscores the importance of a person strengthening their ability to establish reality properly and strengthen their ability to decipher between reason and emotion/ fantasy. Asserting the real reality for ourselves and establishing that which is true and real as also being our emotional reality, and discarding that which is false and fantasy as being just that- is of critical importance towards our being able to live rational and successful lives. Very often a good friend who is outside of the emotional ‘jail’ that we find ourselves in can be very helpful in calibrating and re-attaining our grip on reality.
At the same time, this also highlights how important and crucial this emotional component of a person is. As parents, leaders, and educators, it is absolutely necessary to have our ‘finger on the pulse’ of the emotional component of our relationships- especially with that of our main ‘student’: our own selves. We can have all sorts of good, reasonable, rational ideas, which would be so beneficial to us and to those we are leading, but if we do not have emotional buy-in, we will not be successful.
If our children, our students, anyone we are trying to educate and direct, are not emotionally on our side and with us- we will not be able to get through to them in a meaningful way. We can have all of the best teaching and parenting techniques in the world- which are very important; and we can be the most insightful and intuitive ‘people’s person’ in the world- which is also important, but we will not be able to get through and impact those who are not on board with us emotionally.
And if those that we are directing and leading are emotionally drawn to what we stand for and what we are instructing- for whatever reason that may be- then we will be able to be extremely successful, despite perhaps less than optimal circumstances, techniques and skills.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi Eli Meir Kramer
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