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When to use it
Use this phrase:
- anytime your child is complaining about not being able or allowed to do something
- when they are unable to participate in an activity or event (due to poor choices, inability to handle it, or lack or parental energy)
- when they make a poor choice with their behaviour and it excludes them from something
- when they are having a hard time thinking about a future that is better than their current situation (behaviour-wise)
Say it as often as needed throughout the day.
What to say
I Can't Wait...
... until you're strong enough
... until you can handle big feelings in an adaptive way
... until you can join family movie night
... until you can have friends over to play
... until you can do that really fun thing you want to do
... until you can make good choices
... until you're ready to join us
"I Can't wait to see you do great things!"
How to say it
Say it with excitement and pizzaz - get excited about the future possibilities!
No use of negatives, just an enthusiastic "I can't wait for that to happen!"
Examples of how to use it
Your child didn't finish their chore in time to participate in playtime - "I can't wait until you get that job done speedy quick and will be able to join us all the time to play!"
Your child acts out a big feeling inappropriately - "I can't wait until you get so strong and make good behaviour choices!"
Your child has to miss out on family movie night due to an early bedtime for brain healing - "I can't wait until you can handle staying up late for movies with us!"
Your child is mad they can't participate in an activity with peers - "I can't wait until you are strong enough to make good choices and be around other kids safely!"
Your child is taking a long time to do a brain shifter and is missing out on another activity - "I can't wait until you get strong enough to come and join us!"
What NOT to do
Don't shame or blame your child for their negative behaviours or poor choices. They are struggling in so many ways, and the best way to help them out is to build positive connections with them and help them see a better, brighter future.
Using phrases such as "If you would just act better you could play with others" or "If you would just do your chore faster you would have more time to play." So many things we could (and often want to!) say!
Negative phrases such as these keep your child's brain in survival mode and does not help to build positive parent-child connections.
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